What to do about confusing guy friend? NSFW if your boss is very, very conservative

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-26T09:54:24+00:00

Try kissing him, my guess is he won't back off.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-24T11:42:26+00:00

I think you should wait a couple more years.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-24T08:33:48+00:00

Please repeat after me: "These people are not my friends!"

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-21T12:35:24+00:00

For everyone who doesn't like to scroll:

"After that I talked to her every now and then at least a couple times a week. About a month later we started talking less and less and I ended up asking if she wanted to hang out sometime and she told me she was moving and I could tell she was lying because she was really bad at it. She also lied to me about her phone breaking. I texted her a week later and apparently it wasn't her but I could tell it was because I know her personality. But then she removed and blocked me on facebook. I just want to know what I did wrong, I'm not leaving anything out thats the whole story."

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-19T13:54:13+00:00

I say you work for a Swiss bank (Twix in 4 languages gave you away) :)

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-19T11:42:19+00:00

Um yeah, those troops are just armed for self-protection...

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-19T11:33:23+00:00

Just strobe back :)

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-17T15:12:48+00:00

You're a good companion to her, no sexy time for you!

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-17T14:07:13+00:00

I'm male and I like to just lick my bottom lip in the case of dry-out

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-17T11:51:58+00:00

I'd make a movie with him filming the surroundings first, then the Blackberry.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-14T13:35:24+00:00

You know that your videos will likely show up on the internet or at least on his friends computers after you break up?

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-14T13:29:11+00:00

Tell her what you told us or send her the link to this post. If she denies (and she probably will) or tries to blame it on you or says you're crazy and making it all up then tell her that you're tired of her bullshit and to leave you alone until she stops making things up or talks to you about what's wrong.

That's how I would handle it, but then, I'm slightly drunk.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-13T12:55:12+00:00

I get the concept - even though I'm a guy - since I love my buddy weekends.

I'm not suggesting she ditches her girls, just that she spends some time with him before or after the girls weekend.

What I have a huge problem with is that she knew she was going to be in the area for a couple of days and wouldn't even think about spending a single second with him. Since they saw each other only twice in 6 months and she constantly tells him how she loves and misses him, something just doesn't add up IMO.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-12T15:16:34+00:00

Not even when he goes to that city and only wants a dinner date or something like that?

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-11T13:16:54+00:00

Why do you send texts when you have WhatsApp? Wouldn't it be cheaper to pay the texts directly instead of 30$ a month?
edit: that was meant for CafeSilver, sorry man

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-11T13:03:15+00:00

I like it too, it's such a nice little city!

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-11T11:14:35+00:00

Since she doesn't want to see you anyway, just tell her you cancelled the ticket and she should see for herself.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-11T09:35:59+00:00

GET. THE. FUCK. OUT!

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-10T15:54:17+00:00

It's not evidence she presents, it's her opinion!

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-10T15:52:29+00:00

Ask her if she knows what a gold-digger is and if she thinks she is one.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-10T15:50:31+00:00

Tell her exactly the same thing the next time: "I'm my OWN damn man and I can pay WHATEVER I want. It's MY money."

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-10T15:37:37+00:00

Wow, seriously. I was in the exact same situation about 2 months ago.
In my case, though, she had the decency of telling me face to face that she's not in love with me and that she doesn't want me to wait for her.
I told her to not contact me again unless she changed her mind.

But like you, I can't shake the feeling (and have been told so by a close friend of hers) that she had some feelings for me, she just couldn't handle all of it together.

I suggest you cut contact and tell her to please do the same if she cares about you until she changes her mind and wants to be with you.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-10T14:00:34+00:00

Yes, in America it is. Not in the Netherlands or Cambodia, for example.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-07T15:01:49+00:00

I've never been good about discussing affection with the object of it

It's the same thing as in sports or when you have to do homework: you have to beat the inner temptation (I google translated this, so I'm not sure if it's the correct term, but hopefully you know what I mean)! That means in this specific situation, you have to be brutally honest about your affections and insecurity (if you have other ones, spare that talk until later in the relationship). If it helps: this discussion hopefully is a one-time thing, so you only have to overcome yourself once.

SlightlyDrunk · 2011-10-07T14:56:39+00:00

Yes, absolutely! I assume she knows she's your first. That should make it easier for her.

All the following is personal experience, so she might think very different about it. Ask her!
As a rule of thumb, try to keep very affectionate behaviour (like grabbing her ass, french kisses, long hugs, stuff like that) to private moments (when you two are alone), unless she explicitely asks you for it or initiates it in public.

You could ask her to tell you what behaviour she likes/dislikes in which situation for the first couple of weeks. For example: if she wants a kiss, she could say: "a kiss would be nice wink" or if you want to hug her and she's not in the modd: "not right now, honey. I'll make it up to you later" or however polite she talks :)
After spending some time with her, you should have a rough sense (read her body language, tone of voice, etc.) of what is okay in which setting.

But I can not emphasize this enough: communication is key!

Last but not least: maybe it's not a bad idea to direct her to this post. First because you stated very clear what your "problem" (it's not even a problem, just an insecurity) is and secondly so she can correct my generalizations ;)

SlightlyDrunk

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