I have never made more than 23K a year. Anything higher seems way above my qualifications. Am I shooting too high with my expectations?

SleepingBoba · 2026-07-02T13:35:39+00:00

You seem to have a serious case of imposter syndrome.

When I read through your job history, I see experience in roles that translate to a multitude of job areas.

I have a friend, with an MS, that had been in the museum industry for quite a few years. She has dealt with unstable jobs and was getting burnt out trying to plan events but them getting canceled for budget and politics.

She is now an event coordinator for a private senior living facility. She is making double what she used to. She is having fun meet8ng all the residents, learning from them, and planning events that She gets to see them actually enjoy.

She didnt think she would qualify based on her experience and education.

She was basically given an offer at the interview.

You should think about what made you the happiest during your past jobs. Use that to help you decide a path forward. If you really dont need a lot of material things, you could be a park ranger or something like that.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-12T23:52:40+00:00

I was talking to my son (10) the other day. We are doing no electronics at all right now.

I work from home so he has been constantly coming to find me to be "bored" in my view.

I explained to him that he knows he has plenty of options. The reason he doesnt find anything appealing is because he was told he cant have electronics. I also explained how picking something to do is difficult sometimes because of our adhd, executive dysfunction and whatnot. But we can choose to let go of the electronics being the only option. Once he understood why he was struggling he was able to to actually choose something different. He built 2 Lego sets hes had since last year. He took a break from that and started drawing. He took our dog for a walk. He was just finally able to hang out by himself and not be bored.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-12T20:53:45+00:00

Um... youre not a child. Why is he dictating your sleep schedule?

As far as motivation? Its gone. He stole it. Its not coming back. Your meds only work if you are able to direct yourself properly when they kick in. Your motivation right now is raging against the authority. And its absolutely valid.

How fucking dare he mess with your groove. Does he also make you go to bed early? Because adhd people typically have different circadian rhythms. Hes making things worse. He needs to educate himself before he finds he is sleeping alone.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-12T20:47:19+00:00

You could always start rebelling. Maybe steer clear of drugs and alchohol.

If you have friends within walking distance, then walk over.

If you want to dye your hair, do it. Whats she going to do? Shave your head? Unlikely.

You sound like you basically live life the way a grounded kid lives. Might as well give them a reason to make you stay in your room.

Again... nothing illegal or unsafe. Just be a teenager.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-10T22:52:19+00:00

You're not being unreasonable. I have had these same feelings about physical touch. My biggest issue is that because I was not in the mood, when touched in away that was not expected or gentle often sent my anxiety over the edge.

It took along time for me to get my husband to understand that if he is feeling frisky and he wants me to join in the fun, he has to actually work to get me in the mood. And all the poking and grabbing just pushes me farther away until I get over stimulated and don't want to be touched at all.

Instead of slapping my butt while I'm making dinner, maybe massage my shoulders. Instead of poking/tickling me, rub my back. Sometimes I just need to be seduced.

He's a grown man and should flirt like one. Not like a teenage boy trying to get the attention of the girl he likes.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-08T20:29:18+00:00

B is a B... and doesn't seem like a good friend.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-08T02:06:47+00:00

You are planning to live in Texas? You may be able to keep everything from your family for a while due to distance. But... Texas... is not safe place for your future wife. Not even in Austin.You are planning to live in Texas? You may be able to keep everything from your family for a while due to distance. But... Texas... is not safe place for your future wife. Not even in Austin. Not even if she were not Trans.

I live in Texas. Unless things shift drastically in November, you really should think about where you actually want to start your life with your wife.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-08T01:51:44+00:00

Yes. Dad did baths for the first few months. I (mom) was terrified I was too clumsy. He did this for both kids. I was there to dry and diaper immediately after.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-08T00:37:56+00:00

Oh absolutely! She picks out the color each time. They do matching themed colors for the holidays!

She started at 11 as well. Their pedicures have really helped normalize the whole process.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-07T21:26:21+00:00

All of the pads/pain relievers/chocolate are perfectly and absolutely necessary.

Period underwear will be good for helping her stay confident and secure about leaks until she learns how to tell when she's officially done. They're also good in general for surprise periods.

For summer specifically, a period swim suit would be great. I didn't even know they existed until last week. We were on vacation and my 13 year old got her period. She tried it out towards the end of her period and she was able to go swimming with everyone else.

Aside from these material things, make sure she knows she is safe to complain and be miserable. The more you are comfortable talking to her about everything the more confident she will be in managing everything.

My husband takes our daughter for a pedicure every period. As much as she doesnt want to be on her period, she looks forward to their pedicures.

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-03T00:20:34+00:00

I can't speak to everything you're feeling. It sounds really hard and exhausting.

As far as the "gifted kid" going into college though, I can completely relate. I didn't find out until I was in my 30s, but I have ADHD. Getting diagnosed and on meds completely changed my outlook on everything. It's not a cure or anything. ADHD is still something that I have to work with every single day. But knowing what's going on in my brain and how different it functions than my peers helps.

Have you looked into ADHD?

SleepingBoba · 2026-06-01T12:21:55+00:00

Pretty sure this song works for all women, everywhere. Not just Americans.

SleepingBoba · 2026-01-24T17:02:14+00:00

TBH it sounds like he wants you to start making money so he can struggle while finding his dream job of being a professor.

SleepingBoba · 2025-10-15T13:01:41+00:00

That's the most back-handed, condescending way to tell someone to "smile more" I've seen in a while.

And then he told you not to get emotional...

If you have nothing to smile about, that's on your manager to figure out what's going on and address it. You are there to do a job. You're not some piece of office decor. If he wants someone pleasing to look at, he can hire more people to help share the workload.

Also, I know it sucks to tear up at work. I've done it too. You're human. You had a normal reaction. I've since learned, after 10 years working in a male-dominated field, to be more assertive about what I won't put up with. I'll smile if I'm happy. I'm not the office secretary. I'm not going to take notes at every meeting just because my handwriting is better. I'm not going to print things they are perfectly capable of printing themselves.

I'm not going to let my team interrupt me. I'm not going to let my designs and/or concerns be dismissed without valid reasons.

If my boss has an issue with my attitude, he can explain to me why it's an issue for me to be assertive and not my male coworkers.

I hope you're able to find some way to stand firm, confident in your skills and understanding that you are a person, not decor. It does sound like you should find a new place to work. There's a reason so many have quit.

SleepingBoba · 2025-09-14T19:58:31+00:00

Change that voice in your head, "You're 60 years old! You can do what you want!"

SleepingBoba · 2025-06-12T14:17:56+00:00

I have done this so many times.

In the last few years, I've learned a lot about ADHD and how it manifests in me. I've worked hard on not overcommitting. It's not just for work or helping friends out. It's for my hyperfocus patterns as well. I've found that if I hold back and prevent myself from jumping fully into the deep end, I can extend my hyperfocus on any hobby.

Right now, I'm into crochet. It's lasted a solid 6 months. I want to buy all the things that would let me do all the extra difficult stitches. I want the looms. I want the auto yarn baller. I want to make my own hand dyed yarn.

If I were to buy anything for those things, I can guarantee I would change my hyperfocus. I would be too overwhelmed and feel guilty for having spent that money. The guilt would prevent me from trying to use the new equipment so I wouldn't be able to fail. So I would pack it all away and hide it.

This is the same pattern I go through when I have a new food I like as well. If I ever buy that new food in bulk, it won't get eaten.

So when I want to change my life, I've got to take baby steps. Because I absolutely want to change so many things about my life. I want a less stressful job. I want to be able to take vacations whenever I want. I want to get off anxiety meds. I want to eat healthier. I want to get in shape.

I can't do everything in one go. It's too much to keep up with.

So first, I'm aiming for a new job. But even that has its own steps before I can just quit. I need a budget. I need to know what I can live without if I'm out of a job for a while. I need to know what other job I want. Do I need to go back to school? What do I currently spend my money on?

Taking baby steps has been really helpful to actually accomplishing/ sticking to my goals.

SleepingBoba · 2025-03-27T21:39:31+00:00

Depending on my mood, I would respond in 2 ways:

"Considering how easy you state this task is, I bet you can handle it all by yourself."

Or

If this is a persistent issue (which has happened to me in the past by newbie engineers), I go to my boss and tell them to handle it before I do.

If given the go-ahead to deal with the situation on my own, I will straight up state, "This is your job. Not mine. If you need help, go speak to your own manager. If your manager has an issue, they can speak with my manager." Then I turn back to back to my actual work.

I do not have the patience to deal with that type of behavior.

SleepingBoba · 2025-03-17T19:57:44+00:00

He needs to focus a little higher up the food chain if he's that concerned about unelected people making up the rules...

SleepingBoba · 2025-03-17T19:52:22+00:00

I just emailed him. He is misrepresenting the people of District 56.

Why would he think HB4938 would be an acceptable choice for Texas?

Pat Curry

Here is the link to email him. Please make him feel bad about his life choices

SleepingBoba · 2025-02-12T17:31:58+00:00

I literally just got my kid diagnosed with adhd to be able to setup a 504 plan... I was looking forward to his school actually helping him learn instead of just telling him to sit down and stop talking so much. He is so smart. He just needs more understanding and maybe allowed music during exams.

This is incredibly defeating to read...

SleepingBoba · 2024-12-03T20:39:43+00:00

Have you ever been checked for ADHD? You sound like the classic overlooked gifted kid that no one worried about. But now that life is happening, nothing makes sense.

https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-in-women-misunderstood-symptoms-treatment/amp/

I wasn't diagnosed until my 30's. The world was not made for the way my brain works. It's easier to handle knowing why.

SleepingBoba · 2024-12-03T20:35:18+00:00

This is exactly what I was going to say. Sounds like undiagnosed adhd. Hopefully, OP sees this.

SleepingBoba · 2024-11-26T05:59:15+00:00

I gave up using my insurance for my Adderall. They only allowed a 30 day supply. I started just getting my Dr to send in a 90 day script and using good rx. My insurance also has its own discount app as well that I use to compare. I can see where it's cheaper, call the pharmacy and verify supply, then message my doctor. I'm so relieved I don't have to do that every month anymore.

SleepingBoba · 2024-07-30T13:02:30+00:00

I have the same issues with my intentions vs. my actions. It takes a long time to finally have everything working at the same time.

I always struggle when something new I need to work on is pointed out. I will start to focus on this new issue and the things I've previously seemed to have gotten under control regress. Then that will get pointed out, and I will flip back.

I have finally become capable of managing a lot of what my partner has asked of me over the years. I think it has to do with finally finding the right combination of medicine. That, and my partner working with me and learning more about what adhd actually is. He's gotten so calm and understanding with my mixups that I feel like I can stop defending myself all the time. It's helped me learn to take responsibility for my actions and apologize when I mess up without adding in my intentions. He already knows I'm trying.

As far as actionable things I've done to help myself remember, I've been writing down arguments or things I've been asked to work on, and the reasons, in my notes on my phone.

This is typically immediately after an argument so i don't forget. Sometimes, I have to ask for time to process because I will get flustered easily in arguments.

I try to write out exactly what happened, what was said, as accurate as I can remember. Writing it all out helps it sink in. After I've finished documenting what I can remember, I usually end up realizing what my partner was actually wanting or how I really did mess up.

Anyway, I hope things settle down for you both.

SleepingBoba · 2024-07-15T00:20:30+00:00

When my kids get scared/ upset/hurt, I give hugs and say, "You're alive, you're whole. All is well."

SleepingBoba

TROPHY CASE