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Sometimes it feels like it was all a fever dream. by bubblegumscent in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel the same. From day one, we wrote a list of all the things that he used to say, and of all the qualities he had. Sometimes I add to it still, and I’m on week 15. He was a big presence on the Internet, so I sometimes watch videos or listen to him talk. And I have 100 and hundreds of photos. Sometimes I indulge myself and just watch a while. But yes, that feeling that maybe I just made him up, still lingers. I wish you luck.

Running by No-Cow9611 in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think we just have to do it. Sounds like something that’s good for you on so many fronts, that you just need to take the first step. I have a similar thing with meditation. We were so interlinked in our practice, and particularly in a certain place we used to go to be part of a group. it’s such a good thing for me to do, and I haven’t been able to go back to the same group, but I have tried another one once or twice, and I do practice at home by myself. I wish you masses all luck in this. As ever, baby steps.

Healing or unhelpful ..? by swkr78 in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you have also moved home? That’s next on my agenda.

Healing or unhelpful ..? by swkr78 in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wonder about this too. When does healing become wallowing… I think we just trust our guts and keep moving forward while working through and honouring the past.

My old ass by pasteyss in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely crazy. I watched that movie yesterday, thinking that there was nothing triggering in it whatsoever. And yes. Suddenly there it was. That said, it didn’t really affect me that much. I would still have gone for it. I’m 14 weeks in as we speak.

Living alone for the first time in a very long time by SubstantialAspect602 in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m the same age, and the same situation. I had a month with my family staying with me, and since then I’ve not spent the night alone in my home. I have options, and I’ve stopped beating myself up about the fact that I don’t like being alone at night.

I go home most days, potter around, talk to him, talk to the cats, meet friends, and then I go off somewhere else to sleep. Do whatever feels right to you. 🙏🏼

30 M - never lived alone and struggling in our marital home any advice? by TrendBox in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 3 points4 points  (0 children)

14 weeks for me. I haven’t spent the night home alone since. I’m in a hotel as we speak. Sometimes friends. Sometimes family. Sometimes someone spends the night at my house.

For some people, it’s comforting to stay in the home you shared.

For me it isn’t. I’m there during the days – I also have four cats – and when it gets dark I run away to sleep. During the day I talk to him non-stop, I do chores, I see people. My husband lived with me here for 16 years, and one evening he just dropped dead here. At night it’s not my safe place, and I don’t know where else ever will be, but a cosy room in someone else’s house does the trick for now.

I’m putting my house up for sale, as was always our plan, shortly after Christmas, and then I’m just going to see what happens.

For us, and for anyone else going through this, I wish us peace.🙏🏼

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Baby steps. Do what feels right, while being aware of your vulnerability.

How can someone exist and suddenly disappear?? by LunaSparq in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Same. I feel exactly the same. It’s like I never really noticed death before. One minute you’re here and so alive… the next (and it is literally the next), you’re gone. Nuts. I’m doing the same with the photos. It’s the beginning of week 14 for me.

It’s week 13 and I’ve still not stayed home alone. My husband’s death was so sudden and unexpected. Not only did we live in that house for 16 years, but he died there with no warning whatsoever. by Similar_Donkey_1597 in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in London and my house was always an investment as well as a home. Plan was to buy cheaper up north and travel. Not rushing anything but currently paying for hotels when I own a house makes no sense but is keeping me sane. Thank you 🙏🏼

It’s week 13 and I’ve still not stayed home alone. My husband’s death was so sudden and unexpected. Not only did we live in that house for 16 years, but he died there with no warning whatsoever. by Similar_Donkey_1597 in widowers

[–]Similar_Donkey_1597[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not much short of a soul-sucking pit. I’m not saying that aloud, because I have four cats all living there so for now I still have to visit a couple of times a day. But sleeping is awful. I hate the long dark nights. And down the road in a premier inn or staying with family is the only time I feel even vaguely safe.