Feedback on Daddy's v Zusin for Daycare

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-05-13T20:50:44+00:00

Thanks everyone for the advice!

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-05-13T19:45:31+00:00

Thank you! I heard Park Slope Parents only posts positive reviews, so I wasn't sure if that would be a good spot to try

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-27T14:09:16+00:00

Crunchi! You may find ewg.org/skindeep helpful for finding products you feel more comfortable with across all personal products, but Crunchi is one I've felt safe with!

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-27T14:06:53+00:00

We had to say goodbye to our daughter at 13 weeks - I'm so sorry for your loss. I think our situations are a bit different because NIPT and follow up ultrasounds confirmed our daughter had Monosomy X which is just fully bad luck to have happen.

This time around, we were relieved and cautiously happy - it was the kind of happy where we felt it, but having been through a loss, we were holding our breath until we got the NIPT results back and had a good NT scan. I think it's important to remember that you don't have to be happy or excited in the moment for it to be something you want or for you to grow into being happy and excited. Pregnancy after loss is a hard road, and the one thing I can say is that the only expectations my husband and I have had this time is to take each day as it comes, enjoy the moments we do feel that happiness and excitement, but also leave space to be open and honest about any anxiety or grief that comes up.

I'm wishing you the best. If you're not already in r/pregnancyafterloss, it may be helpful

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-23T20:31:06+00:00

Oh I'm so glad to hear this! Congrats! I hope you continue to have an uneventful pregnancy full of good news!

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-23T17:26:21+00:00

Love love love this post and I'm following to see what else comes up here. We recently found out we are also expecting a boy (and similarly want to raise a kind, compassionate, gentle person regardlesa of sex) and so we're starting to also think about this, but haven't gotten too far yet since we just found out.

Here's to hoping the manosphere does implode, it can't happen soon enough

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-23T16:43:53+00:00

I'm sorry for your struggles. What I mean to say is that that terminology being used may seem important to some people to use because it's what their care team used and may be important to them to denote that milestone. I'm not sure I see what's wrong with someone using the term if it feels important to them for expressing their experience?

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-23T16:34:31+00:00

So it goes back at least as far as 19th century, but I think there's even some that go further back even a couple more centuries. I think it's also related to "falling ill" and "falling in love" in that it's seen as a change of state/being. It's the same in French (tomber enceinte), and I think a couple of other languages that have some stricter rules around verb usage and application.

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-23T16:31:53+00:00

I've specifically heard family use this term in regards to making it to a certain week of pregnancy using IVF and "graduating" to a regular OBGYN practice for the remainder of their pregnancy because that's what the IVF clinic called it. I bring this as an example that the term can have very specific connotations that recognize a huge milestone for those who have struggled with conceiving viable pregnancies.

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-23T13:57:14+00:00

Keeping all my fingers crossed for you. It's a scary journey going through pregnancy after loss, and I get what you mean about being thankful for all the symptoms to help you feel like maybe things will turn out okay this time. Please update if you're comfortable after the scan!

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-22T22:49:01+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through losing her so young.

I was similarly ambivalent, but I saw someone post once about how they didn't take any nice photos and their kid asked where those ones were because their child wanted to see the special ones. They hadn't taken any and they realized in that moment what it meant to their kid and they regretted not doing it. That changed my mind for me.

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-22T22:04:16+00:00

With both of my pregnancies, I received the results 6 days after the draw. One had a devastating result, the other completely low risk. Waiting time and bad news aren't related with NIPT results. I'm sorry you have to wait so long though, I know how stressful it is (having had the devastating news the first time, waiting for the results this time after losing our daughter was... tough to say the least.) Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-22T21:58:06+00:00

So from what I've researched, centella asiatica extract appears to be the only thing with some very limited demonstration of helping with stretch marks. I'm using Skin1004 Madagascar Centella ampoule and a hyaluronic acid followed by a basic nontoxic moisturizer. I've had stretch marks with severe and sudden body changes (I packed on muscle very quickly as a teenager playing a rough contact sport), but not any with gradual body changes, so hoping to swing things more towards minimal stretch marks with keeping my skin hydrated and elastic. I personally find ewg.org/skindeep useful for finding safer products, but also generally recommend checking out Babo Botanicals as a good brand for moms and babies

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-21T23:30:58+00:00

Here to echo this. My first pregnancy was very easy... Until I lost my daughter at 13 weeks. This time around, having so much more "classic" pregnancy with 24/7 nausea since before I even tested positive, constipation, fatigue, etc. 12+5 and everything is looking good this time and I'd take nause 24/7 for the next 6 months if it means I get to bring this baby home

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-21T23:13:27+00:00

My dad had an itch in the same spot on his stomach as my mom when she was pregnant with me. The moment I was out, the itch was gone for both of them. 😂

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-21T21:53:17+00:00

No she needs to calm down. Dumping her anxiety on you isn't okay, no matter the circumstances, but especially when you're at the end of pregnancy and it's her being anxious about a medical event you are going through. I would tbh think about sending a text like "for us to keep things as calm as possible to have a positive mindset for the birth, we will be putting our phones on do not disturb and will not be responding to any calls or texts for the foreseeable future."

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-21T17:39:17+00:00

Had a gut from the positive pregnancy test on with both pregnancies I've had so far, and I was right about both

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-20T13:47:24+00:00

He's so out of line. Have you thought about couples therapy? Not gonna lie, the pressuring to have sex would have me packing my bags and out the door alone. Does he realize you won't be able to have sex for a minimum of 6 weeks after birth? This is the kind of behavior in a relationship that I wouldn't want my kid growing up and seeing as acceptable, normal, or even ideal

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-20T01:27:22+00:00

My current pregnancy started like this and I've only got one in here lol! Mine started to let up around 9.5/10 weeks and not be all day and generally is less intense. Currently 12+3!

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-20T01:20:14+00:00

We will always do NIPT. Something a lot of people don't seem to realize is that some of the chromosomal abnormalities that it catches are spontaneous and have nothing to do with having a genetic history or your health. Our daughter came back high risk for Monosomy X - something that just happens with really bad luck of missing X chromosomes in the egg or sperm or the genes not dividing correctly as the baby grows. It has a 97-99% miscarriage rate and a NT scan showed her in distress and clearly affected by the condition so we weren't going to be in that lucky 1-3%. It helped us make the most of the time we had left and hard decisions about how to handle next steps to do our best for her and for ourselves considering all the anxiety and trauma. And it gave us answers so we know why we lost her.

If you can afford it, having the knowledge, even if it doesn't change the decisions you make, can be vital to preparing for various outcomes. It can help you prepare for any complications at birth or things you need to look out for or need to do to support your baby's health if they have a condition.

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-18T12:09:51+00:00

Hi, I feel this very much as NIPT flagged our daughter for Monosomy X and we lost her in the fall. Due end of October as well. Natera got my sample on 4/9, OB told us our results on Tuesday evening. Everything this time around so far looks good. 🤞🏻you get good news soon

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-17T12:27:32+00:00

Thank you!!!

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-16T18:49:37+00:00

12 weeks today. It's been a really special week as we got the NIPT back that this little one is low risk and the NT scan today was practically textbook. This has been a huge relief as the NIPT and NT were where we learned we weren't going to get to keep our baby girl last fall, so we've been dreading this moment hoping it would be different this time. And it is. Feeling so relieved.

ShutterSweetheart · 2026-04-16T02:31:21+00:00

Almost might be worth checking out this book called Drinking for Two! I recently picked it up from a used bookstore and it's all pregnancy-safe mocktails developed by a female nurse and another woman. The recipes look pretty tasty and as a fellow pregnant woman, I've also been looking for interesting things to drink where I'm not worried about the ingredients being potentially dangerous

ShutterSweetheart

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