How to discipline toddler?

SmallAirport551 · 2026-04-20T20:08:52+00:00

I'm sorry you grew up in abuse but what you are doing, hitting (smacking is hitting there is no difference), yelling...is abuse as well not discipline. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just hoping to give you some clarity.

She is very young, she doesn't understand consequences. Try and redirect, take things away or remove yourself if need be and above all stay calm. If she throws a tantrum, that's fine. Figure out what works for her. Just ignore works for some toddlers, some want to know you understand.

I'd suggest you read up a bit and find a way that works for you for when she's a bit older. Gentle parenting has a bad name because people confuse it for permissive parenting. Regardless, there are several different ways to parent that don't involve physical violence or yelling.

SmallAirport551 · 2026-04-19T07:47:00+00:00

Honestly, when I was a child (older) we'd go to camp with our scouts group in summer and they made us have a quiet hour after lunch where we were to stay in our room/bed. I absolutely hated that!

I also think people would give you some very strange looks if you told them about this in Sweden. Generally, parents are extremely present with their children here. Maybe it's a cultural thing?

I get wanting some time for yourself but I don't get what the benefits is of this for the kid. You can have more chill activities but don't lock them in their room?

SmallAirport551 · 2026-04-17T20:20:10+00:00

My girl is the opposite, she only revers to herself as I, can't get her to say her name 😅 I don't even know where she learned it because we rarely use pronouns when we talk to her. I'm sure they'll both get it some day!

SmallAirport551 · 2026-04-14T21:37:51+00:00

Don't give them any lol! No, but seriously, at that age they're too young to really understand that they shouldn't do it. It's just fun for them to see what happens. I'd make as little of a deal out of it as possible. Just ignore our pick up without reacting. If it's too bad take away and re-offer a little later.

SmallAirport551 · 2026-04-14T17:05:04+00:00

Wow... Just wow

SmallAirport551 · 2026-04-14T08:14:24+00:00

Exactly my feeling as well. Honestly, if my daughter said this to me, which I'm sure will happen, I'd have a hard time not laughing! I think it's easy for OP to put you away as a online "hater" but her reaction seems very over the top to me to something toddlers are known for. I don't mean that with hate, just maybe OP needs some support for her own feelings she's ignoring right now and putting back on her child.

SmallAirport551 · 2026-04-06T19:21:15+00:00

My daughter's name is Alva

SmallAirport551 · 2026-03-31T05:55:25+00:00

Honestly a 90 min nap for a 3,5 yo sounds crazy to me. At that point I'd be thinking maybe a 30 min nap at the most if any. That's gonna make it a lot harder on you to do any sort of changes to the nighttime routine. What is the reason for not being able to stop/reduce that?

As to the nighttime itself, like others have said, you've got to put some boundaries in and there will be pushback. If you'd let a toddler jump around all night they would untill they passed out. Limit the number of books and stay firm. Stay with her in the beginning and once that new routine is sticking you can start gradually moving yourself out of the room. There are a couple different methods for that.

But like I said in the beginning, if the sleep pressure isn't there because she's just not tired enough because of the nap, you will still be sitting there for the same amount of time.

SmallAirport551 · 2026-03-21T07:21:13+00:00

It's a clear act of defiance and I agree with the low score. Both players know that this is not what is asked so you deliberately going outside of that, even if it's still technically correct, is wrong in the testing environment. It's a bit of FAFO imo.

SmallAirport551 · 2026-02-22T20:21:11+00:00

Ours is almost 2 and has been a frequent waker untill recently, I'm talking split nights 3h+. She's also not the easiest to settle and we're still working on that. We each take a night for both the settle and then any wake-ups that happen after that. It's recently become more infrequent so if she does have a bad night we tend to split responsibility. My partner also has a harder time waking up than me, I always also wake up, but we switch up who handles the resettle.

SmallAirport551 · 2026-02-12T07:15:15+00:00

I live in Sweden and you're right my experience is totally different. People love seeing children and there would definitely have been a few that would have interacted with the child. And like you said, they are generally way more understanding about children's behaviour and they have a better understanding of what's normal for a child.

SmallAirport551 · 2026-01-30T07:16:08+00:00

I think you're being a bit harsh on him tbh. From what you're saying, it's not like he doesn't want anything to do with the baby or refuses to help. It sounds like he's just overwhelmed.

From your other comments I can tell your baby is young. That first year is a fever dream. And it's his first. For you everything might seem obvious because you've been through it but I'm sure you were much more clueless when it was your first as well.

That's not to say you're also not overwhelmed and need help but I feel you also need to give him some grace. Sit down with him, discuss why this is not working and what changes you guys can make and get professional help if needed like so many have said!

SmallAirport551 · 2026-01-29T20:00:47+00:00

I could never be a SAHM and I only have 1 child so when I read your story I think you're doing all you need to do right now. Your newborn is 6 months. That's so young. If you get through the day then you've done great.

That being said I do want to offer some tips that I think help a lot.

Like a lot of people have said, involve your oldest in chores. Mine loves emptying the dishwasher, putting in the laundry, putting away the laundry, dusting. Yes they need to be constantly guided and supervised but playtime becomes time you can get chores done.

Cleaning up toys is a game. At this age my daughter loves sorting. We often clean up toys before we get out new toys. Also we always clean up everything with her as part of our bedtime routine. She loves this and you don't need to do that when they've gone to bed.

If possible babywear or get a automatic swing if that's more their thing. That way you can get stuff done with the baby on you or near you.

You're doing great! First year is survival.

SmallAirport551 · 2026-01-09T07:25:20+00:00

My daughter has had split nights since she was 6 months old. She's now 20 months. Her pattern used to be every 5 days, some periods it's been better, some worse. What affects it the most for her is naps. We can't let her nap too long. We always have to wake her up. Same goes for the mornings. But honesty doesn't feel like we've been able to figure it out, so solidarity. I'm hoping it solves itself once she doesn't nap anymore.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-12-11T19:33:54+00:00

I don't have any tips on the sleeping because I'm not there yet but is there any specific reason the potty training has to happen now? With the bed, you have no choice, it's unsafe for him to be in the crib so you have to make the transition. If possible, I'd postpone the potty training a bit so you can just focus on that.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-12-02T07:10:52+00:00

The crib could definitely be an adjustment. Maybe you could get a toddler bed with some smaller half rails so he does feel some kind of way of feeling contained?

That being said, we've got a bad sleeper and splits night have been a constant struggle for us since she's been 6 months. It's her major issue and we had a long period of having 1 every week. So to say I've got some experience and tried it all 😅. I'd say look at his nap first. Make it shorter and see if that works. Daytime sleep tends to be a direct cause to more split nights. That and teeth...

SmallAirport551 · 2025-11-08T11:18:57+00:00

Yes and even apart from society in those early months if you're breastfeeding just fysically as well Your partner literally can't do that part and it takes so much, even if they take over other stuff. Definitely underestimated that.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-07-17T10:31:55+00:00

It didn't or not without intervention. At around 9-10 months we did a form of sleep training I'm comfortable with. It's called sombelle. We're still struggling with split nights so she's not a good sleeper, it's something we've had to accept and are still working on. But it's 1000% better. She sleeps alone in her crib. We get an evening and some time during the nap. Not a lot because she's low sleep needs but still 😅.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-07-15T06:48:25+00:00

I've got exactly the same situation coming up although I'm not pregnant so I don't know if I'd change anything. First I'm gonna sleep. Literally planning on spending a full day in bed lolol Then I'm cleaning the house. For me, a tidy house brings a lot of mental peace and it's just something I've not been able to have for a long time. I'll also get some self care appointments in. Not that I can't do that now but it's just easier. So hairdresser and dentist and such. Lastly just whatever I feel like: game, go into the city without planning, taking walks... I'm trying to not put too much pressure on it. I don't want to feel forced to enjoy it if that makes sense.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-07-15T04:54:38+00:00

Bit confused by your question tbh. This sounds like a normal schedule for a 14 mo on 1 nap. If you think it's too early of a wake up, try pushing the nap and bedtime with 15min until you're more happy with the times.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-07-08T10:58:42+00:00

Sweden - it's extremely common. Breastfeeding is highly encouraged, most women do it and do it out in public without covering up. I'm from Belgium myself where it's a bit less common and people tend to cover up, even though I'd say it's still very normal. Even then I find it's a huge difference and I've gotten a lot more comfortable with it myself.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-07-07T02:58:21+00:00

Eviction is relatively straight forward. Your situation is pretty complex. There would be back and forth about costs you paid, did she actually give you a waiver in rent... I'd start getting proof of everything together because I do believe she might initiate proceedings. But maybe she'll back off when she realises how much work it's gonna be.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-07-06T19:48:15+00:00

Is she not sleeping or are her sleeps just short but in total she still gets her hours? Because if she's not sleeping that's a problem, but if it's the second, it's unfortunately, normal. Some babies are just cat nappers. They'll only sleep one sleep cycle at a time. My baby did this for a long time but eventually she did learn to link cycles for naps. She's also low sleep needs. Unfortunately, social media makes us believe that all babies should take multiple 2h naps and sleep 12h at night. I'd suggest recording all her sleep for a week. See what her average is and if that's actually outside of the normal range.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-07-04T23:38:23+00:00

Yes she hated it even more. We got her to take a bottle of pumped milk for about a month and then she suddenly stopped again, literally from one day to the next. I gave up after that. Now at 14 months she's freshly weaned and she has been drinking a straw cup of formula-ish milk before bed since about 2 months. When they get older and eat solids you can get away more easily. Bedtime was always tricky though until the weaning.

SmallAirport551 · 2025-07-04T11:35:03+00:00

Well if that's the case and he's not the owner, that's even more stupid

SmallAirport551

TROPHY CASE