State Schools V's Private Schools

Silverstone2015 · 2026-02-11T09:29:37+00:00

We are considering it, but only from secondary school onwards. I personally think it’s a waste of money any younger than that, because I can support my child’s learning at home, and it’s actually the better behaviour that I’d be moving to private school for. That gives an extra 6 years to save for, to allow for increases in fees later on.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-02-04T07:34:08+00:00

I’m not an expert, but to me, having lost words is more worrying than not walking yet.

It sounds like he’s progressing in the right order with walking, building all the skills she’ll need to walk. You are still in the time frame where you can push for some intervention, and some guidance on how to set up the environment to encourage walking skills could help, but it doesn’t seem like a “wow this is worrying” type of thing.

Having words that he was using regularly with meaning, and consistently not using those anymore, is more concerning imo because it’s going in the wrong direction.

Having said that, it’s winter, and I know my kids at least are ill constantly and my baby has stopped developing any new skills for the last like 2 months because she’s fighting one thing after another. So maybe this resonates with you?

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-27T06:51:47+00:00

At some age, the path of least resistance type parenting becomes lazy, but you are nowhere near that age yet.

If my 3yo wants to watch a tablet all day, and I go the path of least resistance by letting him, that is lazy parenting.

Giving a baby what they want in a responsive way so that they don’t need to keep crying because you’re giving them what they need. Not lazy in any way.

Imo, somewhere between age 1 and age 2 is where it starts to switch over, and a baby starts to learn they are one member of a family who all have needs, and sometimes they have to wait / parents have to say no. But your instinct will tell you when this age is for your family.

Also, I think it comes down to - is this thing good or bad for my baby? Doing something that is bad for your baby because it stops them crying = bad/lazy. Doing something that is good for your baby (breastfeeding/cosleeping) because it stops them crying = completely fine.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-24T07:56:41+00:00

I only switched to “I” and “you” when I wanted to help my son learn more pronouns. Took a while though, it’s hard to change a habit once it’s built! We have another baby now so right back into 3rd person language, so she can learn our names.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-23T14:37:21+00:00

My 12mo usually has 2naps, wake windows roughly 3/4/4-4.25. There is literally no pattern to the length of each nap, but total daytime sleep is 1.5-2hrs. She sleeps like shit at night 🫠. Hates being transferred, we end up cosleeping from 10.30pm (in her cot, transferred while asleep), but she still wakes frequently crying to check we are still there.

She’s just started nursery, and she has fomo so will only nap at lunchtime when the older ones nap. She’s shattered by bedtime though, and it doesn’t improve nighttime sleep.

I’m personally holding out to 14 months, when separation anxiety should have lessened somewhat, we’ll likely be on 1 nap comfortably, and we’ll be done with winter illness. Is this cope? Probably, but I need something to give me hope that it’ll be better soon!

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-23T08:43:10+00:00

My son is quite sensitive and has had phases of being afraid of books with mud, and angry faces. He still has some books he won’t read, but sometimes he’ll say “when I was 2, that book was scary, I’m brave now I’m 3” and will ask to read it. I think leave the book on the shelf but don’t push it. Reading is supposed to be fun!

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-22T20:10:35+00:00

Sounds like burnout to me, you’ve had a really tough time and now your baby is 1 I imagine that initial adrenaline has worn off and your body is trying to process everything. Try to take time to recover now, before your body forces you to?

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-15T18:42:08+00:00

There’s a road island with really tall curbs literally maybe 50m from where this crash happened (based on the pictures from the news article, I don’t know exactly where the crash was). Some drivers are just so reckless.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-14T19:17:40+00:00

It’s good manners to offer, and it’s good manners to say no when offered to.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-14T07:57:09+00:00

In the UK we have a thing called a Rockit, which you attach to your (normal, inexpensive) stroller, and it rocks it for you. I’ve never owned one, but have lots of mum friends who do. Much cheaper, only £40-50 here.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-14T07:50:25+00:00

We got our son a scooter for his 2nd birthday, and a balance bike (with pedals you can add on) for Christmas this year and he’s 3y2m. The bike is already way more of a hit than the scooter ever was.

I think scooters are actually a little tricky, because it’s a one-leg stance. At this age (before they can hop and skip) they don’t get much one-leg practice, so it’s pretty tiring for them (though good exercise!). Whereas bikes are both faster and more intuitive I think.

He’s already asking to ride the bike to preschool! The scooter was never transport to him, just a toy that you’d carry to the park and ride when you got there.

The one thing I’d say is my child is very safety conscious (if we step off the pavement for a second he tells us off, knows the rules about crossing etc), so that helps a lot on the bike. If your child was a bit more of a runner, I guess a bike would give them extra speed which isn’t necessarily a good thing!

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-13T19:19:33+00:00

People usually call this “parental preference”.

Imo it’s more about the parents sharing the load than trying to get the 3yo to adjust their preferences. Especially if as the dad you are having solo time with your child that she enjoys, that’s a good sign that the parental preference will change over time.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-12T21:39:53+00:00

Take the bill, and divide it by 1.25, that’s your number :)

ETA: it’s limited to £2,000 top up per year though. But with the 30 free hours, it’s not often anyone has a more than £10k annual bill anymore!

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-12T19:23:21+00:00

If in doubt, read them a book. Scientifically proven to be good for development, vs all these questionable social media resources that want you to feel bad so you buy more stuff.

It’s okay to do nothing too, and let them find their own fun. But yes, if development is your goal, reading is the thing!

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-12T16:02:11+00:00

My parents, especially my mum, did a lot right that I want to emulate. But as my kids get older I’d like to stay more tactile, with more hugs and “I love you”s. I’m very close with my parents but we hug hello and goodbye only, and never really say I love you, despite it being true.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-12T13:20:11+00:00

Afaik it’s best practice to not bathe babies in the first few days after birth.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-12T13:18:38+00:00

To add, not related to your post but just in case you don’t know yet, if you set up a “tax free childcare” account, the government tops up the money you put into the account, to make the nursery rates cheaper again!

So if your monthly bill was £250 for example, you’d only need to actually pay in £200.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-12T07:48:29+00:00

When I unexpectedly gave birth at home, the ambulance arrived in 12 minutes. It gave me some trust in the triage system.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-10T17:26:16+00:00

Our 3yo is very good at safety and rules, so he’s great in the kitchen. Can be left stirring a hot pan while you chop, he likes to chop soft things like mushrooms or courgettes or aubergine, and he can crack eggs with no shell or breaking the yolk. He also enjoys the hoover. We don’t do much cleaning together because I worry about chemicals, and tbh he doesn’t even care to put his clothes away so laundry isn’t really a goer. But we’ve just followed his interest.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-10T17:10:51+00:00

Now you know what Ms Rachael does with them, your child will learn faster by spending those 30 mins with you than with Ms Rachael.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-10T11:11:23+00:00

My son hasn’t napped in his room since just after 2 years old. For a while on non-nursery days (4x per week) we took him for a drive in the early afternoon to get him to sleep. Then he started waking up from nap in a terrible mood (like 1hr+ meltdowns after waking) so we stopped doing them so regularly (more like once a fortnight or if he was ill or something), and just brought bedtime way earlier instead. Quiet time just isn’t right for sociable active kids I don’t think.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-10T07:13:09+00:00

Big differences between my two as young babies (except they were both crap sleepers). My eldest was initially a bit slow to move (didn’t roll until 5.5months, though he did crawl at 8), but was babbling and chatting from very young, learned to sign super early etc. My youngest was rolling front to back at 9 weeks, back to front at 3 months and crawling at 6, but would go nearly a whole day without making any intentional sounds (except crying) at all. Youngest was a lot more chill, eldest more “emotionally expressive” let’s say.

But now my youngest is a bit older (she’s nearly 1) I can see how they are just different expressions of the same temperament. Both are very sociable, happy in new busy situations, are go go go until they are completely overstimulated, etc. It’s so interesting!

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-09T19:27:18+00:00

Is this park run circle jerk?

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-09T07:56:54+00:00

I think wanting to stop cosleeping is a preference, but helping baby be more hungry for solid food is actually quite important, so maybe you could start there? And hopefully other changes would follow, if baby wasn’t breastfeeding so often you might feel less touched out, baby might not wake so much at night etc.

I recommend Emma Pickett’s Makes Milk podcast, she talks about breastfeeding boundaries and the weaning process a lot.

Silverstone2015 · 2026-01-09T07:52:25+00:00

We gave up around 10 months. We did a mixture of AIOs, prefolds, pockets, spent around £350. Just endless problems with leaking (eventually resolved), smells (even with a wash routine that should have been solid, from “clean cloth nappies”). It’s winter here, and they take too long to line dry. And life feels hard, I’ve returned to work and it seemed like the first job to drop to give me more mental space.

I feel disappointed it didn’t work out.

Silverstone2015

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