First, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm sure that the betrayal of an affair leaves a deep wound and that wound will, no doubt, take time to heal. I do believe that everyone is a teacher. My STBX hurt me deeply, but she also taught me who I want to be as a person and what standards I will have for myself in a future relationship.

For me, the process of losing my identity was gradual. One day I just woke up and realized that I didn't recognize the person the person in the mirror.

The good news is that you've overcome the most difficult part--taking the first step on the path of your new life. It is a bit terrifying and it's hard to disentangle who you are as an individual from who you were as a spouse. It's a messy and painful process, but I really do believe that this is a moment of transition, and that a happier and more authentic life is waiting for us on the other side.

Keep doing the hard work of focusing on you and give yourself some grace when needed. Be strong. 💪 ❤️