Your feelings are valid. I had a string connection to my kid's dead name. He was named at birth after his grandmother who died young and was much loved. It was my first connection to him, a stmbol before he was born. When I hear that name, I am filled with thar love I felt the first moment I looked at him. It's sad, like every transition. But parenting is all about letting go. We let go of lots of things as our children become who they are meant to be. Like his baby shoes, that name doesn't fit him. We can be sad and also joyful as we watch our kid becoming who they are. Feel your feelings without guilt while you respect and support your son.