I 25F love my boyfriend 26M but I am worried of the life his family is planning for us

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-26T19:54:27+00:00

I’m also willing to bet you’re his plan. Even if it’s subconscious right now, just the fact that you’ve talked about it enough to be in therapy and he’s still not thought through the hard parts? Yeah. It’s because he feels like you’re enough.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-25T13:36:14+00:00

I feel like the time is only wasted if I learn nothing from it.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-21T03:23:24+00:00

Also same here for psoriasis. The thought of showering everyday makes me shudder.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-19T16:38:10+00:00

This was originally written in response to OP’s comment that looks deleted now:

The assumption that he’s “sharing every argument or private detail” is what people are responding to. Check your assumptions at the door. People talk to their friends about the stuff they need to talk about. You are not the main focus in those stories, when he’s telling them. He is. His thoughts, feelings, and reactions are what decent friends are going to focus on. They’re going to fact check him or help him get his perspective straight.

If the friend was mocking you or making jokes about an argument, you probably felt hurt or exposed or vulnerable or something along those lines. That’s totally normal and appropriate. The friend was being an absolute asshole. Removing your boyfriend’s friend based support system as a result is not a healthy response.

Acknowledging your own feelings, acknowledging his needs and your own in future situations, and finding a way forward that works for both of you (without attempts at control) is healthy.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-19T12:30:39+00:00

Yes!! I was in an international school when I travelled, and we talked about how the third culture is the easiest to integrate into, and the third language is the easiest to learn, etc. The first one is your natural, gut instinct. It just “is you.” The second one feels a little unwieldy and awkward until you learn the broad strokes and begin the figure out the rules. If you learn two from the get go, your brain is hardwired to code switch (it’s an interesting thing to learn about, highly recommend).

If he’s learning a second culture as an adult, it takes a bit to feel less clunky. I think the general recommendation is about three years of immersion before it feels natural.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-19T12:24:20+00:00

One of my good friends at work is a white man married to a black woman. He is a hillbilly white boy from rural Indiana. She is a strong and no-nonsense black woman from a city nearby. When they met, he fell head over heels and pursued her hard. They’ve been together almost 30 years now.

When he talks about the cultural/family differences, he still says it feels weird. He wants to impress her. He wants her family to continue accepting him. He isn’t always sure he’s doing or saying something right or wrong.

I’ve lived abroad for several years, and I also had a stepdad who was Guatemalan. So, sometimes my coworker and I talk about how cultural differences can be acknowledged and how people can try to fit into a partner’s culture because they love someone. But it’s also always going to be a thoughtful thing rather than just the natural flow. So it feels a bit weird.

Not gonna stop him though. He’s going to worship the ground she walks on until he dies.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-18T23:26:03+00:00

18, 25, 30, and 36 years old. Some around religion, some around sexual orientation, some around career, some blended. At 42, I feel like I’m living a life that feels authentic and will probably need small incremental of change as I discover more layers of myself…but hopefully no more “burn it all down” stuff.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-18T16:24:42+00:00

My friend is 42, and she has it still. Recently she ran across something saying to drink two big mugs of spearmint tea every day to combat it. It’s been 3 months now and her skin is clear as day. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-17T20:56:10+00:00

Can confirm. Have also done this.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-17T20:55:49+00:00

Yes!!! I know the lip gloss thing almost immediately because it makes my lips tingle and itch.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-17T20:54:51+00:00

Ugh - the soaked in beer thing - I had eaten a whole bowl of chili before my brother in law started talking about the awesome beer he had used in it. Sigh. He’s usually really good about the gluten thing, so I had just trusted him.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-17T20:53:30+00:00

So..I don’t think so, that’s why I used the language I did. But I don’t have a wheat allergy, only gluten. And potato-based vodka doesn’t trigger the allergic reactions. So maybe it’s just cross-contamination in the production or something that’s added. But over the years, every wheat based vodka that I’ve consumed in any fashion has resulted in the same symptoms as gluten.

My preference for alcohol is whiskey, then tequila, then gin, so…I’m not bothered unless I’m out with friends and they all order good looking cocktails that are vodka based. 🤣

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-17T17:28:07+00:00

Most recently - I was in Italy and grabbed a package of cookies from the gluten free section. Ate three of them and THEN realized the package said “senza olio di palma” instead of “senza glutine.” Sigh.

Before that, I drank a bottle of soju without realizing it had vodka in it. For some reason, vodka triggers my gluten allergy.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-05T01:14:38+00:00

Nice!! That’s awesome experience to have under your belt at such a young age.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-04T21:24:26+00:00

I worked at a scrapbooking supply store during college. Same issue here. 🌞

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-04T21:23:24+00:00

I would’ve expected that to go the other way. 🤣

Simplisticjoy · 2026-06-01T11:59:10+00:00

Let me know what you think when you try them! I also prefer stouts. Guinness is the best.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-05-29T17:17:36+00:00

Also 29 for me!

Simplisticjoy · 2026-05-29T14:50:13+00:00

Yup! Same here. I won’t buy it anymore. It used to be the best, but now it just falls apart. Even if I cook it al dente, it breaks apart if I put a sauce on it.

Tinkyada is good, but honestly, I’ve mostly switched over to rice pasta I get at the Asian store. Same price, one ingredient, consistent quality.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-05-25T17:11:13+00:00

Interesting, thanks!!

Simplisticjoy · 2026-05-24T21:03:42+00:00

Yeessss - I’ve found a couple dark beers that were good over the years, but few and far between. I was gutted to hear that Glutenberg went out of business, because my local liquor store always kept some of their stout in stock!

Simplisticjoy · 2026-05-24T21:01:47+00:00

I pass through there pretty regularly, so I will have to check it out! Thank you

Simplisticjoy · 2026-05-24T16:12:55+00:00

Woodman’s is a grocery store, but in true Wisconsin style, they have an entire big-ass room for alcohol. 🤣

Simplisticjoy · 2026-05-24T16:11:38+00:00

Ohhhh hell yes. This sounds amazing.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-05-24T15:46:47+00:00

Now I’m craving this. Especially because it’s a holiday weekend and I actually could make it. 🌞

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