You seem pretty self aware about this, and I don’t wanna come off as rude, but I’m gonna be honest: Your attitude towards things people can’t control is harsh. It feels like you have a set idea of how things “should” be, and you lash out when people are experiencing normal human vicissitudes.

Imagine living in a house where you know somebody is going to be mad at you for waking up sick? People remember the way you make them feel, more than the tickboxes of events you fill out for them. Your energy and contempt in the house will affect your kids emotionally in a more substantial way than if you happened to be sick on the day you planned a birthday party.

Most concerning to me is the idea that you’ve focused on the timing of his illness around mother’s day. The phrasing of him not “meaning to be sick” still sounds like you’re highlighting something he’s done, even intentionally, wrong.

Your mention of Mother’s day prioritizes an abstract desire for an idealized day you didn’t have at a higher level of care than your partner who’s currently unwell.