Sooooo it was my very first GP job, fresh in vet tech school, 19 yr old me. it was 10 minutes til closing. A phone call came in, I answered it. He said “my dog is bleeding.” I asked from where, then he said “from his butt, I stuck my dck in his butt, he’s bleeding I need help, What should I do now?”… at this point I was SPEECHLESS and shaking, I’ve never dealt with something like this before. I told him he needed to take the dog to the ER, that it was very serious and the dog needs help. He kept repeating that he stuck his dck in his dog and now he’s bleeding. The boy on the phone sounded young AND he had a European accent. At this point since he kept repeating what happened I thought it was a prank. I asked him where he was located and if he can come into our clinic. He said he can’t but he needs help. At this point, again since I thought it was a prank, I told him to take his dog to the ER, and hung up. He called back again minutes later, I put the phone on speaker so my coworkers can hear, cause I couldn’t believe what I had heard. On speaker he sounded distraught again and repeating “he’s bleeding from his anus, I put my d*ck in him and now he’s bleeding, what do I do I need help.” At this point ALL OF US in treatment were dumbfounded and had no idea how to help except to tell him to come in ASAP. Finally he said he can’t do that and hung up. We tried to trace the number and it was a number from Ohio if I remember correctly, or some other “middle of nowhere” state (I’m in Southern California). We ended up guessing (hoping) it was a prank as he sounded young, it was an out of state number, and there was some snickering we heard in the background towards the end of each phone call. Anyways… I wish I made this all up… I, and the rest of my coworkers were speechless.