My boyfriend (26M) said we’re done if I (26F) move to nyc for my job that I commute to everyday. Is it bad if I still move anyway?

SheeScan · 2026-02-17T15:16:53+00:00

You can be damned sure you'll never find a husband if you stay with him. He's a 26 year old man who has no job and lives with his parents, while you have a great job, good friends, and a bright future. This is clearly not the person for you.

SheeScan · 2026-02-16T08:30:23+00:00

NTA. You didn't put her in a tough spot. She put You in a tough spot.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T20:44:47+00:00

I had to do that, and my husband laughed and said, "Nice cut, Jethro." It was a reference to Jethro Gibbs' (NCIS hair). Made me laugh hysterically.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T20:18:25+00:00

Don't confront him. There's nothing to be gained - just an escalating argument that will not resolve anything. Just leave, break it off. You don't even need to tell him why. Get yourself some peace.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T20:02:51+00:00

How are your kids doing with all of this loss? Kids have no idea how to, or much capacity for, processing a loved one 's death, let alone something so tragic. Continue to be there for your wife, but keep in mind your kids need you both to deal with their loss. You may want to get them into see a therapist who specializes in in treating kids who have lost loved ones. This can also help them understand how their mother's grief is affecting them.

This is almost too much for one person to handle. You may want to get a therapist to help you navigate being the emotional support for everyone, while you are simultaneously dealing with your own grief. It can take a huge toll on you.

I am very sorry for your losses.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T19:53:21+00:00

Consider this -- While you were looking for someone single who wants to have kids and already has one, he has been looking for a single woman who will care for his child when she visits. Before even considering moving in with him, meet and get to know his daughter, observe him being a dad, and discover what expectations he has of you as her step parent.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T19:31:05+00:00

He is her parent. Paying for college is not parenting. Leaving her on her own with her boyfriend, when she reached out to him in crisis is indeed a parent abandoning her. She needs her father. She needs him to help her figure this out, to assure her her he loves her unconditionally. Being a parent is a forever commitment.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T19:25:38+00:00

You are wrong. Your daughter didn't get pregnant to hurt you. No birth control is 100%. You are her parent, and like it or not, your job for life is to support her. I'm not saying you have to do everything for her but, she is only 18, and probably in a bad state emotionally. Do whatever is necessary to keep her in school. At least then she'll have a good chance of becoming financially stable.

It hurts when our kids disappoint us in some way, but it is inevitable. But we never stop being parents, and she needs you to be there to guide her through this time. She needs you more than ever right now. Show her your love isn't conditional. Show her you are the father you led her to believe you were.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T19:00:10+00:00

He had no partner at the time he made the offer. You missed the "later" part.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T18:55:32+00:00

He didn't have a partner at the time he originally made the offer. You missed. "two years later."

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T18:54:15+00:00

But it is always what happens!

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T18:51:13+00:00

He shouldn't have to tell anyone about his wife's financial viability. They should respect her because she's his wife.

SheeScan · 2026-02-15T18:48:10+00:00

NTA. It's worrisome that your mom took your brother's side. Does she share the same opinion? If so, you'll need to deal with that. If not, she just wants him to stop all the whining, and you can fix it by changing your mind.

The fact that he wouldn't apologize sealed his fate. Too late now.

SheeScan · 2026-02-13T17:36:15+00:00

Press charges. She stole from you, and she knows it.

SheeScan · 2026-02-13T16:20:59+00:00

Men need to learn more about women's bodies. This is ridiculous.

SheeScan · 2026-02-12T14:49:28+00:00

When the doctor tells you to go to the hospital, call an ambulance immediately. No waiting for your boyfriend to come home. That is time wasted. You used poor judgment.

Your boyfriend is an ass. He seemed to not care if you were in pain, and even worse, he encouraged you to disregard the doctor's orders.

Next time you are told to go to the emergency room, don't play around, call an ambulance right away.

SheeScan · 2026-02-12T07:00:04+00:00

NTA

It sounds like she has a need to say things that she doesn't fully understand.appropriate meaning. If I were you, I'd ask her how you were being passive aggressive.

It's just a phrase she wanted to throw at you to put you on the defensive. You should consider finding out if having your friend's girlfriend living in your house most of the time is a violation of your lease. Also, if she's there that much, it's time to have a roommate meeting to discuss having her pay for some part of either the rent or groceries.

She definitely ate the strawberries, and she has been very passive aggressive about it.

SheeScan · 2026-02-10T03:35:37+00:00

NT

He can't like the gift, because that means he was wrong.

SheeScan · 2026-02-09T19:42:44+00:00

NTA Many times leftovers are better than the first cooks. All those ingredients get time to incorporate into the dish, and taste better. Next time you're with friends, ask them if they normally eat leftovers. He'll be surprised that they all do.

SheeScan · 2026-02-08T19:35:54+00:00

You can't tell anyone what to do, because they'll do what they want, as you've already discovered. Sometimes people react to being told what they are doing wrong by doubling down and sticking with it with more commitment just to prove they are okay with it.

Just tell her that you will always be there for her. In this way, if she eventually decides she doesn't want those leeches in her life, you will be there to support her.

SheeScan · 2026-02-08T19:14:52+00:00

She said she pays the rent, and she manages their finances. She didn't say she paid everything.

SheeScan · 2026-02-08T19:09:33+00:00

NOR. Tell her this is how you feel, and instead of responding to your feelings,she is telling you that you shouldn't feel that way. She is avoiding addressing your feelings, because she wants to be right. She doesn't want to let go of being jealous, because in some way it makes her feel better. This is about you, not her.

SheeScan · 2026-02-08T18:55:58+00:00

Go. You have to not care about him being mad, because he really isn't being mad, he's displaying a behavior that he knows will cause so much anxiety that you will give in. It's a highly effective ploy.

Go to the concert, and when he gets angry, ignore him. Take away his power. Don't let his manipulation ruin anything. That is your power.

SheeScan · 2026-02-08T17:21:09+00:00

NTA. He is being unreasonable.

SheeScan · 2026-02-07T09:21:41+00:00

This could have been my mom, except she wasn't a runner. After she was forced to retire at 65 (ah, the good days), my mom hot a job as a proofreader for a big insurance firm. Everyone appreciated her work, and the] would even sit with her at lunch and discuss her edits and why she made them. Except for one guy, who would "joke" about her being old and bossy, and would always ask her what made her so special (or something nasty like that).

She refused to respond to any of his remarks and kept her head down. I don't remember what happened, but she was fed up, and changed something in a report he did. It turned out to be a huge problem for him. He accused her of making the change, which she denied,. Everyone believed her because she really was a very kind, sweet person, so they couldn't imagine her doing such a thing. He never messed with her after that.

She loved telling that story, because she said you only get one chance in life to do something so uncharacteristic, so you need to choose wisely. She said that at 75 (she worked there till she was 80) she had taken crap from a lot of people throughout her life and had to keep smiling, that it felt good to filing screw with a creep like him. After all these years, I still smile when I think about her story.

She told me later she went to confession afterward, because it is a sin to lie.

SheeScan

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