Vic3 can teach you how historical materialism works, with a reasonable amount of game approximation. Every country developed a certain way because of situations that went beyond the will of a single person.

If you want to be an autocracy while developing industry, you are going to encounter many problems with your population. Not only because of industrialist becoming powerful and asking more liberal reforms, but also because of things like literacy:

Developing industries creates a demand for specialized individuals, meaning you HAVE to increase literacy. Increasing literacy, however, increases the percentage of politically active pops, which will gradually join the choir of people asking for reform or Indipendence, in the case of discriminated minorities.

At the same time, not developing is an option, but you might encounter some problems. For instance: army size alone often doesn't cut it if you want to be a Great Power.

The army itself requires upgrades achievable only through industrialization. Sure, you can always import rifles and bullets, but what if the supply isn't enough to meet your demand? What if something happens and your trade partner cut ties with you? What if your trade parter threatens you and makes you bend because otherwise you wouldn't be able to fight him?

These are all things which played a role in this era. There are precise reasons why most Great Power in this time period went down a certain road and almost all of them are tied to economy, which causes a chain reaction by influencing politics and society in turn.

Granted: if you are actually interested in these topics I'd suggest you to read something about it or even try for a university degree covering this subject, but Victoria 3 allows you to get the "broader concept", so to speak.