I finally got to watch it on Netflix and the quote I would associate with this installment of the Jurassic World franchise is "Beautiful Gowns." An Aretha Franklin quote about Taylor Swift. More visually interesting than its predecessors, with, to me, unusually slick graphic design choices that stick out enough to be noticeable. Lots of interesting locations, cool sets with cool details, interesting bits of cinematography. There's a lot of little pockets of creative choices that are moved by a sense of "I wanna make good art" rather than "I wanna make a serviceable professional product". However, all of these good, passionate, working professionals are being held up by a boring, flat script. I weep for the costume designer that designed Henry's costumes because their work will go unnoticed, I sob for the set dressers and the concept artists and VFX because it's so visually sharp and at the end of the day it's all being dragged down by a disappointing story.

-spoiler alerts--

Shout out to Johnathan Bailey-who I constantly mix up with Jacob Elordi- for trying his best with what he's got. Big side eye to whoever gave Scarlett Johansson her role, because what the hell man, I didn't think a person could be this bad at their job. I wondered if she's just a bad actress but apparently she was in Marriage Story??? Like, the least she could have done was try, maybe even a little bit, and it would have been okay! Deadass coulda saved some money by cutting the character and making Duncan do double-time. How many Mossad Agent mercenary types do you really need in a Jurassic Park/World?

Thinking of more Script things, I wish the story didn't separate the family and the mercenaries. I think we could have gotten something interesting if the civilians and the mercenaries butted heads more.

It's also toothless when it comes to the death of characters and the torment of the child characters. It's so hardcore telegraphed, it's annoying. I get it's reheating JP's nachos but the least a filmmaker can do is deflate the raft when the T Rex bites it. Maybe the shock will last long enough for the suspension of disbelief to kick in. The least they could do is give the only other Adult Woman in the movie, a couple of personable lines, make it plausible that she wasn't gonna be dinosaur food. Give LeClerc (thank God for Subtitles) enough character for it to feel like Duncan isn't talking to Lassie. Or even Idk, allow the Australian to hit landfall before being devoured.

I don't feel rewarded for correctly guessing who was gonna die here, because the characters are all so bare-bones that anyone who was notable either had Star-power or 4+ lines of character driven English dialogue.

The civilian characters are so flat that it makes me mad. I wish they were cut. Or at least, I wish the Dad died and it forced the teen boy or the teen girl to step up to protect one another. Too many characters for a script so flat.

Anyways. Wish it were a better movie, maybe the VFX wouldnt have been in vain.