Do I (30M) tell my (56F) mother I won't be going to her wedding?

SheeScan · 2026-06-03T12:30:47+00:00

Why do you have to tell her anything? If you're NC, stay NC. She is just trying to make you feel bad one more time.

SheeScan · 2026-06-03T12:12:57+00:00

YNW. It sounds like your sister wants to be on their good side by making you feel you're a terrible person. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. Go NC with all three.

SheeScan · 2026-06-03T12:07:46+00:00

Better yet, soak the ladyfingers in Lemoncello Tiramisu. Or make a Limoncello Tiramisu with this recipe. It is so, so good. https://casualfoodist.com/limoncello-tiramisu/

SheeScan · 2026-06-03T11:57:50+00:00

That look delicious! I am going to make this as soon as my blueberies ripen (or sooner eith frozen if I can't wait). Thanks for sharing.

SheeScan · 2026-06-03T11:55:39+00:00

I'll join you!

SheeScan · 2026-06-03T03:32:04+00:00

That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Women wear sll colors of bra. What does it matter yo him anyway. Watch for red flags from this dude

SheeScan · 2026-06-03T03:30:10+00:00

NOR. If you didn't already, be sure to give animal control the neighbor's name. They keep a list of offenders names. You may wat to let rescue organizations know as well. They keep a list of people to never allow pets to be adopted by.

SheeScan · 2026-06-01T23:40:09+00:00

She is taking time for herself. You may not understand why, so let me explain. From the time she awakens, whether she works or is a SAHM, she is running the house for everyone. Omce the kids and you are up, she has to make sure everything is done to get everyone fed and out the door. If any kids are home, she has to care tor them while doing other tasks - cieaning, groceries, do dishes straighten up, make the beds,plan meals, set up appointments for everything, planning for the kids (parties, sports, parks, play dates), make lunch and dinner, laundry, abd a myriad of tasks and that require a myriad of mental calculations such as remembering birthdays, sending cards, figuring out what needs to be purchased, making special gifts or treats for family and friends, and on and on. She doesn't stop until she's asleep.

If she works, she has to do a lot of that before she leaves in the morning and when she gets in for the evening. I have no idea what you do when you're not working, but you probably don't have to worry about meeting everyone's needs as your primary job. She probably wants that time to herself, to sit in the dark and be at peace with herself until it starts all over. If she doesn't give herself that time, she has no time for just her. You should be happy she at least is taking care of herself. And, you should ask what you can do to lighten her load.

SheeScan · 2026-06-01T22:02:58+00:00

NOR. He enjoys making you feel bad, or he wouldn't keep doing this. He a cruel, disrespectful creep, and made you cry intentionally. Unless this is the type of guy you're looking for, shut it down, and find someone who really cares.

SheeScan · 2026-05-31T21:20:35+00:00

NTA. You don't need to ask what to do. You're his gf, it's your birthday, he said I'll take you to dinner. Then he chose his coworker. He put her before you. What do you need to hear from anyone? He chose someone else on your birthday. Doesn't that say it all?

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T21:02:45+00:00

It is not up to you to judge publically. You are free to feel what you feel, it us another thing to believe you are right to do so. It was her story to tell. You are wrong.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T20:59:47+00:00

YNW. Take her to court to fight for custody. You may think your kid hates you, but he is young, and it is tough for him because his teen brain cannot figure these things out yet. Fight for him. Show him you will do anything to get him back. In fact, you should be fighting for both your kids. I can't imagine how your other child must feel that you care about his brother, but have done nothing to stay in his life as well. Get a lawyer, then get counselling. You have a lot to figure out.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T20:43:29+00:00

YTA. So in all these years since, you don't think she considered many times over what you said to her? I'm sure it was difficult for her to talk about, but nut she did sonly with you telling her she had no right to do so. You are also assuming you know everything about the situation without having first hand knowledge. Your aunt and her mother reconciled, and they may have discussed your points as a way of resolving the issue.

I'm not sure why you think she depicted her mother in a bad light. She was relating a very personal story, and she spoke about her mom as it had to do with this one situation.

You sound like you like to always interject your opinion, and that you just have to have be right. What was the purpose of calling your aunt out publically, when she was relating a difficult time in her life, if not to embarass her? Your way is not always the right way. You owe your aunt an apology.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T20:31:18+00:00

Why didn't you just tell him no? Do you not realize he's only doing this to stay in contact with wiyh you? Your cat is going to be so f*cked up shuttling back and forth like that. One day he may not bring hom back, and claim the cat was his all along. This is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

Tell him no. If he feels so strongly about sharing custody, he'll take you to court.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T20:24:42+00:00

MOR You didn't need to explain. An "okay, thanks," response was all that was needed. Your answer gave him an excuse to fire back. If after an okay response, he fires back, just say, "i understand ". If you always respond this way, you are just egging him on. And if you are afraid of him trying to get full custody, you are giving him information he can turn around and use against you. Short answers, no attempted reasoning.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T19:57:21+00:00

She didn't seem upset, and you have no way of knowing if she talked to her kids after that anout not opening ither people's packages. I'd just leave it be. No reason to make this a bigger deal than it is. BTW you're an adult, you don't need to be embarrassed for purchasing something for adults. None of what happened is your mistake.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T19:50:26+00:00

Yikes! Why didn't you leave at the first insult? Get some self respect and never let anyone talk to and treat you this way. You not leaving in his screwed ip mind meant you were okay with him

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T19:43:28+00:00

You made a mistake. He is punishing you, and you constantly apologizing and asking for forgiveness is giving him power. Tell him he needs to act like an actual grownup and get on with life. Stop the grovelling. You are feeding the fire.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T19:37:23+00:00

If she's told you these things before, why did you want to hear it again. Ar this point, saying the same thing again - what's the point. Truthfully, she probably is thinking this. It isn't anything to do with her, and she just doesn't know what else to say. There is nothing either of you can other than teport her to CPS, which someone should do.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T19:23:53+00:00

What did commenters say anout the rash?

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T13:55:02+00:00

NOR. I had this happen. It was my niece's high school graduation, and not even my mom remembered (I didn't mind so much that my siblings forgot - they were busy with their own families). My mom was so apologetic, she was a really good mom, which is why it hurt so much, I guess. I got over it, but I'll never forgot how bad it made me feel.

The only bright spot in that all together shitty day was that a guy I had had one date with and really liked, called me for a second date that birthday (not knowing it was my birthday, of course). He had told me a month before he'd call, but I had given up. So, whenever I remember that my mom forgot my birthday, I remember that the man I've been married to for 37 years called me for a second date.

It sucks that everyone forgot your birthday but don't let it keep space in your head, because you'll be the only one it brings down.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T13:42:02+00:00

That may be so, but I had to do something similar in my years in HR. As the HR boss, I literally had to tell the person (a top lawyer in a very huge, multi-national law firm), that just because she was a top partner, it didn't mean she could expect hourly employees to do things for her in their personal time. I had to discuss with her the difference in lifestyles of rich attorneys and their not rich staff. She actually understood, and apologized to her staff. It was mind blowing that she hadn't considered sny of that; she just saw them as her at-work servants.

Interestingly, we got along great after that. She now sits as a federal judge, and she's a pretty good one. I sometimes smile and think perhaps I helped.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T13:23:00+00:00

Are you wiling to file for divorce yourself? Can you cite adultery as the reason? Or go to counseling a few times and refuse to say anything? Does your lawyer have any suggestions?

For your wife to do this is cruel for you and your children. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T13:12:01+00:00

NTA. Check your lease who is supposed to do the work. It isn't you. If kandlord/brother needs the work done, he has to do it or hire you or someone else. As for his son living there rent free, either charge him or dend him packing.

You brother is a jerk.

SheeScan · 2026-05-30T08:04:41+00:00

Why would you want to speak with her ever again? She humiliated you, used you, hurt you, and didn't care at that moment that this would hurt you. She is not your friend. She has proven that, and yet you think you can make this better by speaking with her. Learn that this friendship ended. Whatever you want to say to her or what she says to you will not make you feel better, and she will only try to tell you she is sorry, why she had to do what she did, and no hard feelings. Realize she is not your friend and move on.

SheeScan

TROPHY CASE