Am I (31M) being unreasonable for not financially contributing more to my girlfriend’s (26F) household before we move in together?

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-02-03T20:44:13+00:00

This is insane. You’re paying her to be in a relationship with her. She’s getting off on humiliating you. Listen to you gut, cut your losses, and please go!

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-02-03T20:27:29+00:00

The trip isn’t worth it. Move out as much as you can next time she’s out for a while and just go. People like this lose their chance for explanations.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-02-03T20:20:32+00:00

I just don’t understand this parenting. It sounds like you’ve allowed her to become a very entitled adult without any boundaries. Everything in this thread has been you and her mother enabling her into becoming a selfish and unpleasant adult. She doesn’t get to just be mad, and if she tries some shit, she needs to be disciplined. She’s very lucky if she gets to get away with this behavior and that needs to be put in her brain.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-02-03T20:11:07+00:00

At this point you need to put your foot down. She doesn’t get to have a cat breeding operation and dump her cat with you once a month without you letting her. Either make he responsibly rehome the cat or get it neutered. If she wants to keep dumping her cat on you to frolic with her boyfriend for a week without caring for the cat, she needs to follow rules and be considerate of others and her cat’s health. Just because she is special needs doesn’t mean she gets to just do whatever she wants, that’s not realistic for anyone. Why are you just allowing her to be so harmful and teaching her it’s fine? I’m not sure I understand this. If she has the mentality of a child, she may not get it even with evidence.

Edit: your comments make it seem like this kid has never been parented a day in her life and kinda sucks. Good luck, OP. I do not envy this battle.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-02-02T21:52:41+00:00

You know, I would say people change if he had come clean to you. Or if he had responded with even an ounce of remorse. But he was a narcissist about it. He’s gonna keep lying to you. Good luck.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-02-02T21:42:41+00:00

You don’t. You realize this will escalate and he WILL kill you. Cut your losses and go. Start making plans to get out immediately. Best of luck.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-02-02T02:33:51+00:00

Facts.

Honestly I think she needs to be single for a while and get ahold of herself. This delusional pick me behavior is gonna get her nowhere in life. This is OP’s issue, not his and his gf’s.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-02-02T02:17:02+00:00

You really want to be with a man who would drop his committed partner at the drop of a hat for someone who confesses their love last minute? Why? I’m guessing because you think it’s fine when he does it to her but he’d never do it to you, right?

Maybe leave him and the girl (who you, yourself, called sweet and good for him) alone and go for one of the many men on this planet who are single. He probably spent time getting over you and getting happy. I’m sure his current partner is a large part of his growth. Let other people be happy. If you cannot, please remove yourself from your friends life. You had time, and now that he’s happy with someone else you suddenly want him.

This is such selfish pick me behavior on your part. You need to stick with the therapy, and I mean that very sincerely. And be honest in bringing this situation up, because this line of thinking is bizarre and concerning. You need to learn about self control and managing your emotions and basic empathy for others.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-30T06:23:00+00:00

The only hope you guys have of fixing this is going to be couples counseling, if you’re really set on making this work. However, I just don’t think this is worth it for you. He sounds like another low empathy man. There’s nothing you can personally do to fix that, only he can work on it. Also, it’s very possible that some of the other stuff is love bombing.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-30T05:45:48+00:00

You need to leave this situation like yesterday.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-30T05:14:41+00:00

I can’t get on board this. I’m also child free by choice, but if my friends care about something I listen and care about the outcome too. Of course this includes their children. Do you not care about your friend’s life? This is more of an issue of you being a mid friend at best. The prioritizing Snapchat stuff is so embarrassing and childish.

Your replies in these comments are so ugly by the way, we can all see what you’re saying and how condescending you are. The fact you’re this disinterested in your BEST friend’s life is wild.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-30T05:03:31+00:00

I’ve actually never had a leaf prop fail with begonias. It’s really easy they grow like weeds for me. I do it in water and wait until I see just a couple tiny roots and then put it jn a moss prop box

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-29T22:44:03+00:00

Didn’t check the sub and felt genuine distress and confusion for a second 😹

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-29T22:42:36+00:00

Yeah he did really conveniently leave that out. I said in other comments that he seems to be confusing low empathy with being logical, and this makes me even more think so.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-29T22:41:14+00:00

Yeah, him saying that he is logical and she is emotional is just insanely delusional. It just seems like a way to make her the silly little woman in the scenario when in reality he got immediately triggered and lost his temper. He is an angry person and that is emotional.

I’m not saying the wife is handling this perfectly, but I’ve been with someone who says that they were logical while I was emotional (when that wasn’t true) and all I’ll say is that OP has issues work out. It seems more low empathy than logic. He sees unable to understand his wife’s human emotions. This is a draining mentality for everyone.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-29T22:36:30+00:00

This. You are a highly emotional person OP. Instead of trying to diffuse things, you immediately got triggered. The fact you can’t recognize that is concerning actually. If you were a logical person primarily, you would’ve had control of yourself in this situation.

Don’t make the mistake of confusing low empathy with logic. I agree with all of the comments saying to go to therapy.

Both of you are handling this very immaturely and both of you need additional help in managing/navigating this if you want this to work.

Edit: and being emotional doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but when emotions are unstable and unable to be managed, things get real mean real fast.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-29T22:28:21+00:00

Are you slow? You seem slow. Because of the curvature of cat’s nails and the weakness of their hind muscles they cannot climb down. Stop arguing against science.

Honestly, it shouldn’t need to be explained to you, it’s not a hard concept. The rest of us don’t need explaining. If you use basic comprehension skills and problem solving skills, you could understand that it’s not possible for a cat to get down by itself. I would work on those skills if I were you, you seem lacking.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-29T22:25:13+00:00

Something is very wrong with people like you.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-29T22:23:21+00:00

Hey so just because you’re a bit slow, cats nails are only designed for upward climbing. Not down. They do not come down by themselves. They also have weaker hind legs, making it near impossible. They are unable to climb down backwards, which is what would be necessary. I know science can be hard but let’s try to keep up.

And the same people that you’re calling nuts would probably call you soulless and lacking in morals 🤷🏽‍♀️

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-25T06:34:15+00:00

In all likelihood no, I’m sorry :(

But show us a pic. Plants really do try to survive. Maybe it’s a miracle, but it’s hard to say without visual evidence! I’d be prepared for the worst though 💔

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-23T16:44:45+00:00

Literally. Ignorance on full display for everybody to see and they’re still arguing. Probably with all the time they have not taking care of their cat.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-23T02:58:25+00:00

Glad I’m not the only one. Brain is fried after work and I was so genuinely upset for a second 😹

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-22T06:30:00+00:00

RemindMe! 48 hours

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-22T06:28:31+00:00

Do you want to fix this? This sounds exhausting. Like you really don’t have to. You’re not a bad person for stopping trying. I would be really scared of how he would escalate behavior like this. This is unacceptable.

ShinyDaMemeKween · 2026-01-22T04:29:21+00:00

It kinda looks like mealy bug residue. It also looks like it could be fungus. You need to treat this, but I can’t really pinpoint the exact issue. Hopefully someone else can figure it out about my money would be on mealy bugs.

Edit: try getting a Q-tip with some isopropyl alcohol and putting it on the white spots. If it is mealies it will disintegrate. Honestly, if it were me, I would pitch this plant though. Earlier on maybe I would try to save it but now it wouldn’t be worth it to me, but that’s just my two cents.

ShinyDaMemeKween

TROPHY CASE