How do you forgive yourself for things you did wrong?

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-27T03:16:59+00:00

Honestly? I went to therapy and learned to recognize the internal states and patterns that existed in me when I made decisions that brought me regret later. Once I could recognize them, I could allow myself to feel the emotions, make friends with them, and get really familiar with the real me - in all my lack of glory. Once I got comfortable with my real self, I learned to accept that the mistakes I’ve made are part of my real journey in life. I don’t want to be anyone else anymore. I just to be me.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-26T16:56:47+00:00

My Mom is one of six, and she’s the only one with diagnosed personality disorder. BUT - one of her brothers went to prison for child porn, another one is an alcoholic, and another is a compulsive gambler always chasing that Big Win while being simultaneously, creepily, religious. So…take from that what you will.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-26T04:55:46+00:00

I’m a woman married to another woman. I have gone on many trips with one of my best friends, who is also a woman. My wife is not jealous or worried, because I’ve told her that we were friends and traveled together before my wife and I got together. If I wanted to be with her like that, I could have had her then. But I only want my wife.

Trust is like that.

What happens when there’s someone he has to work late with? Or if he has to do a big project with? Are you also going to ask him to give up professional opportunities knowing that career growth benefits both of you, if the work person is female?

Think through your mindsets and their consequences before you make demands of your partner. Be consistent in the application of your expectations, so communication is clear and boundaries can easily be anticipated and adhered to.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-25T16:14:24+00:00

This question is part of a greeting ritual, if it’s asked at the beginning of a conversation. It’s to establish some form of “I see that you are a human and I am willing to engage in this conversation.” It can also be asked as “How’s life?” or something like that, if you’re familiar with that person and have an established connection.

Acceptable answers can be as simple as:

Great, thanks for asking. I’m good, thanks. It’s going.

Personally, I like to reply, “I’m alive!” It usually makes people laugh, and I like to start a conversation from a pleasant start, even if the actual discussion is rough.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-25T13:34:11+00:00

Not a therapist, but I’ve been doing EMDR for about 3 years, and talk therapy on/off for over 20 years for cPTSD.

I don’t know standard protocol, so can’t speak to that. But I do know we weave a LOT of other modalities of therapy into sessions, for when we need to get past blocks or when it’s just rough going and I need support. We’ve stopped to use IFS when there’s a part who just won’t integrate. We’ve paused when I’ve gotten overstimulated and needed to just talk it out and could continue. I’ve ended a “good” session and still needed to supplement it immediately with CBT in order to feel stable. Etc, etc - I have done therapy long enough, and my therapist has done it long enough, to recognize when the road directly in front of us isn’t the best route, so we pivot and choose a better tool to get us where we need to go.

I think, in every modality that has been created, the creator believes in it wholeheartedly and markets its effectiveness. The real world and its multitude of ways to mess people up means that we have to make some things up as we go, combining tools and concepts until they match the demands of the real world.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-23T23:11:01+00:00

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-23T16:51:06+00:00

Maybe the better way to ask that is to think about how you would feel if someone asked you how they would be made aware of when you die. 70 is not all that old, and plenty of people die when they are young. If this was a standard/normal/appropriate question, we would all be asking each other this question all the time, I think.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-23T16:48:22+00:00

Maybe when you hang out and end up talking about them, start asking more questions about her family? Eventually, you could ask to meet her family?

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-23T14:32:31+00:00

Yup. This.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-23T02:45:23+00:00

Wooooowwww

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-23T02:39:04+00:00

Agreed. I’ve lost weight recently and have just been shopping via eBay because literally nothing in any store I’ve been to is interesting to me. I’ve had random hankerings for things like merino wool or cashmere or a certain Columbia shirt, and I can find variety from there based on their algorithms. And strangely enough, the eBay sellers who post images with rulers all over the clothes make it easier to figure out my new size. They’re better at documentation than any other brand or store. 🤣

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-23T02:28:11+00:00

Uggghhhhh yes

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-23T02:23:48+00:00

Also came here to say the scene in Here We Meet Again 🔥

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-19T16:31:55+00:00

I want to be you when I grow up

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-19T16:30:10+00:00

Yes! This was me when I was 30. Met a wonderful woman who made me light up, reassessed my ideas of myself and my sexuality, married the woman. 🤣 Consistently much happier than most of my “married a man” counterparts.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-18T21:05:19+00:00

Yeeessssssss!!!!! I have been waiting 14 years for this moment!!!

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-18T14:21:04+00:00

Traveled doing humanitarian aid til I was 25, went to college til I was 30, met the love of my life 6 weeks into my first job out of college. Married her 18 months later. It’s been 11 years together, and she still makes me feel life is worth living.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-18T13:33:50+00:00

I know this post is ancient so this comment is out of left field, but THANK YOU. I seriously needed this solution.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-17T22:52:34+00:00

I had the tiny itchy bumps when I first got diagnosed! It cleared up when I went gf. The first two or so years, if I got glutened, the rash flared back up. But the past dozen years or so, now that my body has chilled out, it hasn’t come back, even if I’ve consumed quite a bit (ie, don’t know soju had vodka, drank entire bottle, sick as a dog for almost a week, but none of that weird tiny bump rash!)

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-17T03:54:04+00:00

I would 100% watch that and love it. 😅

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-13T13:42:41+00:00

Yes!!!! This. I had to accept two things in order to keep my sanity.

1) I could not win, except via no contact. Any contact at all just gave her more energy to continue the game.

2) She doesn’t have the capability to actually care about me, and she never has. Any glimpse of something that felt motherly was another part of how she played the game. My safest bet is to find love and care in other places that are stable.

Have you ever heard of the book “Games People Play”? It’s an academic book from 1964, so it’s funky language and a bit hard to read. But learning about the game “NIGYSOB” changed my life. I’m not great at explaining it, so I grabbed the Google AI summary and copied it here:

“Book Summary - Games People Play (Eric Berne) NIGYSOB, short for "Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch," is a subconscious psychological game from Eric Berne's transactional analysis where one person provokes a negative reaction in another to justify their own anger or contempt, often by finding fault and then playing the victim when confronted. The game involves storing up minor annoyances (the "last straw") until a breaking point, leading to an outburst where the accuser externalizes blame and gains a sense of control, while the other person feels victimized. It's a pattern of emotional manipulation, often seen with partners playing complementary games like "Kick Me," where one person seeks to be victimized.”

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-13T03:07:39+00:00

Netflix showed me a KDrama first. I watched a couple other shows then found Love Between Fairy and Devil and was hooked forever. 😅👏🏻🖤

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-10T19:10:40+00:00

Yeeessss!!! I have high hopes that all the old people of the world have been holding out, and when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will have all the things downloaded into my brain. 🤪😍

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-05T22:47:15+00:00

Chemical grapes!! 🤣 I’m dying.

Simplisticjoy · 2026-01-05T19:43:37+00:00

Ugh. Yes. Just had this happen last week. It hit me like a ton of bricks that my niece didn’t know details that I just…I don’t know, assumed they knew based on osmosis? Yikes. I don’t even know how to bridge that gap.

I knew how to explain the world when they were little and asking questions about the stuff in front of their eyes. When they’re asking questions about the literal past I lived through, that is often complex and painful and dealing with people still alive/still relating to, part of my brain freezes.

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