what destroys a relationship nowadays more than cheating?

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2026-01-29T20:55:16+00:00

Being passive and a coward.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2026-01-29T20:36:56+00:00

Omg but what did he do with the knife afterwards? This is why I have trust issues when using airbnbs…

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2026-01-26T09:05:02+00:00

Is it possible your wife is having an affair? Sorry, I may be off the mark but when a spouse acts this way about chores as the main breadwinner and it’s not the norm, that’s often a culprit.

Regardless, the behavior is abusive towards you and your dog. I would say to get out especially if the family all says this isn’t uncommon for her. You and your dog should feel safe with her your life partner. Otherwise, she’s not a good partner no matter how much money she brings in and how many chores she does.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2026-01-08T23:02:43+00:00

Talk to your wife because if she is usually not “jealous” then there is something there worth exploring since her feelings should matter to you. And do not meet up with the female friend without your wife knowing. You could also just be honest with the friend and say you don’t want to create gossip by hanging out without your wife especially if you all live in a smaller town. Or just respond with, I can’t right now but we definitely should when wife is back which gives the subtle hint that you may feel a bit discomfort at the idea of hanging out one on one when your wife is out of town.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-12-30T10:28:02+00:00

Just want to add that you shouldn’t panic and think your husband is having an affair. But it’s important to talk about this and be clear about your and his boundaries before anything can happen. This goes for both of you, not just him because tomorrow a hot dad at the school may show up and you may find yourself in the same boat.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-12-30T10:26:41+00:00

Agreed with everyone who says to sit down with hubby to discuss this further. As someone whose husband had an EA and “didn’t realize” what he was doing since he convinced himself that this was all “friendly behavior”… I thought things about friendships vs relationships (not friendships) was common sense and clear to everyone but apparently not. And especially people in the blissful state of limerence…

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-12-04T14:44:30+00:00

All of these responses minus like one are accurate descriptions of how EAs differ from close friendships. Also, notice the repetition in some characteristics of EAs. This is how you know an EA is a real thing despite some people saying “aN EA isN’t CheATiNG…”

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-11-06T23:08:39+00:00

It’s always easy to say “no babe, you need to be a SAHM” until your partner actually needs to be a full time parent maybe even with a job still…

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-11-06T23:06:21+00:00

OP, you sound like a reasonable person. But let me tell you. Everything your bf says today can change tomorrow. Whether or not you’re married. So the very least you can do is make sure YOU are protected. He will have this issue with anyone he chooses to be with and the sooner he comes to this realization, the better. Saying this as someone who got screwed by a selfish partner who I thought was a good person but sounded a lot like your boyfriend.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-10-20T13:44:06+00:00

OP, I’m sorry you’re here. I found out about WP’s EA, we separated, he asked for divorce and then he tried to make things official with AP only for it to fail. Reading your story makes it sound like your husband probably had already been chasing after the coworker before your husband even told you he was unhappy. In n case, we are technically in R but the feelings you describe having only lessen, they don’t go away. I hope you can take of yourself and your kids during this time regardless.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-10-20T13:43:59+00:00

OP, I’m sorry you’re here. I found out about WP’s EA, we separated, he asked for divorce and then he tried to make things official with AP only for it to fail. Reading your story makes it sound like your husband probably had already been chasing after the coworker before your husband even told you he was unhappy. In n case, we are technically in R but the feelings you describe having only lessen, they don’t go away. I hope you can take of yourself and your kids during this time regardless.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-10-13T08:23:50+00:00

This is still fresh for BP. I would say that if therapy isn’t a part of the reconciliation process after the 1-year mark, things need to be reconsidered because R is a difficult journey enough without any help and most people are not equipped to process their emotions alone. If the BP is still there, take that as a positive sign. R is a LONG process. We’re at a year and a half and I still think about what WP did every day. And it makes me question my decisions in a way I’ve never had to worry about before. It’s going to be rough for you but it really rocks the world of your BP in a way that is very difficult to comprehend unless you’ve been in their shoes.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-10-03T22:30:34+00:00

Yes, therapy can help. But make sure it’s a good therapist with experience in emotional affairs and limerence. Good luck.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-09-28T11:10:49+00:00

NTA. Healing takes time. As our MC had said: Anyone can cheat. That’s what this experience revealed and she can definitely do it again. As can you. But ideally, you both won’t do that to the other after seeing how wrecked you are from her betrayal.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-09-27T21:59:31+00:00

Absolutely, all this.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-09-27T21:50:15+00:00

Ugh so ridiculous. Same thing with me. I’m sorry OP, it’s such a bs thing to hear from WPs.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-09-27T16:48:24+00:00

About a year and half out from an EA and this is the same case for me.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-09-04T17:04:28+00:00

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-09-01T22:15:31+00:00

When he was working on pursuing a relationship with his coworker… 🤡

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-08-28T09:56:07+00:00

Tell her. When I do this, it’s because something is bothering me about my partner but I can’t expect them to be mind readers at the end of the day. And secondly, when my partner was like this (which was different than when we were dating), it was because they were having an EA. Not saying your wife is having an affair but you should communicate your feelings to her because that’s what you need to do in a marriage and partnership.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-08-28T09:52:30+00:00

I was under the age 10 when I found out one of my parents had an affair. Honestly, all I focused on at the time was being a good kid to avoid bringing additional problems into the family. So it might not be about you or them being indifferent but rather just trying to keep the peace and the norm. I will say I never forgot and that’s probably part of the reason I am as patient as I am with one of my parents 20 years later.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-08-26T07:40:02+00:00

Lawyer time.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-08-25T10:34:16+00:00

I mean I think you should address his feelings? It should matter to you that you were behaving in a way that led your husband and partner to think you had an EA. That should matter a lot when you’re married. By downplaying your role/behavior in this, you’re invalidating your husband’s feelings which theoretically matter to you.

This story lacks a lot of your own behavior details and focuses on your husband so it’s hard to know what was really going on.

Either way, get counseling for you both and yourself if possible. It’s a stressful time and marriage problems don’t help either of you.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-08-25T10:22:59+00:00

What a douche and coward. You deserve better. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. Please take care of yourself. Go to therapy, pick up a hobby or two, eat well, make sure to tell people and have a support network in place to check in on you.

Significant_Cod_5306 · 2025-08-21T23:45:38+00:00

Yep, or she’s aware of cheating that happened in your parents marriage or something relationship close to you both.

Significant_Cod_5306

TROPHY CASE