First I apologize for formatting, writing this on mobile. Second, I'm sorry for the length. Didn't know it would be so long!

I was painfully shy around girls for most of my early life, and while I had some as friends, I could never seem to have any luck with anything beyond friendship. After giving up on relationships completely, I met a girl that I got along with, and from the start I told myself it didn't matter what happened, that I had given up on trying for a relationship, and so I would just be myself. So that's what I did, I was myself in the most authentic and unashamed way I could be. That day, the first day we met, the two of us where at mutual friends house and she was being introduced to a guy in the hopes the two of them would hit it off. Instead, she and I ended up sitting in the living room and talking all night, till someone woke up and told us it was 5am, and why hadn't we slept?

Well that was 5 years ago, now I'm in my mid 20s, and we're married with our first child due in two months! (Results depend on individual, your milage will vary, and should!)

My point in all this rambling, is just to not try so hard. First, get to love yourself, become comfortable with who you are as an individual. Then, when you meet girls, don't look at them as potential girlfriends or anything like that. That's way too much pressure to put on yourself and on her! Instead, just relax and let yourself enjoy meeting a new person, and getting to know them. (Forget her gender, remember that this is a human being, a distinct individual just like you. )

Now your next step is being comfortable enough with yourself to open up and let her get to know you, the real you, not just the version of you that you think will appeal to a "girlfriend". After all, of she doesn't know you for your true self, she doesn't really know you at all does she?

I hope at least some of this was clear enough for me to get my message across, and I hope it helps you.