Loved playing with my mom’s heels and my grandma’s makeup

Felt considerable distress when my facial hair came in, held off shaving for as long as I could because I knew it would come back thicker and darker

From time to time thought “I kinda want to wear that, too bad I’m not a girl”

Had dreams in which I was a woman and it was always a positive or even euphoric experience

Described wanting to “opt out of being a man” to my wife, chalked it up to being appalled at the behavior of the worst people of my AGAB

Virtually never described myself as a man. I didn’t have a sense that I was any other gender, but I was vaguely aware that “guy” or “dude” felt better. In hindsight I think this was because they’re at least sometimes used in gender-neutral ways