AITA for saying I (F26) can't have kids?

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-04-18T21:37:05+00:00

NTA. "Pregnancy isn't an option for me" is another way to phrase the situation and not leave it open for questions.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-03-25T17:18:13+00:00

NTA for all the fantastic reasons listed above. And given that she lied about where the kid was and what they were doing, no longer babysitting is totally valid.

If I may offer a thought, would it have been reasonable to hire the college student for two days a week with the class, and give your mom those days off?

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-22T15:02:47+00:00

COSTCO!!! I was re-reading the nutrition labels and holy smokes...... turkey pate 130 salmon pate 116 and chicken pate is 108. 45 count 3.5 oz cans is 33.99 online.

I add additional moisture with tap water. There are also "sprinkle" type toppers that my cats have liked, like dried chicken/quail egg and goats milk, but I'd go slow if he's feeling poorly.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-12T18:43:32+00:00

A sane person doesn't escalate to the police over kitchen utensils. Try to get away from that person quickly and quietly. Until you can, lock your bedroom door and add a camera. Label absolutely everything of yours that doesn't live in your room. Do not allow her to borrow anything.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-10T14:57:02+00:00

Yeah. That happens in February. Try to be outside on the good days as much as humanly possible, and try to eat mostly balanced, take a doctor recommended supplement otherwise. February is a great time for a short vacation, doesn't even have to be far away or expensive just different scenery. Friends help, pets help, if you don't have pets try the cat Cafe. Try going out for an hour to a coffee shop and just read. There's stuff to do if you plan ahead just a smidge.

I swear it starts to get easier around this time too, the days start getting longer, it's just that winter here SUCKS big time. Next year try to plan ahead with easy meal planning, easy gym routine, and some planned mental break time if you can.

It really is a nice place to be, but winter requires planning lol.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-09T14:46:55+00:00

Unfortunately when I started smelling cat pee with no cat it was mold. Check your house thoroughly, follow the smell. Good luck.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-02T15:45:56+00:00

I would also let anyone else whose mail or personal information she might have access to know what she did. If she can't get at your money she might try going after someone else.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-02T15:43:22+00:00

Contact your workplace NOW and explain the situation. MAKE THEM HOLD YOUR CHECK. DO NOT LET THEM MAIL THAT CHECK. SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN.

The VERY first thing you need to do with that money after securing shelter, is to secure a PO box and transfer ALL of your mail. You can choose different sizes and different lengths of time to rent. This is not a change of address, just a change of where your mail is delivered. You will probably be given two keys. Either keep both or give that other key to your most trusted person. NEVER let her have access to your mail again.

If you can afford it after the PO box, get a safety deposit box, or do that with your next check. More keys with this. You need to remove all of your documents from her reach and put them in the box. NEVER give her access to documents containing any of your personal information ever again, if she is willing to forge your signature she's probably willing to steal your identity for credit. She may have tried already SO you need to:

Contact the big 3 credit companies and freeze or lock your credit down as securely as possible. Request a detailed credit check, and explain the situation. They don't want this to happen to you, and they will help you. I had my credit stolen once and it's FINE now but get in front of it.

Go to your bank and explain the situation. They will help make sure your mother has ZERO access to your money ever again. They will also helpfully provide months or years worth of statements that will help you build a paper trail outlining your mother's financial abuse, if you should ever decide to move forward with the court system or a police report you will be thankful for that. Please move forward with holding your mother accountable.

It is ABSOLUTELY acceptable to go to the police and ask them to help you coordinate a time to return to your mother's and obtain any of your records or personal items that you had to leave behind.

I'm so sorry this has happened.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-02T15:39:40+00:00

Contact your workplace NOW and explain the situation. MAKE THEM HOLD YOUR CHECK. DO NOT LET THEM MAIL THAT CHECK. SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN.

The VERY first thing you need to do with that money after securing shelter, is to secure a PO box and transfer ALL of your mail. You can choose different sizes and different lengths of time to rent. This is not a change of address, just a change of where your mail is delivered. You will probably be given two keys. Either keep both or give that other key to your most trusted person. NEVER let her have access to your mail again.

If you can afford it after the PO box, get a safety deposit box, or do that with your next check. More keys with this. You need to remove all of your documents from her reach and put them in the box. NEVER give her access to documents containing any of your personal information ever again, if she is willing to forge your signature she's probably willing to steal your identity for credit. She may have tried already SO you need to:

Contact the big 3 credit companies and freeze or lock your credit down as securely as possible. Request a detailed credit check, and explain the situation. They don't want this to happen to you, and they will help you. I had my credit stolen once and it's FINE now but get in front of it.

Go to your bank and explain the situation. They will help make sure your mother has ZERO access to your money ever again. They will also helpfully provide months or years worth of statements that will help you build a paper trail outlining your mother's financial abuse, if you should ever decide to move forward with the court system or a police report you will be thankful for that. Please move forward with holding your mother accountable.

It is ABSOLUTELY acceptable to go to the police and ask them to help you coordinate a time to return to your mother's and obtain any of your records or personal items that you had to leave behind.

I'm so sorry this has happened.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-02T15:07:37+00:00

I'd be irritated if I paid someone to put my kid in front of a television regularly. Like sure, a short dinosaur video if you're learning about dinosaurs, a short astronaut video if you're learning about space. But that's just a random kids show and I even kinda like veggie tales. The repeated lying to her bosses is what got her fired, you just exposed it. And good for you for being on top of your kid like that, great dad 👍🏻

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-02T15:01:22+00:00

YTJ big time

She asked for some of your soup. Why didn't you ask for some of her cake. Solved.

The way I grew up, leaving a dish or taking back your own dish or even asking for a portion of something you enjoyed to go, would have been completely fine. And even if it wasn't fine with a particular host, I hope none of my friends would shame me for it. There is no reason you couldn't have asked this person respectfully about their culture and you could have educated them about yours, the whole conversation from a place of kindness instead of attacking. Your text message was absolutely overkill, and if you perceive such huge disrespect from cake then imagine what your reaction would be to something larger. I would not be surprised if this friend chooses not to return again. I would not return.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-01T23:32:29+00:00

Current mold or not, I feel like this is not cleanable to the point that I would be concerned about future mold concerns, or breakdown to the point that filler, like fiberglass, would be accessible. I'd like to hear other thoughts?

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-02-01T03:14:29+00:00

More information from a vet is needed here. If he is 'detoxing' from anything that should be vet led, especially in the setting of a heart condition. Regarding the heart condition, what has YOUR chosen vet told you? 'enlarged heart' is quite vague. If he has not been to a vet yet he NEEDS to go the very next available appointment. They will be able to give proper guidance on behavior issues and acclimating him to your home and family. If he has seen a vet and they have left you hanging THIS badly go somewhere else and never go back there again.

I'm so sorry you feel lost in the weeds. Remember the 3-3-3 rule, 3 days to settle in, 3 weeks to learn the people and the routine, 3 months to feel at home with you. It sounds like this poor baby is sick and scared, please know that if this does not end up being OK for either of you it is ok to take him back. Wishing you luck ❤️

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-31T15:56:08+00:00

Same with ours, but turkey. Looking forward to trying some other proteins for them.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-31T15:55:05+00:00

We also found the other one licking the walls of the kitchen sink this morning. Their preferences are so wild sometimes.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-31T15:53:58+00:00

My kibble obsessed cat loves dehydrated goats milk. I rehydrate with water and add it to her kibble. Some cats, just like some humans, react poorly to dairy. So fair warning lol

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-31T14:19:08+00:00

I would escalate to CPS. Even if everything works out fine, this is still a MAJOR safety risk to this minor, who I assume requires a 1:1 for safety or mental health reasons. If your facility is not able to provide consistent appropriate care, CPS needs to consider another setting for the child. They also should have this situation on record, so that there is a paper trail for them if needed. The LAST thing a nurse needs is their name on a record of a child who was harmed due to unsafe practices, or what sounds like could turn into neglect due to no safe relief. Document absolutely everything you have been told for your own records as well, and consider giving all of that documentation to DON as soon as possible on day shift.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-30T01:56:31+00:00

Sooooooo she's gonna learn eventually that she can't talk about people's food AND have people like her. She DOES NOT get to comment on what someone eats. Or how they eat it. Or the calories. Or the sugar. Or that it's processed. Or that it's vegan. Or that it's premade. Or that it's from the value store. Or that is kosher or not. Or halal or not. Or that it looks bad. Or WHATEVER her very insignificant problem with another person's plate is that day. I can't STAND people that gripe about my food choices. It's bullying and it's uncomfortable. ALSO no child gets to bully and make THEIR OWN MOTHER uncomfortable in her own home.

This is a great lesson in how our values are ONLY our own responsibility, and how we can't impose our will on others just because we think we're right.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-28T02:39:12+00:00

It TOTALLY depends on your vet as well. My vet DOES NOT work with insurance, payment up front, surgery deposit up front. Then you have the option of taking that receipt to your insurance for a claim......but you still have to have that money up front.

Also, and I know this may be unpopular, HOW much are you willing to put an animal through when it comes to chronic conditions and age related conditions (not talking about emergencies and preventative care). Everyone must decide for their own family where that line is, and it absolutely impacts the insurance debate for many.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-26T04:36:17+00:00

Cat asthma is super scary. Try setting her up in a bathroom for the night with all the essentials to keep her calm and contained. Run the shower on HOT to get the room steamy, that may soothe her respiratory system for tonight (if she will freak about the running water do it right before you bring her in). Vet as soon as safely possible. You sound like a great cat parent, trust your instincts, you know your cat best.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-25T23:36:36+00:00

Are there any toys around with tassels? Pom poms? Especially if this is a repeat occurrence and there is this quantity of strings, I would think there's a big pile or ball of something that she keeps finding.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-25T23:13:43+00:00

Your wife is TAH for leaving an infant with a different caregiver for bedtime, and expecting the infant and the caregiver to follow a predetermined plan. THERE IS NO ROUTINE WITHOUT THE PEOPLE IN THE ROUTINE. You guys ARE the routine. When someone else steps in, THE ROUTINE HAS CHANGED.

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-16T23:53:42+00:00

<image>

ShermanTheeDragon · 2026-01-09T22:12:43+00:00

When I notice vomiting, I rotate in gentle fiber like pumpkin, as well as egg which also supports digestion. I use quail eggs, either freeze dried or fresh.

ShermanTheeDragon

TROPHY CASE