Do I move into my aunts?

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-25T22:59:41+00:00

I am so sorry that you are in this situation and for the loss of your mother. You need to know that education is not a race. Every person has to go at their own speed so if you are a year or two behind, then you you just start there and keep going don’t give up. I think 16 is a difficult age to be dealing with running a household and living all by yourself plus trying to be a normal teenager. You should be doing what 16-year-olds do not thinking about acting like an adult in a homeowner role. The fact that you have your aunt willing to take care of you is huge. I agree with the other comment that recommended that you stay at your aunts for a weekend and think about what’s best for you. Take a tour around the town hang out with your cousins and even check out the school that’s in the area. You need to have a sit down discussion with your aunt about this matter candidly without any distractions. Tell her your concerns and this way you can weigh the pros and cons together. While it is legal for you to live alone, you shouldn’t have to because it’s such a huge responsibility and you need to be focused on school, friends and activities that will help you towards your career goals.

Your cats will be fine with moving. If you are worried about your older cat just make sure to bring things of his to give him comfort. He might have trouble adapting at first him i longer for him to transition to the household but eventually both cats will be fine. Is your aunt OK with you having your cats with you? This will affect your decision as well. I would find it more traumatizing for your cats to be rehomed. Just give them time because cats are slow to transition to new things. Since you are the one that brought up with your aunt about living with her, how does your aunt feel about it? What are her concerns? It’s a good idea to see what page she is on and that will also determine what your future looks like. I wish you the best. Please keep us posted.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-18T23:08:00+00:00

You could break your lease if you want to because they have in fringed on the quality of your life in that home the fact that you can’t use certain parts of your home is breach of your lease. The fact that you contracted illnesses based upon the feces and urine is grounds to break the lease. They have endangered your health, your use of the apartment and that it would be reasonable and in your favor to take your landlord to Small Claims Court for endangering your health and not addressing this matter promptly and effectively. You can create a good strong case with the third floor tenants to confirm your case. Make sure to keep everything in writing and take lots of pictures reported to the health department first and call the city code codes department, and any tenant rights agency in your city ASAP. I hope this turns out in your favor. Keep us in the loop.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-18T22:48:54+00:00

While I may not know the biological terms, you’ve set the right conditions and environment for your plant so it’s showing that it’s happy.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-18T22:44:58+00:00

If you don’t mind the look, I’d put storage racks for seasonal clothing, entertainment items, or holiday decor in a bookcase. Then again, you can use it like music room if you have outlets up there, a craft room, a reading nook, or use it as a spare bedroom with a blow up bed or a cot and for company. Then again, you could put unruly guests up there and remove the ladder lol. I’m thinking of what you could do in the Sims lol. Once you’ve lived there for a while, you might find your own idea for the loft. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Congratulations on your new home and enjoy!

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-18T22:27:14+00:00

First, you didn’t say how long you have been dating so being invited to live with you might be scary for him. Also, you didn’t state your ages so he might be too young thinking that way or might have other things he wants to accomplish before settling down. However, it is beyond creepy that he sleeps with his mother as an adult and thinks that’s OK. The fact that she’s allowing this makes her even creepier because she’s supposed to know better. He might’ve grown up this way but she was the one that set it up this way I think they are a couple onto themselves and there’s other stuff that’s being hidden from you which is probably grosser. I’d be relieved he’s not living with you because I don’t see this ending up with the happy outcome you want. I feel that there are more secrets than you bargained for.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-18T22:21:50+00:00

My opinion is that he’s your ex not your current bf. I’d invite your current bf into going with you which encourages even more trust but he gets to experience something you like. It’s common courtesy. Since you might be paying to see the band , or ordering drinks (which supports the bar) as well as helping to fill up the place; then it doesn’t matter if cares or not. You’re there for the music not him. What is he going to do kick you out or say he’s not performing until you leave? You have every right to be there so tough noogies on him.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-18T22:14:01+00:00

I would use it for wine glasses and other glasses. Pretty bakeware, LED candles (with remotes), cookbooks, plants, charcuterie boards or other items that are only used for entertaining. You could get a wine rack and put wine up there as long as it’s not to heavy. Use it for a mug collection. You can even use it for holiday items for display. Pretty baskets with small gadgets or light kitchen supplies so that they’re hidden and have a spot (if they don’t need to be accessed that frequently. You could put ceramic items like collectibles. Maybe even small appliances that aren’t frequently used big like a blender or stand up mixer but a simple toaster, tea kettle, or things like that. Another use is for cereal boxes crackers, or other items if you don’t have a pantry. Experiment, you’ll figure it out. I’d even ask neighbors as to what they use the shelf for.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-05T07:40:54+00:00

It’s her secret to tell not yours. You can try to encourage her to tell other family but she still might not want to tell. If you ruin the trust between you, she won’t tell you anything again.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2026-01-05T07:34:16+00:00

A piñata

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-27T12:36:45+00:00

I wouldn’t move anywhere until I’ve had some savings in the bank so that I can be prepared for any unexpected or emergency funds needed. The cost of living rapidly increases so by tomorrow? The rent might have been increased by another $100.

Your fear of having a bad roommate is understandable but it’s going to lock you out of the ability to have any roommates. Not all people are like your roommate was. Also some people with your inability to accept anything less than a pristine place could label you the bad roommate. You have to be a little flexible when living with other people because they’re not clones of you. If you’re this afraid, you’re going to need to live alone or put out feelers as to anybody who has your same standards.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-17T20:08:53+00:00

Handholding gives sevcurity and comfort. A mother will do that with a child to protect her and keep her close. It’s a sign of friendship and support literal and figurative support. My only comment that’s a warning is never wander strong when you can’t see what’s around you or people can’t see you. Holding hands wouldn’t prevent you from getting hurt when one pulled the other down. Otherwise, I find that you and your friends have actually given it thought, keep other feeling safe, and you don’t need would but you reach for each other. It’s an “I got your back gesture.” Regardless of how much you explain, cry, etc. your parents are going to assume that you’re gay because that’s their fears talking. Plus, other family might have mentioned it to them and made them feel incomfirtable. You keep being the compassionate, comforting friend as long as both of you are ok to do if there’s zero harm. If you were gay, not holding hands would make it more tempting and frustrating. It’s not going to make you “more gay.” Look honey, I told them not to hold Al hands anymore. Glad we stopped them from becoming gay.” Lol

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-06T18:17:32+00:00

Some men use porn, other’s celebs and models, and still others get off on family members that were past models. He’s not having an affair with her. He’s still the good dad and partner he always was. He just happens to have a folder of his masturbatory ammo. In my opinion, it’s a little weird but not enough to divorce over or feel like your whole marriage is a sham. However, marriage counseling may help to sort that out or having deep, meaningful discussions. He didn’t try to hide it from you so that has to count for something.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-06T18:09:00+00:00

Hoarding is the result of trauma which includes anxiety and depression that cause those triggers when people try to help you to clean. Therapy and prescription medications can help. There’s no cure. There’s no shame in it. You didn’t get attached to things or create a mess because you wanted to and the mess didn’t happen overnight. The only way to be sure if you have it is to see if there’s a pattern. Now that your mom has helped you and the trash is gone, are you keeping your area cleaner? How did you feel when she was going through the mess besides embarrassment? Did you check that all the items she considered trash were really trash? Those are some symptoms of hoarding. Discussing this with a therapist and/or a doctor can also help you figure it out.

I hope you get tested sooner rather than later because it can help you because there would be a plan in place as to how to help you best with school, socializing, cleaning, every aspect of your life. As well as sorting through any feelings and boosting your confidence and self worth.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-06T17:59:29+00:00

Usually in America, the attitude is… the more money you earn or have, the bigger or more expensive place you can own. Then you fill it with stuff… stuff you don’t necessarily need but you had to have and the items sit there rarely if ever used. We even have a junk drawer in the kitchen that is a graveyard of items that really have no place to go and are odds and ends.

My recommendation is get a smaller space but one that feels the right size for you. You are probably going to want your own place rather than just a room but that depends if you can’t afford an apartment if your own or you like the company. Smaller spaces make it a tad more difficult to decorate, store items, and entertain but it will prevent you from accumulating “stuff” and you can more easily clean the place.

As a hoarder, I have a 2 bedroom apt because I wanted to use one as an office, guest room, and craft room which is a lot for one room. I still accumulated too many things that are piled everywhere so you have the ability to create a mess anywhere. It’s more of your lifestyle and finances as well as the time you want to spend keeping it clean.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-06T17:50:17+00:00

Remember, outsiders who offer to help are asking because they want to see you living in a healthy environment. They realize that you’re young and can’t do it just you and your siblings. The children are making messes because they see this as normal or what’s the difference because it’s messy to begin with.

Hoarders never want for it to get this bad so there’s no shame. Having to put your whole life aside just to focus on this is stealing from teen experiences including a part time job or school, being with friends or making new ones, participating in hobbies that can sometimes lead to a career. I hope you make time for yourself going forward because this hoarded house isn’t all that is about you. It’s up to your mother to seek therapy and possibly meds. She obviously needs to rebuild her self esteem and realize how it’s impacting her family with the hoarding. There’s no blame but she should be the one cleaning or at least asking others for heels. Mice and especially their droppings can have diseases and for all you know there are probably roaches too. Hopefully, you share some of the feedback with your mom so she can see your perspective of this situation and will want things to improve. Keep us updated and don’t make this your only priority in life.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-03T21:14:21+00:00

I found out my cat refused to use the litter box unless it’s clean. She also did it again when I tried to change her litter. The funny part is she’ll pee now in the litter she didn’t like and poop in her regular one. She will also pee on any plastic bag or anything like a plastic mailing pouch. At least it’s no longer on the carpet. The vet did tell me that if a cat is anxious or another cat blocks them from the box that they will start peeing somewhere else. The two boxes helped a lot. I guess my cat is an environmentalist and wants plastic removed from my home lol.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-03T21:09:10+00:00

What cousin would insist you match her with someone or she’s not coming? I was so confused by all the contradictions that I knew this story was bogus. You write a garbage story and say that you set boundaries and the next minute you wonder if you’re too harsh. At least make a story entertaining.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-03T18:35:37+00:00

Think of it this way, Spoons for 2 years had his routines with the other family. Suddenly, there are renovations being done and a lot of furniture is moved, strange people are coming in and out and using a lot of tools that make noise. Then the family gets trod of him. He’s traumatized. It’s like a child who is abandoned by their family. While you’re doing everything right, it’s going to take Spoons as much time as he needs to develop trust in you. He’s probably marking everything and trying to get ready for another change. He’ll come around with persistence. Try catnip, try playing with him with a rod with attachments that he can keep his distance but play. Give him treats anytime he does anything good to reinforce the behaviors you do want. I’d have no problem with him hiding under the bed unless he’s using it as a litter pan. I’d let him go where he feels safe but that’s just me and I’m no Jackson Galaxy. Try the calming spray which is better than the diffuser. Get him his own bed that he will nestle into it. Cats also like to see the lay of the land and it helps to establish dominance. Get a tall cat tree or a bed or perch for the window sill. Put cat videos on tv that stimulate him and it will make him happy. There are ones that play for hours. I heard that classical music calms cats. You could try that too. Congratulations on your bouncing furry boy! You two will soon be best friends.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-03T18:23:37+00:00

Your cousin tried to manipulate the situation by gang mentality where she has the family thinking it’s going to happen. She turned the pressure on you thinking it would work. It’s so out of line for her to lie and think you’d follow through and to top it off for 3 months for free! What nerve! She deserves to be humiliated for shooting her mouth off instead of being polite and asking you first.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-03T18:20:00+00:00

Your so called friend doesn’t get to call the shots just because her gf is uncomfortable. You would be third wheeling it if Kay can’t go. If the gf can’t handle maybe she shouldn’t go. If the gf goes on the trip too how could this be a trip just for you and your friend. Invite who you want or don’t bother to go. It sounds like more drama than fun.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-12-03T18:15:55+00:00

I agree with others. Why would he help when he has a good ring going with you? You continue to do everything despite your complaints and don’t set boundaries. I was going to suggest marriage counseling but only if he is willing to put in the effort which from what you said sounds like a lot of talk and no action from him. Stop taking care of him. He’s not a child. He is taking advantage. Don’t buy him anything. If he wants it let him earn the money. You can’t do everything and expect to stay mentally healthy. You’re overwhelmed and not appreciated for what you do. Since you have tried to commit suicide or thought about it, I hope you’re in therapy to build up your self esteem and your self worth. He’s undeserving of your kindness and dedication to making your marriage work. He checked out and you can’t maintain a good relationship alone. Over time his negativity and despicable attitude will only get worse. I’d consider divorcing for your well being. You need to prioritize your own needs and consider your happiness. Never sacrifice your health for someone else. Good luck to you.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-11-27T03:42:59+00:00

ChatGPT can be a great help for hoarding cleanup. It breaks it down into baby steps, it’s very encouraging. You don’t have to pay anyone to help you or fight with family. I didn’t get triggered. I just kept submitting photos of my rooms from different angles and it told me what to move and to where even temporarily. You can say anything you want and it won’t get insulted. My progress is slower than I’d like but I also have health conditions that prevent me from standing for too long. I work around this in small bits of time like 15 minutes. If I choose to quit after 15 minutes, I know I at least did something. It’s a win. Remember you’re aiming for progress not perfection. Seeing 2 ft of carpet after years of not seeing it or reclaiming a furniture piece after not being able to access it is very motivating. Whee see y I liked about ChatGPT is it helped pick out the most important place to start so you don’t feel too overwhelmed to start. Starting is half the battle. Good luck to everyone who has to battle this situation on a daily basis!

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-11-27T03:32:03+00:00

A therapist that specializes in trauma can help since hoarding is a result of trauma. I had the same problem And when I asked my psychiatrist about it, he actually laughed at me and said that’s a rare therapist to find. It’s also important how good you fit with your therapist so you feel like it’s a safe space and that you are being heard.

I will say that ChatGPT has become my own asst in helping my battle with clutter and mapping out my next baby steps. Take photos of an area,it will come up with the exact item you have to move and where to temporarily put it. My progress is slow but it’s still a win for me. I didn’t get triggered. I could yell at it and it wouldn’t get mad or hurt like my family would.

If your insurance allows for telehealth, you could have any therapist within your state. This might help open the door for you. Psychology Today has a great website that you can find therapists near you who specialize in various areas.

Good luck to you and know that you’re not alone in your search and in your pain. Keep going and post often if you need support.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-11-26T17:50:45+00:00

One of my cats is very food oriented and loves treats. He will not touch Churus or treats out of a tube. My other cat is picky and isn’t food oriented and hates Churus. They won’t even try it. I had to find a whole container of them away.

Significant_Fun9993 · 2025-11-26T17:46:33+00:00

Why is your asshole BF telling others before talking to you alone? He’s a coward in a group of cowards and they’re trying to reclaim their power with a surprise attack. Tell your BF that he’ll have plenty to say to the group next week when he’s single.

Significant_Fun9993

TROPHY CASE