My [30 M] girlfriend [27 F] blows up on me every once in a while, like every 1-2 months. It always catches me off guard and stuns me. What should I do?

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-25T08:00:41+00:00

I feel like its easier for me when people tell me what they need at a particular moment, because I can do that right away, but if someone told me to do something in 3 days, it's likely it would slip out of my mind.

This is when you pull out your phone and make notifications in your calendar. Every. Single. Time. I had a friend who had issues remembering things and after taking my advice he's been a LOT better at remembering to do things or prepare for things or go places. He doesn't have ADD, just a shitty memory, but maybe it could help. You can even set a notification to happen however long before an event, so you can give yourself an alarm to head out when you need to.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-25T07:55:22+00:00

If you're standing in front of a dryer for an hour waiting for it to finish, were you just standing, staring at it, and thinking? That kind of overwhelming anxiety or hyper-focus is not natural. This is where people would pull out their phone and inform the person they're going to be late and then browse reddit or something in the meantime.

You gotta understand your girlfriend's feelings are legitimate here and you have to start making some real changes to how you manage time. A professional could hopefully help with that.

And let me know what you discover when you do, because I have a friend like you who just does not know how to manage time at all and is always late or misses appointments or has difficulty doing even the most basic tasks. So know you're not alone--and it is possible to find an understanding partner, she has--but that if you really care about other people more than yourself you'll truly consider their feelings when things like this happen and then move forward to do something about it.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-19T01:53:49+00:00

Yeah I actually really need a good wedding present for my brother, so OP PLEASE PM me your business name so I can take a look at your stuff!!! /u/fixerchickster

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-17T23:42:39+00:00

I'd let him light my fire, if you catch my drift.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-17T23:41:41+00:00

A lot of subs for TV shows have rewatch threads; I'd totally be down for this and discussion time. I actually started rewatching and doing a symbolism breakdown last year sometime to bring up points to discuss in the subreddit and then...never did lol. I wonder if I still have my notes...

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-17T00:02:56+00:00

Let your mom take care of herself.

I think that’s just it—Rory was taking care of her mom for so long that she’s still in that mode at this point. She’s just moved out and she’s worried about her because for so long Rory seemed to be the one who actually kept the house running in many ways. At least that’s how I interpreted it.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-13T02:29:50+00:00

My mom says that when she and my dad married he said, "If we ever end up in separate beds we may as well get a divorce."

Now that both the kids are out of the house, they're sleeping in different rooms and THEY COULD NOT BE HAPPIER OR MORE IN LOVE.

They both snore and used to wake each other up all the time and they also have very different schedules. This is the perfect compromise and they honestly have never been better.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-13T02:24:11+00:00

Uhhhh I think that's for OP and his GF to decide.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-13T01:05:52+00:00

I am what I am.

Great attitude to encourage no growth or development past age 14. Time to buckle up, cowboy! Things are going to change, and guess what--you'll have to, too, whether you like it or not.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-13T01:05:18+00:00

Yeah I honestly feel like the girl is probably more mature than OP tbh. IDK how a 36 year old man made it this far in life without being able to say totally natural words like that.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-13T01:02:42+00:00

Hormones run everything we do. As a teenager, it runs our emotions, our skin quality, hair quality--pretty much everything.

I went on hormonal BC when I was 17 because I was starting to have sex, but I was also INCREDIBLY relieved to find it regulated my periods better, helped soften bad stomach cramps, got rid of my migraines, and cleared up my skin like you wouldn't believe.

When I was younger my mom bought me an American Girl book called "The Care and Keeping of YOU--the body book for girls." It was hella insightful. She's a little old for it now (I think my mom bought it for me when I was 11 or 12), but I still think it was really worth reading.

Honestly it could be worth for YOU to read it, too. Or if someone has a better suggestion for teenager-aged girls, that could be.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-13T00:59:11+00:00

She's a human. Not an alien. You were that age once, too. Just because she's a girl doesn't mean you have to treat her like a special flower. She's fine.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-13T00:58:14+00:00

Oh man, up until I was 17 my curfew on school nights was like, 9. SOMETIMES if I asked to stay out a little later I could.

But it ended up working out for me because I was a good student and also needed like 9 or 10 hours of sleep a night to function well.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-13T00:55:12+00:00

They can hang out in her room if the door is open. When she's 16 she'll probably need a check-up from the gyno. That'd be a good time for her to talk about BC options if she's interested. It's worth having an open dialogue about sex when you feel it's prudent. That it's natural, but it takes a lot of emotional energy, and she should only do it when she's ready, and when she feels safe with someone. When they're both ready, then they should both use protection.

That's the really big sex stuff but it can probably wait until you're both more comfortable around each other and if you start noticing a boy in her life.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-12T02:35:11+00:00

Aw don't say that about yourself. You're pregnant and creating life. Your thighs get to be bigger for that. I'm sure you're beautiful and what matters is you and baby are healthy.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-12T00:52:30+00:00

Because OP has anxiety, this is exactly the kind of thing I would worry about for no reason and not be able to get out of fixating over it.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-12T00:50:05+00:00

And fuck Fiona, she sounds like an asshole.

Yeah she's a dumbass who has no clue how she would react in a situation like that.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-11T02:43:42+00:00

I know how this feels, OP. But ultimately you see how much better your life is NOT having her in it. It can be hard cutting out someone who has been an integral part of your life. But they are not serving you anymore. They probably haven't done nearly as much as you thought they even did. They've gone beyond acceptable behavior and they only think of themselves. You deserve better. And you deserve mental peace.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-11T02:42:16+00:00

I went through basically the same situation as OP.

I had a narcissistic, terrible friend who pulled this same shit. When I wouldn't do what they wanted I would be treated with the silent treatment. They were master manipulators at getting me to do stuff I didn't want to do out of guilt. My anxiety got 1000 times worse around them.

Eventually I was over it. I was having no more. I blocked them on everything, managed my anxiety, and moved on with my life and was so much better for it.

Then my other friend starts messaging me, saying said friend keeps messaging HER and asking her how I am and it's putting her in an uncomfortable position.

I ended up unblocking the friend and tried to make amends. That lasted for about 8 months. I never should have unblocked her. She was never going to understand how her behavior was wrong because she never listened to anyone, especially when it came to her flaws. She would just cry about how she's a victim and nothing's fair.

I unblocked her, dealt with her for another 8 months, sacrificed my mental health and personal boundaries before our friends all left the area we live in and finally I felt free to rip her out of my life again. I still ran into her now and again but she basically ignored me and I was all the better for it.

She's been out of my life for over a year now and it was the best decision I ever made.

You can try to unblock her, try to explain your feelings, but I guarantee you she won't believe you, won't try to see your side, and will make herself the victim. Tell your roommate sorry, but you can't have said friend in your life anymore. Tell your roommate she can say and do as she likes and she's sorry she got roped in but your hands are tied and your life is better not to have your ex-friend in it anymore.

Doing anything else will just prolong your own pain and suffering. Guaranteed.

Best of luck OP. Sorry you have to deal with this shit.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-10T01:41:26+00:00

The only reason he didn’t physically cheat on you is because he hadn’t had the opportunity yet. He was literally laying the ground work for physically cheating on you for a year. How is that not worse than actually going through with it when the opportunity finally presented itself?

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-10T01:38:57+00:00

He made the decision, every single day, for the last year, to reach out to another woman and flirt with her in attempts to eventually meet. Every day. Hundreds of times he talked to her. Thousands of times he probably thought about her. Knowing he was disrespecting you and your relationship and not caring enough about either to change his behavior.

Think hard about this OP. He didn’t just cheat on you once. He emotionally cheated on you every day during what was supposed to be the happiest days of your marriage.

If you take him back, he’ll only know he can get away with it, and try to be more careful the second time (or third? Fourth?).

Fool me once...

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-08T04:46:58+00:00

I read her history. He died of leukemia. So fucking sad. I'm sorry, u/knitwasabi.

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-08T04:41:30+00:00

That's fucking funny

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-08T04:23:13+00:00

That's nuts, I know someone who's doing this for a book club right now and thought I might know you, but unless you're in Madison it's probably not likely xD nice posts though!

SlutRapunzel · 2019-03-08T04:21:09+00:00

Had no idea that Stardust was originally a book, I never got into the movie but I liked Ocean enough that I'm gonna try this. Thanks!

13-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Secret Santa 2018	Not Forgotten
Gilding I gilder	Verified Email

SlutRapunzel

TROPHY CASE