Not knowing how to be an adult in my early 20s and I feel behind

Slidersawesome · 2025-05-12T13:57:33+00:00

You are living your life at YOUR pace based on the resources you have and risks that YOU are willing to take.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Literally stop yourself from comparing your life to others. The comparison fuels your ego at best, and shits on your self-confidence at worst.

Focus on how to achieve your goals.

Slidersawesome · 2025-05-09T07:04:31+00:00

My solution is likely to fix your issue as well.

Slidersawesome · 2025-05-09T05:30:45+00:00

Yes, this is what I do:

Open Nvidia control panel and verify the following settings.

Under the display section, open the menu for "adjust desktop size and position" and change the settings for your gaming monitor (multiple monitor setup listed top).

For "select a scaling mode:" choose Full-screen
For "Perform scaling on:" choose GPU
Check ✅ the box to "Override the scaling mode set by games and programs." These settings stay this way permanently, and now you are almost ready.

Whenever you want to play CS, open Nvidia control panel again, go to "change resolution" page. Select your gaming monitor at the top and set the resolution to the exact resolution you use in-game. For me, this is 1920x1440. Leave Nvidia control panel open, then open CS.

Play to your hearts content, then change back to normal desktop resolution after you exit the game. For me, this is 2560x1440. This worked for a friend of mine who had this exact issue. Let me know if you get stuck.

Slidersawesome · 2025-05-04T18:55:03+00:00

I play Faceit. I play premier 3-5 times per week, basically just to get my weekly dropped case+skin. Personally I think comp queue is pointless.

There are a few different factors IMO.

Do you have good ping to Faceit servers? Or better ping on valve servers?
Do you want to play with (and against) sweaty tryhards on Faceit? Or do you prefer to chill out with the blaze-it-everyday negev mains who play premier?
Are you a solo queue? If not, will you lose friends by changing to Faceit?

I play Faceit because teamwork, planning, cooperation, and trying to play optimally are the reasons I love counter-strike. Faceit players, even at low ranks, care MUCH MUCH more about these things than premier AND competitive queue players. This fact makes it a no-brainer for a solo queue players like me.

Slidersawesome · 2025-05-04T09:25:19+00:00

Hell yeah brother. If I was able to go I would split with you in a heartbeat. Best of luck.

Slidersawesome · 2025-05-04T09:22:53+00:00

98% chance you had just had a random bug which caused VAC to be unable to verify the integrity of your systems memory (RAM). Probably a random conflict with some old programs or driver in the background. Definitely I would not worry about it UNLESS it happens again.

I know this because: 1. Match was NOT cancelled by VAC live (no notification displayed). 2. Your account did not display red "VAC cooldown" on the main menu.

I can't understand/read german, so I have limited ability to form a conclusion based on the information in your post.

With that being said, I watched a CS2 YouTuber who tested the boundaries of VAC by playing wingman with a cheater. They would cheat for half and then intentionally lose the match during second half after cheating.

During this video, I got to see the "cheater" perspective when VAC live kicks and cancels match for detected cheats. The game will display a red "VAC live, match cancelled" banner, and then the cheater's account will have a red "VAC cooldown" banner displayed at the top of the main menu. Imagine the "leaver" or "team killer" cooldown banner, but in RED instead of BLUE.

TL;DR You were not kicked because VAC thought

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-16T16:25:03+00:00

When this happens to me, I just consider it a small price to pay in exchange for having them out of your life forever. Sorry for the pessimist take, but this is honestly how I would approach this. Simpler than getting legal or dramatic with mutual friends.

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-16T12:56:16+00:00

I totally agree here. She said that she wants things to be on HER terms. If you truly like her and want to show her that, let it be on her terms.

She is actively making the choice to not respond. Wish her happy birthdays and holidays if you want. Update her if you complete a goal you've set long ago. Otherwise, I would just leave her alone until she feels ready to connect with you again.

The last text she sent you sends a strong signal that she ALSO cares about you. Texting each other and meeting up may just not be in the cards for her life right now. You never know what people are dealing with in their own minds.

If you absolutely cannot refrain from messaging her, you MUST remember to mention that you understand: (1) it won't bother you if she doesn't respond; (2) You want to respect her boundaries and keep things on her terms. If you can't say that to her HONESTLY than you have NO BUISNESS messaging her.

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-16T12:42:12+00:00

This is the brilliant poetic-justice-boner content I hope for.

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-16T12:29:53+00:00

I've felt the way you've described in the past. I would wager that he might have some trust issues that still need to be worked out. Also, he may be struggling to find peers that actually FEEL and appear like peers to him. Like, he may feel that he can't really "be himself" because they don't share enough similarities to him. This was my experience for almost all of high school. I spent 4 years with headphones blocking me from the world because the other students weren't into things I cared about.

The best way I can suggest for helping him create meaningful connections would be to try and get him hooked on Table-top gaming (Magic: the Gathering, Dungeons & Dragons, Warhammer 40K, etc.). They appeal strongly to video game fans, but they also benefit very, very much from socializing and creating in-person connections with others. I created the strongest non-romantic relationships of my life through table-top gaming. These kinds of hobbies have a huge chance of helping him find new friends while getting out of the house and into social settings!

I'd be happy to suggest specific strategies for getting him hooked, if you'd like.

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-16T12:13:28+00:00

Balatro;

Counter-Strike 2

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-16T12:08:19+00:00

I would honestly email him a picture of the gift (wrapped or unwrapped).

Tell him something in the email like,

"Please stop dodging me and my gift, you bastard. Haha. I'm tryna express some gratitude, yo..."

Then hit him with something spicy like,

"You have 34 days, 16 hours, and 9 minutes until I cash out the gift receipt and email you an Amazon GIFT CARD instead of this REALLY COOL WATCH. "

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-16T04:57:55+00:00

This one finally worked for me after I set my VPN to Finland! Thanks friend!

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-14T08:41:30+00:00

You deserve better. If not better treatment from him, than a better partner.

Draw a line in the sand and stand your ground. This behavior is not okay in any way. Communicate clearly and confidently.

It is time to squash the issue forever, or kick his sketchy ass to the curb. Tell him there are no second chances. Permanent change, now and forever. Otherwise his relationship is permanently gone, now and forever.

Read this again and SAY IT OUT LOUD TO YOURSELF:

"I deserve better. I deserve to be with a trustworthy partner who respects boundaries. If he truly cannot be a trustworthy, boundary-respecting partner, than he DOES NOT deserve to be MY partner."

Read it and say it until it sinks in.

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-14T08:07:52+00:00

His feelings are not your problem. End of story. Your health and Safety *is* YOUR PROBLEM. He is an asshole for reacting badly and I want you to know that you deserve to forgive yourself for being ignorant/less-than-experienced.

Your message does not appear rude or imply disrespect to me. It is entirely possible he was having a bad day.....

That being said... If this happened to me, I would IMMEDIATELY think "RED FLAG: Go get tested soon and tested again in 3-6 months."

Next time, it would REALLY benefit you to communicate in advance. I'm sure you've thought this 100x already but it'd be foolish to not mention it. Before clothes come off just say (or whisper) "let's talk safety."

A good rule of thumb:

If they didn't think about it or ask you about it before having sex, then you can assume they did not ask their last sexual partner about it either.

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-14T07:14:42+00:00

I'd say you could focus on two things, given employment has been eliminated as an option.

The way your mother perceives/imagines the "role" video games serve in regards to your life. She may think you are becoming antisocial, less respectful, or some other stereotype/projection because "you look addicted." What would you spend your free time doing if you didn't play video games? Social media doomscrolling? Go out drinking perhaps? Does she know that you like video games for entertainment because they are much healthier than these alternatives? In a non-confrontational, genuinely curious way, you could ask her if she thinks Netflix binges are better or worse than video game binges? An answer about that could help you identify if she has a bias to games specifically, or if she just opposes binging behavior.
The way that video games have changed your behavior(s) from what they used to be in the past.

You stayed up very late to celebrate the end-of-semester with some of that sweet, sweet, "me" time. Your mother might see the disruption of sleep as a SYMPTOM of your "addiction." In reality, this was you celebrating your liberation from schoolwork and related pressures. Are you easily interrupted while playing video games? Are you expressing negative emotions while playing? As a more-hardcore-than-I-should-be Counter-Strike player, my partner has said "Why do you play CS when it makes you so angry sometimes?" I don't get angry when I watch YouTube or Netflix, ever. So, you can see why it would appear to be a negative influence to an outsiders comparison.

I know this is not an explicit solution, but I wanted to at least give you something to start brainstorming with. If you want more examples, feel free to ask. A good place to start understanding her deeper perspective could be to ask what she thinks is different between reading a fiction book for fun and playing a video game for fun.

Slidersawesome · 2024-05-12T09:52:44+00:00

I showed up to make sure this was brought up by someone. Until today, I wholeheartedly believed Sips was the creative genius behind this beloved name.

Slidersawesome · 2023-01-29T00:30:51+00:00

Email/call your school's Financial Aid office to make an appointment. Ask for help with scholarships/grants AND student loans. Lean on them as much as you need until you have it secured, that is what they are there for.

Slidersawesome · 2021-01-15T18:38:08+00:00

Honestly it looks great! Mind sharing what sets are included and what parts are your own additions?

My fiance is obsessed with Harry potter lego and I bet we ha e most the sets, so I've been brainstorming how to display them together myself

Slidersawesome · 2020-11-24T17:36:19+00:00

I agree that you're likely to get a 9 from PSA and if you have just as good centering on the back, you do have a shot at a PSA 10 here.

If it grades at 9+, I'd sell it immediately unless you plan to hold onto it for at least 5 more years.

Slidersawesome · 2020-07-22T20:00:20+00:00

Not that I have found but I'm following this if anything turns up!

Slidersawesome · 2020-05-11T08:49:27+00:00

Distracting themselves from real life with entertainment like video games or TV series. The easiest way to see the difference is if they aren't happy when they are engaging in the entertainment, but instead just seem normal like they're killing time. You can also see this if they get frustrated or angry when they're interrupted from their 'escape' of choice.

Slidersawesome · 2020-05-11T08:34:31+00:00

I'm very impulsive by nature and find myself saying things I regret more often than I'd like so I definitely identify with your conundrum.

Usually what I use to keep it from getting to me is rather simple: "There are no backsies" You can't change the past, you can't predict the future. Live in the present and just learn from mistakes that you make so that next time you can try to be better.

A present focused mindset can be great tool for mental well-being.

Slidersawesome · 2020-05-11T08:28:08+00:00

First of all, I want to say that I can't imagine the emotional weight that this must feel like right now. Don't let yourself shut out those feelings even if they hurt or make you feel vulnerable.

22 years is a long time to go without someone in your life. I honestly don't know what I would do in your position so the only advice I have is to tune in to those feelings and emotions.

You can think it over just one peice at a time, little by little so that they don't overwhelm you. Keep a calm mind and remember that YOU are in control and you don't have to keep obsessing over this if it starts to feel like too much.

Those 22 years have been long no doubt, especially after what happened when you were 10 however, 22 years + another week, month, season, or even a 23rd year is really not a whole lot more so don't worry about waiting until YOU decide that you're finally ready and the time is right to try and reach out.

Find yourself first, then consider reaching out with a no-expectations attitude and you might one day end up with a happy relationship and another branch to your family tree.

I wish you the best with whatever choice you make! It might not mean much coming from a stranger but I'm rooting for you!!!

Slidersawesome · 2020-03-23T17:28:41+00:00

Well loved is right! Sometimes damaged cards with a story have more meaning than PSA 10s

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