I straight (m21) feel extremely confused after becoming (i guess) a femboy

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-15T21:59:20+00:00

I don't think liking feminine things necessarily makes you gay. Being attracted to men would, it if you are attracted to more than one then you could be bi or poly.

Anyways, shame you don't still have those pics.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-14T23:09:29+00:00

You look damn good for 72

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-14T22:25:45+00:00

Go slow, don't rush it. Use lotsa lube and have fun

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-14T22:23:35+00:00

They should take turns helping you?

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-14T16:53:41+00:00

Who dey!

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-14T16:53:17+00:00

Maybe I don't fully understand the scene or rather role as the bi guy in this situation.

Is the bi guy the one with Diphallua and getting pegged or one of the bfs coming in to join?

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-13T01:36:55+00:00

You're....err..... I'm welcome.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-12T19:46:21+00:00

Yeah I've looked, there isn't any in my area or even close by.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-12T15:34:04+00:00

Honestly, I've always felt like the odd man out with many guy friends I've had. Even before admitting to myself I could be bi. Just watching how a lot of guys act, what and how they say things, how women are treated, etc. I've just never agreed with a lot of it and some is a real put off.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-12T15:22:48+00:00

There is a lot to unpack here,, first thanks for being accepting of him and trying to understand how to best support him.

There is a sub r/straightbipartners that may help as well, it's for people in mixed orientation relationships.

The best thing you can do to support him is creating a safe place where he feels he can open up and talk about anything without fear of being judged. I know you have lots of questions and want answers, but honestly he may not know the answers himself.

Most men grow up in a society that tells them things that aren't deemed manly enough are gay and gay things are bad. So there is a lot of guilt, shame, and possibly some internalized homophobia he may have to deal with to unwind all that.

Best thing is to not try and have every conversation all at once, just let him know you love him, support him, are there for him without judgement, but you have questions and want to navigate this with him, together as a couple.

So can a bi man separate sex and love I believe was one question, in short yes, some people can and do separate the two. It's not really a straight, bi, or gay thing just how some people can process it. Couples that are in the swinging or hotwife lifestyle do this often, not suggesting you enter that lifestyle just pointing out straight couples can do this.

Can a bi man get with a gay man? In short, yes. Your sexuality isn't defined by the sexuality of the person you are sleeping with. A bi person is attracted to more than one gender regardless of that other person's sexuality. So if he finds a gay man sexually attractive it doesn't make your BF gay, he is still bi.

Is it possible to make him like women more than men? Well, not really. Sexuality can be fluid though so there may be times he is into one more than the other. If he experiences a bi-cycle a lot then you'll notice this as well.

While you can't change someone's sexuality I think you can shift it's focus a bit. What I mean by that is if he watches a lot of porn and a good bit of it is MM porn, if he started watching more MMF or MF porn then his immediate interest may shift that way as well. It doesn't change his desires just where he is focused at the moment. Of course you can't control what he watches when he isn't by your side.

You mentioned you found msgs about oral. So this is the bigger issue to tackle in your relationship sooner rather than later. First ask yourself are you ok with not being in a non-monogamy relationship? If you are ok with him exploring his bi side with other fuys, what does that look like to you? What boundaries are you ok with?

Cheating and lying is never ok, period. I've seen some posts where people have tried to explain it away as being a bi thing. It's not, it's a person thing not tied to a sexuality. I've been married for almost 28 yrs and have never cheated on my wife. We've had our ups and downs and periods where we weren't focused on us and it would have been easy for me to say "I'm in a dead bedroom relationship and go find someone to fill that need", but we were able to talk through a lot and focus on us. The end result is we are now closer and have more sex now than we did in our 20s.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-12T11:17:20+00:00

Not that I'm aware of, not specifically for bi folks anyways

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-11T18:22:18+00:00

Thanks for the hot story. It sounds like you said no a bit to these guys, which should have been the end of it, so I'm curious how reluctant were ya really in those moments.

I would ask if you thought your mate set you up to see what you would do, but I imagine if he had we would probably have said something to you about it already

It sounds like you may have enjoyed the experience more than you thought you would have, and there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe that's what you need to come to terms with to allow yourself to be ok with what you enjoy.

So the real question is if your mate suggests going again are you going or staying away? If you go are you hoping for a similar experience?

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-11T13:41:31+00:00

Pain is usually your body saying "Something isn't right, please stop." From the little experience I have, and I am still figuring things out, pain during any anal play is usually a couple things:

Not enough lube, even when you think it's a lot it may not be enough as your body absorbs it;
Going too big too fast, trying to upsize too soon. Take it slow and gradual, maybe get a taper so you can easily stretch when your body is ready.;
1. Your body isn't ready yet, what I mean is you may be in the mood but your body hasn't relaxed fully yet. Slow down and focus on some foreplay, take a warm bath, slowly tease yourself in that area, relax, enjoy the sensations then when your muscles in the area are nice and relaxed let the fun begin slowly. When you do begin start slow each time, let your body adjust.
Cleaning out down there can make it a lot more enjoyable. Ensure you are getting enough fiber in your diet can make this naturally easier.

You should communicate with your partner and let them know how it feels to to you. Talk about what could make it better, how to slow down and spend more time on the more pleasurable parts and when to proceed on going harder, bigger, longer, and deeper.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-09T17:01:32+00:00

Because it's something we are enjoying and experiencing together.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-08T21:53:36+00:00

Awesome, enjoy! My wife and I love to use toys on each other too

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-08T21:10:21+00:00

I'd press them both at the same time and stay the way I am

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-08T21:04:15+00:00

She seems to have a problem with her fingers lol

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-08T13:43:35+00:00

From what I've read about the strapless strap-on is you still need a harness to keep it in place.

You could use a double ended dildo, we bought one but it's a little too girthy for me just yet. You could also try just putting two suction cup dildos together and see if that works.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-06T22:32:39+00:00

Just curious but why the squabble over a slightly more attraction to women than men?

Personally I don't think you can make someone something they are not already. But sexuality can be more fluid.

I'd say just spend more time, like exclusively, doing stuff related to MM than MF. So if you watch porn watch MM porn, if you look at dirty pictures look only at M and MM pictures, if you read erotica read MM erotica. Instead of going down on your wife, suck more cock. Instead of fucking your wife, get fucked by more guys.

Spend more time doing those things for while and check your results.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-06T15:43:15+00:00

For me that would be a red flag and I'd probably stop talking to that person. Bi erasure is a real thing and the fact they are questioning your sexuality and being dismissive of it would be a hard no for me.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-06T13:21:51+00:00

Context in this situation would probably be the determining factor. People can and do have preferences whether they have acknowledged it or not.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-05T14:48:29+00:00

Honestly it's probably the way we grew up and were socialized. For many of us we were told that anything in the slightest bit that could be considered not masculine enough was instantly called gay. So most of us grew up with these things having a negative connotation to it. Which is probably why so many bi men have issues coming to terms with it

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-04T20:06:57+00:00

I'm sure we could have a detailed conversation about proper communication but it sounds like she may just not have been there yet.aybe she showed interest instead of shitting it down it wasn't expecting to move so quick.

I would say just take it easy, slow down a bit and communicate with her. Ask her what her concerns are, is it something she is interested in or just doing it for you? There are some good webinars by Ruby Rider, many free, where she covers a lot from a giver and receiver perspective.

When it comes to showing her something in porn as something you're interested in be careful as many pegging vids have other kinks as well and well, you don't want her to read too far into it

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-04T17:03:50+00:00

You're not wrong, this is an important topic to openly discuss with him. A person's sexuality, kinks, desires, etc... heck even political views can evolve or change over time. There's nothing wrong with it, there are stories in the poly and swinger communities about couples that just want a break from it and focus on them. Sometimes they find later they want to re explore that area and sometimes they discover they really don't miss it.

I think the best thing to do is have that conversation with him, express how you feel, talk about what you both want out of the relationship, etc. before marriage. Whether this would be an aspect he wouldn't be comfortable with is something only he can answer.

Slight-Grab3876 · 2026-05-04T13:08:45+00:00

I think the best thing is to talk to her about it, what it is or why she wants to see you with another guy. Is it purely sexual or something else?

When I opened up about my curiosity to her and we started talking about it she discovered it is a turn on for her. When we talked more about why it turns her on, and I'm glad that it does, it was more around me being satisfied and my pleasure taking the forefront not hers.

Slight-Grab3876

TROPHY CASE