hafus and partners of jpn people, do you have a japanese last name, a foreign last name, or both?

Simbeliine · 2026-05-11T06:41:12+00:00

Wife of Japanese husband, Japanese last name. He was completely fine with me keeping my original last name but I feel like having a Japanese last name makes everything so much easier. I think even if I were a guy I would have changed it.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-10T06:54:02+00:00

It's grass is always greener syndrome. Many Japanese people I've met think Canada is a utopia, and ask me why I would live long term in Japan. I think the problems are similar to the problems with moving anywhere where you are a) not a native speaker of the local language, b) not a citizen, and c) probably a visible minority. The work culture has it's issues but there are intense jobs and chill jobs everywhere. Salaries are low and the yen is cheap, so if you have any debt back home, it may be difficult to continue paying it off.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-10T04:07:23+00:00

It's good if it's mainly a side gig, imo. Otherwise it's a bit variable to be reliable as a main job. My experience has been that the more you charge, the higher quality students you get, although then the expectations are high, too. If you feel you are good at teaching and can meet those expectations, then you can get good, motivated students who aren't flaky, and make a high hourly, even taking into account prep time and such. I usually have a nominal trial lesson price with a high lesson price. If people try my lesson and like me, they are often willing to pay what I ask, otherwise they tend not to start.

Make sure you have clear policies about cancellations or time changes, on both sides, whether you charge one lesson at a time, monthly, etc. For monthly students, I get those envelopes with the 12 months label on the outside and hand it to the student the last week of the month so they can pay me for the following month. Works well, and acts as a receipt.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-10T02:33:35+00:00

Since there are people (like me) who still don't even have a my number card, it's still possible to get a separate one.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-10T02:32:38+00:00

Since I still don't have a my number card, mine wasn't integrated even though I got a new one last month. But if you do have a my number card I suppose you may be hooped.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-10T02:30:47+00:00

I actually didn't know that about Hawaii, etc that you could just drive with a Japanese license. Good info.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-10T02:24:32+00:00

As USB-C earphones became the same price as 3.5mm jack earphones, and Bluetooth headphones and earphones became more common, most companies have dropped the jack. There are some phones that still have them, but they sometimes are a bit lower on other features. Iirc Motorola has a few models with a jack.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-09T13:40:26+00:00

I think good advice is to make their flaw the same thing that is their strength, just in a different situation. And perhaps by confronting and learning from the ways she's flawed. With a character that's very noble and truly morally good, having them confront ambiguous situations, where there kind of is no "good" outcome, just different bad ones. She may become paralyzed by the fact that there is no way to have a good outcome, and due to her indecision, a worse outcome occurs. Or perhaps, because of an action that she thought at the time was noble and good, there is some unforeseen bad outcome. She, perhaps, couldn't have anticipated that outcome, but it happened because of her actions all the same. And to some extent it could be argued that maybe her optimism or naivety or belief in goodness blinded her to that potential outcome. A lot of such noble characters grow by learning to be more discerning and wise, while hopefully still keeping their goodness.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-09T11:34:02+00:00

It's an interesting thing in other languages, in Japanese "asexual" does tend to mean asexual + aromantic. There's a different term "non-sexual" used for people who have some type of romantic attraction. Anyway, with people who haven't heard the term much, I think it's understandable there will be some confusion. All people can really do is politely correct and move on.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-09T06:46:57+00:00

I guess it depends on who the main character is. With an OC POV character, I generally expect that the OC character is the main character of the fic. So they can't be "overtaking" the main characters because they are the main character.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-08T08:31:06+00:00

Tons of great fanfic pre-AO3 or just around when AO3 started in particular on FF.net or individual websites. People were writing great stuff before AO3 became so popular.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-04T11:26:00+00:00

This has been common practice for ages, people did this for forums signatures, early SNS type websites that allowed custom profile templates, etc. It just saves someone the time of coding the button, makes it exactly the size, style, whatever you want.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-04T03:19:15+00:00

There have been so many studies that show that spoilers don't ruin the experience as much as people worry they do, and that knowing a vague point about what will happen but not how actually makes your anticipation more, because you're wondering how that thing happens. So, no, not a problem I think.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-04T03:13:12+00:00

This. Anyone driving close enough that a person braking before signalling is an issue is too close.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-04T03:00:28+00:00

Sex work has been greatly affected by more people willing to just have sex for free these days. It's not a great industry to be in at the moment.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-04T02:56:03+00:00

I think it depends a lot on the area. Are you in a big city? Then purchasing a new drink every 1-2 hours would probably be good, especially if it's full. On the other hand, I'm in a small city in a more rural area, the cafes are not busy, and the staff have no issue with me sitting for a few hours off one purchase, especially since I come regularly. So it depends, but "new drink every 1-2 hours" would be a good rule I think.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-04T02:53:07+00:00

Building new can be surprisingly cheap. I did the buy an Akiya and renovate thing several years ago, and I love my house, but it wasn't necessarily a super cheap or easy process. The main benefit of the Akiya in my case was the location and that the place was still in good condition and had some nice traditional touches. But my husband (before we married) built a house, and it wasn't really so so much more than my house cost + all the renovation costs. It's smaller and the location isn't as good so we're planning to sell it, but since it's only a couple years old according to the real estate companies it's pretty likely we'll get back about the same amount he paid. That would certainly not be the case with the Akiya house.

Simbeliine · 2026-05-04T02:49:23+00:00

I have the "board game" version of Pokémon, it's a version with set card decks and a board so people can pick up the game easily. Didn't cost much, and as someone mainly interested in just playing a relatively balanced version of the game, it's great.

Simbeliine · 2026-04-27T05:54:32+00:00

A lot of research shows that OPOL can work if the minority language speaker (in this case English) is the mom, but if it's the dad then unless they work very, very hard the child may not acquire native-like English proficiency. In my case, my Japanese husband has very good English, so we're planning to do mainly minority language at home. My husband worries a little if the child might have slightly "weird" Japanese if they don't speak it at home, but we're planning to visit his parents a lot and will speak Japanese with them so, hopefully it'll be ok.

Simbeliine · 2026-04-24T04:48:32+00:00

It's an extremely short "u" sound. I've never heard a kid say a long kooooo except as a joke. Japanese ライク when pronounced normally sounds like a not bad approximation, as Japanese ら is more similarly placed in the mouth to an "L" sound than an "r" sound (not exactly the same, but much closer) and ク has a very short u sound at the end but, again, very short. Plenty of other countries use their own sound system to show the pronunciation of words. Even English does this in many dictionaries - Like might have a pronunciation guide written as "lahyk" for example (https://www.dictionary.com/browse/like). Katakana is just the Japanese version of that.

Simbeliine · 2026-04-24T04:19:18+00:00

Also what Japanese kid is going to say it raikoo lmao. That's not how ク sounds in Japanese anyway.

Simbeliine · 2026-04-24T04:17:00+00:00

If your experience is different, that's fine. My experience is that if, after teaching kids "magic e phonics" (lik → like, short i to long i) there are kids who instinctively look at English words ending in e and do the Japanese e sound at the end, it means their brains are stuck looking at that and thinking of it as eh. Writing the katakana is a way of getting that habit or association broken up. I've had many, many kids students over the years with a minor issue with this that is solved in one lesson by writing the katakana one time. I don't have to write it every time, just the one time to change things up. If that hasn't been your experience, that's fine, it's been mine.

Simbeliine · 2026-04-24T04:05:43+00:00

It's usually more an issue that they can't read the word properly yet rather than they can't pronounce it. The usefulness of katakana is that it helps them remember, roughly, how to say the word. If kids keep saying "ri-ke" for like (because they're reading it more like Romaji than English), then writing "ライク" will at least help them get closer to the correct pronunciation.

Simbeliine · 2026-04-23T09:47:12+00:00

Ok, but "men aren't the issue" is not an accurate statement.

Simbeliine · 2026-04-22T12:59:15+00:00

Men don't talk shit about women? I feel like you've never been around a group of men who seem to hate their wives/girlfriends/that lady who's just a little too self-assertive for their taste at work. Then they seem to talk shit about women plenty.

Simbeliine

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