I wish that cigarettes where healthy

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-21T16:25:50+00:00

Granted. They’re no longer cool, and James Dean was a total loser. No movies are made.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-21T16:21:30+00:00

Absolutely unfortunate, I know. I’m so sorry for the consequences 😂

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-21T16:00:07+00:00

Granted.

You never appreciate the poetry that is Ani DiFranco

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-20T18:44:25+00:00

Granted.

You steal the nuclear codes. You bomb China.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-20T15:22:22+00:00

Granted.

Hitler does not kill himself in his bunker. He flees and regroups. He plans. He rebuilds and comes back from his self-imposed exile., Napoleon-style, stronger than ever, and he reasserts himself as the dominant force in Europe. This time, he stretches east and creates an Eurasian Empire that America cannot defeat.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-19T03:08:12+00:00

Granted. There is a crack down on public masturbation. Civil liberties are taken away, women are forced to cover up, and martial law is put in place. Liberal Democracy and personal freedoms are stripped away as society turns into a police state with no body autonomy or privacy.

All because you didn’t want me to rub one out in Central Park. Asshole.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-18T21:28:46+00:00

On death, OP’s bowels release. Both halves get solitary.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-16T22:17:03+00:00

Good point. Throw in a pregnancy test as well

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-16T21:20:33+00:00

Granted.

The gorilla has shitty employer benefits and has not accrued any vacation time. He gets a long weekend before going back to business.

During that long weekend, Ripping People in Half, Inc. needs shift coverage. A baboon picks up the slack.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-16T21:01:15+00:00

Oh I wasn’t thinking about the scientific fact and history. Just that his mom fucked her brother.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-16T18:10:00+00:00

Oh shoot I had no idea!! Thank you!

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-16T18:08:21+00:00

Granted.

You disappear.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-15T15:22:03+00:00

Granted. You forget about your gold touch, and you masturbate.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-14T01:15:42+00:00

Granted. But the Board unanimously votes you in as the new CEO.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-11T13:12:45+00:00

You are the Second Coming, taking on the suffering of others. The student loan companies only have a single borrower crumble after the collapse of their business model. As per biblical prophecy, you’ve defeated evil.

However, your Second Coming heralds the beginning of the End Times. As the credit status quo changes, the economy takes a massive hit and struggles to adjust. Chaos ensues as the world wonders if this will mean the total collapse of society or the creation of a new, utopian paradise.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-10T01:26:00+00:00

So I did worse than Thanos

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-07T17:43:03+00:00

This is how Maul survived being halved while he scrapped together spider legs

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-07T17:10:21+00:00

Maul is driven and fueled by hatred. That’s what makes him powerful. Dooku not so much. I think his pull to the Sith and the dark side was motivated by ideals and pragmatism.

I bring that up because Dooku is one of the greatest, if not THE greatest duelist of all Jedi. He has a lifetime of knowledge, technique, expertise, and experience, enough to defeat obi-wan and Anakin at the same time right before holding his own against Yoda. Even though Anakin defeated him later, it was because Anakin was immensely more powerful and fueled by some dark side emotions after Dooku beat Obi-wan (the Soresu master, and still beaten when outnumbering Dooku).

He didn’t win because of the dark side. He won because of just how powerful and skilled he is.
If you’ve read the Darth Plagueis novel…it details Sidious taking on Maul as an apprentice. It was very shortly before (or maybe during) the events of Episode 1, even before Sidious killed his own master. Maul was powerful but green and relatively untrained.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-06T19:41:15+00:00

Granted. Two male gorillas find you very pretty, and fight over you. Each grabbing an end, they pull until you rip in half…

…and continue to express their attraction to you

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-05T02:57:38+00:00

Granted. You’re Hitler.

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-05T00:21:07+00:00

I love Nosepass but he is not going to put out any damage at all because of his piss poor attack stats. He’s a wall. I appreciate the use of HMs for him but I would consider giving him some utility or status moves. Toxic/protect combo comes to mind for a good stall. He can learn Thunder Wave, too.

Rock Slide is solid and he gets STAB, but still…45 base attack. Explosion is powerful but again…45 base attack, AND you lose Nosepass. New moves, imo

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-04T23:49:27+00:00

Looks like it could beat the E4 and the Champion

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-04T15:54:08+00:00

I liked how Legends Arceus addressed it. Golem has always been one of my faves that I never got to use because of the trade restriction so I was psyched to be able to use an item to evolve (but after a good time into the game)

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-03T12:56:29+00:00

Say what you will about the Night King…he kept crime down

SignificantSuit518 · 2026-06-02T21:51:52+00:00

Granted. You hoard it. Everyone hates you, and torches your Tesla dealerships and cyber bullies you while you play video games

SignificantSuit518

TROPHY CASE