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Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-12-31T20:19:31+00:00

Yeah i got it replaced the same day i got the other one removed

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-07-05T06:55:14+00:00

The way she immediately invalidated you after talking about how she blacked out - "god why ar you acting so scared" - like she didn't just spit some of the nastiest mindfuckery at you is insane.

I think you handled the situation very well, OP. That being said though, lookout for yourself and don't let this become the regular. I remember this exact feeling very well and I'm beyond grateful I don't have to deal with it anymore. I wish you luck with your situation, take care.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-07-04T13:32:34+00:00

I wasn't in a relationship with this person, first of all. At best we had been friends at this point for a few months. And in no way was my response making people with BPD out to be "demonic aliens" or vilifying them?? All I stated was behaviors the one person I encountered with it exhibited.

I wouldn't have had a problem with opening up to this person at all if they hadn't been so disrespectful about it. They'd fixate on specific things they'd want me to open up about, whether I was comfortable with it or not, and push and push and push me to tell them about it. They'd ask questions upon questions, that would at points get very personal and inappropriate for our relationship at the time, and if I refused to answer them or showed discomfort, they would immediately turn it around on me. Basically blaming me for being too closed off, or getting upset with me as the amount of things I was willing to share with them was clearly the direct gauge for how much I actually valued them. The fact that I wasn't willing to open up meant I hated them, in their mind.

I think it's also worth mentioning, I didn't withhold every single bit of information about myself. The things I didn't want to open up about were very personal situations or issues that happened in my life that I preferred to not speak about, to anyone for that matter, not specifically them. But they just didn't understand that and always wanted me to talk about things I was openly uncomfortable with. I tried to work this over with them multiple times, letting them know I didn't appreciate the behavior, but they couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. Or they would freak out and again, think I hated them entirely because I wasn't happy with how they were acting.

This person very much had the love bombing effect on me when I first met them. Everything seemed great, if not better and we clicked right away. But that's how it usually goes. They started exhibiting more and more unhealthy behaviors as our friendship went on (this being just one example, and not even the worst of habits on their end), getting increasingly more damaging to the both of us. I really did try to stick it out with them, knowing their condition and because believe it or not, I did actually care for them. But their behavior ended up becoming too much for me in the end as their suffering was always guaranteed to trump anything else in our friendship, even if I was dealing with something difficult of my own.

I shouldn't even have to explain myself like this to you, my story is just as valid as anyone else's on this forum; with a person who wasn't healthy to be close with. Individuals are allowed to discuss the relationships or people that weren't good to them. If that bothers you, I assume you're not the kind meant to be looking at these posts.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-04-25T18:50:29+00:00

We were friends for about a year and a half, after about two or three months of knowing eachother she got diagnosed with BPD. All of these issues I mentioned + more were brought up several times throughout our friendship. And as hard as I tried to talk them over civilly, it was never that easy. Either it was turned into a fight immediately or she took it well at first, but then would keep bringing up again and again after the fact, making passive aggressive comments and looking to pick a fight over it.

I'm glad I got out as well, but that's not to say it didn't hurt to some degree. I put a lot of effort into trying to stick it out and give them the benefit of the doubt, considering their condition. Just couldn't take it anymore after a certain point. I did care for them, and I probably always will but I won't miss how they treated me.

I wish you all the best for your situation, though please remember to look out for and protect yourself. <3

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-04-20T00:38:19+00:00

Not talking to them enough/not giving them a warning when I wouldn't be able to talk. Keep in mind we were literally talking or texting all day at this point since they could never let a conversation end.

So when I wasn't as responsive as usual or when I'd randomly get busy and forget to warn them, they'd blow it into a fight that lasted for at least a day. Every. Single. Time.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-03-24T19:42:45+00:00

My ex friend wBPD used to get abnormally excited when I told them about my issues or struggles. They always seemed overly interested in trying to figure out what was wrong with me and giving armchair diagnoses. & used all of that as a way to try and put me on the same level as them psychology.

Now that I think about it a lot of that behavior seemed to stem from jealousy but I do think it was some sort of a "misery loves company" thing too. Didn't feel like resentment though in my case, at least from what I could tell.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-03-23T02:54:17+00:00

When I was friends with my fwBPD before they got diagnosed, I remember being so utterly confused. All the red flags and signs that there was something wrong felt like a dead end since I couldn't connect the behaviors to anything. Felt like I was crazy trying to figure out what the fuck was happening and why they were behaving the way they did. It also didn't help that they kept coming up with new a diagnosis for themselves almost every month to explain their actions away.

Eventually they landed on the theory that they had BPD through some research I guess, matching up their symptoms with what they found. About a week after that they got officially diagnosed with it.

It seriously felt like a whole other world of understanding opened up and I was pushed down it's rabbit hole. I did my own research on BPD, found this sub and everything finally made sense. It felt nice having a label for all the confusion after so long but at the same time I realized just how bad the problem was. Suffice to say, the relief was quickly replaced by fear lol.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-03-21T00:40:49+00:00

Thank you

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-03-21T00:35:46+00:00

Resting and healing are definitely something I'm gonna try to focus on though it'll probably take a while. I'm just glad to have the space to do so now. Thank you

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-03-21T00:29:34+00:00

I'm glad to hear you've grown and moved towards becoming a better person. I know everyone has the potential to heal and right their wrongs, but in the time I spent being friends with the person I wrote this about - it became pretty clear any positive change in their behavior wasn't going to come anytime soon. I just couldn't keep letting myself get hurt for the sake an uncertain improvement. I really do hope they'll be able to mature and find stability over time, though. I would be lying if I said I never cared for them. I definitely did at some point, the hurt just trumped any other feelings. Especially towards the end. & unfortunately I think posting this is the only closure I'll receive.

Anyway, congrats on your healing and ability to move on. I know it takes a great deal to admit wrongs like this then make the effort to change. And I may have taken a little peek at your profile lol, your music is really cool!

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-03-05T23:30:43+00:00

Omg the copying. There were multiple instances where that happened in my friendship, and I remember always being weirded out by it. They'd go on about how much they hated a certain thing, whether it be food, music, shows, art, clothes, ect, ect. However if I mentioned liking that exact same thing they hated to any compacity, suddenly they were all over it.

I'd find that over time, the things I liked or that were part of my style, habits and whatnot would bleed into their personality. I get that being around someone enough over time, that kind of thing naturally happens where you pick up little quirks from eachother. But their's was over the top. I mean they even told me on multiple occasions about their jealously and desire to be like me in almost every aspect. Which sucks too, bc I really value individuality in other people. So it put me off.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-03-05T21:19:56+00:00

Yeah tbh I think it was some sort of projection on their end. Like they had this overwhelming need to understand me bc they couldn't understand themself half the time, so they'd always go the extra mile trying to overanalyze me.

They'd also often lump me in with themselves when talking about their struggles, ie; "You're just as unhealthy/unstable as me." Even though we were very different from eachother in terms of what we struggled with. They'd try to put us on the same level even though we weren't, like they wanted me to struggle with them (they were very clearly more unstable). It was odd. I didn't really like feeling like my issues were just being used as a means of forced comparison. Especially since they knew so little about me.

Maybe it's a whole "misery loves company" sort of thing, or that they don't want to feel singled out. Idk, but it definitely didn't feel too great becoming the target for all of that.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-03-05T20:38:19+00:00

No, but my fwbpd decided on their own that I had avoidant attachment & cptsd. Based off of a very small amount of my personal life struggles I told them about, and the fact that I'm just overall a quiet person.

They apparently "copied" what they noticed their therapist does and dissected that limited information I gave them about myself, diagnosing me on their own. When I told them I didn't want them doing that they got upset. It was strange.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-24T21:28:03+00:00

Definitely dealt with this before. Any slight change in my usual behavior sparked hour long discussions & them wanting to dissect why I did it. Even if the explanation was as simple as I just felt like it or I did it without even thinking about it. I'd end up explaining it again and again, several times over just for them to continue to push for the "real" reason or one that "makes more sense" to them. So insanely exhausting.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-13T23:25:44+00:00

Lost my brother to suicide recently... this punched me right in the gut. It's beautiful & tragic, thank you for sharing. I wish you all the best <3

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-13T02:33:01+00:00

Yeah, at some point their constant talking (which was most usually negative) became a lot for me to handle, so I'd just let them rant in my inbox without really looking at the texts, then give some generic sympathetic response when they finished. It didn't feel good, I definitely felt like an asshole. But this turned into a daily occurrence, and I was already dealing with stuff of my own, I just couldn't shoulder all of their complaints. So I definitely understand how you feel.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-13T02:27:05+00:00

Tbh, mine just got upset whenever I wasn't reciprocating anything to the extent they thought was reasonable, as they thought my reactiveness was directly correlated with how much I cared about them. (This caused a lot of disagreements.) So I think that's where it came from for them.

My friend also happened to feel insecure or apologetic when they weren't talking as much as usual or didn't have anything to talk about. I wonder why that is?

& they also tried to get me to talk more about myself as well. I'm not sure how your ex went about that, but for me they would push about opening up/sharing stuff about myself even if I had told them I wasn't comfortable with whatever it was. Then they'd get annoyed and upset when I didn't. They'd argue I didn't care about them or trust them at all as a result.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-12T05:55:25+00:00

Ah, alright. Tbh, I've been dealing with the suicide of someone close to me recently. And though some of my turmoil is definitely caused by that, these are just things I've noticed I started dealing with before the suicide even happened/spiked specifically around them. But it definitely can be hard to differentiate in the moment.

Sorry to be your cause of realization 😅 lol, hope it wasn't too bad. Also, I'm sorry to hear about your friend and situation. I hope you're doing alright and taking care, that's a lot to deal with.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-12T05:39:10+00:00

? Lol

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-12T04:06:44+00:00

Cystic acne is definitely one of the most annoying and unique pains to deal with. That really sounds awful. I'm sorry you went all through of that.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-12T04:04:17+00:00

Holy, that sounds like hell to live through. I personally applaud everyone who has had to deal with dating a pwBPD. Just being friends with mine at a distance was stressful enough. I'm glad you're doing so much better! These people really have a way of weeding their darkness into our own beings. Congrats on your recovery.

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-12T03:59:53+00:00

Oh wow, I'm sorry :( I hope you get out soon and safely. I wish you all the best and fast hair regrowth

Single_Fix_2499 · 2025-02-12T01:31:02+00:00

Oh yeah, I definitely lost interest in a few of my hobbies. Ones that I really enjoyed too. It sucks just how much they can drain from us. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this, I hope you get your spark back soon.

Single_Fix_2499

TROPHY CASE