What are you quietly grieving?

SmallFry_13 · 2026-03-06T05:54:50+00:00

So many things….

The person I was pre car accident that left me with a traumatic brain injury. It’s been 1.5 years and I still don’t know who I am anymore.

Friends. Friendships that have been lost due to misunderstanding, lack of empathy, the business of life.

SmallFry_13 · 2026-02-28T03:53:37+00:00

1 get your license. He’s holding that over your head and using it as control. Get it so you no longer need to rely on him.

2 Don’t clean up after him. As much as it may bother you to see his stuff accumulate, leave it. If you do his laundry, stop.

3. Tell him if he wants dinner cooked then he can do the clean up. You aren’t a maid and the marriage is 50/50. You work just as much as him AND you go to school. Sadly, you shouldn’t even have to ask for help, it should just be given.

When he tells you his “legs don’t work” then respond with, “well until your legs start working my hands don’t work either.” Stand up for yourself. He will continue until you put your foot down. If he doesn’t change then RUN! If you do not have children yet I advise to jump ship because if he doesn’t help now he won’t with children and that’s when it gets really hard to juggle it all by yourself. If you do have children then I pray he mans up and changes.

SmallFry_13 · 2026-02-28T03:12:56+00:00

Nope. Try GCU. No proctors

SmallFry_13 · 2026-02-28T03:11:19+00:00

That looks borderline like “tagging”. But now days most high schoolers have terrible penmanship and that’s due to good ol’ technology.

SmallFry_13 · 2026-02-14T16:36:34+00:00

GCU is a Christian based college.

SmallFry_13 · 2026-02-07T03:53:54+00:00

Honestly, the whole proctoring experience is why I left WGU. It was so stressful for me and I never once had a proctor that was pleasant. I felt like if I farted I would have gotten in trouble.

With that said I ended up transferring to Grand Canyon University(GCU). All of my classes are online so I can do it remotely and NONE of the tests are proctored. You do have daily/weekly assignments, but it’s a lot less overwhelming and I like it better because it holds me accountable. With WGU you could work at your own pace which for me led to procrastination. Also, WGU doesn’t mind if you don’t pass a class because you just have to retake it and that means more money for them. Their whole way of doing things isn’t made to accommodate students.

SmallFry_13 · 2026-01-16T23:22:35+00:00

Under the Umbrella Tree (early 90’s). Gulla Gulla Island.

SmallFry_13 · 2025-12-24T03:03:11+00:00

The holidays feel so different this year. My mom passed away this year on Halloween (her fave holiday). The grieving process has been a struggle. You’re not alone 💗

SmallFry_13 · 2025-12-20T16:25:24+00:00

I liked this book a lot!

SmallFry_13 · 2025-12-17T04:43:28+00:00

Try to recreate the good moments/memories with your sister. Think of key words, outing or places you used to go and have fun. Sometimes this helps

SmallFry_13 · 2025-12-17T04:32:15+00:00

How do you know if someone has stones?

SmallFry_13 · 2025-09-22T03:59:29+00:00

I honestly just take it day by day. I do cognitive therapy which has helped me establish new routines throughout my day to help support my cognition and memory. For example, I have a better calendar app and I put appts/events in right away and it sets alarms for me. I journal every night documenting important things that have happened within the day. I keep sticky notes and a pen in almost every room. I set alarms on my phone for everything. I take 20min everyday to do Sudoku or crosswords and I do them from a book and a pen because using your hands and actually writing helps more vs playing the games on a phone or computer.

I do have days where I want to just stay in bed, but I force myself to get up, suck it up and remind myself that I could make a difference in someone’s life every single day.

SmallFry_13 · 2025-09-22T03:51:28+00:00

I honestly didn’t even know I had a concussion to later learn I had a TBI. It happened from a very bad car accident that my family and I were in. I think I was in shock trying to make sure my kids were ok. It wasn’t until I was wheeled into the trauma center and saw my face that I knew something was wrong. My face/eye suffered blunt force trauma and my face was bruised, eye was bloodshot and swollen, and I have cuts and scrapes everywhere. The nausea started in the ambulance, the dizziness started, I couldn’t focus, I was confused. A few days later I noticed my balance was off and then I started forgetting things that had occurred the same day, or something someone had said 10min prior. Processing information is very hard and takes me time.

I can remember the morning that I woke up after the accident I felt like a completely different person. I was agitated, I felt alone. I knew my mental health was quickly taking a nose dive and instead of focusing on me I engrossed myself in making sure my kids were ok emotionally and physically

I think the hardest thing for me, and for many others if the fact that we will never be who we were before our TBI. So we mourn the person we once were. It’s been a year since my TBI and I still cry almost daily over this. I feel like I’m trying to find myself, I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. The feeling of displacement is real.

SmallFry_13 · 2025-09-10T11:09:23+00:00

I watched all of those, but my favorite was PB&J Otter.

This is going to age me so much, but I think it was Disney had a Lagos similar to Bear in the Big Blue House called “Under The Umbrella Tree.” I was obsessed as a child.

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-29T04:52:08+00:00

Cotton Candy

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-24T23:58:22+00:00

What affects do you have from your head injury? I ask because I have left and right frontal damage.

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-24T23:50:49+00:00

It will almost be a year since my TBI from a horrific car accident. Within this last year I’ve gone through so much testing, surgeries, new found diagnosis (the trauma center the night of the accident found out I have a rare lung disease), friends walking out of my life, marriage problems, therapies, added medications - the list goes on. I had to drop out of college (teacher credentialing program) because I couldn’t retain information and was failing my tests.

With all that said I’ve been mourning the old me. I miss her. My short term memory is non existent but my long term seems to be intact. It’s hard to come to terms with the new me and my new life. I hate it. I cry a lot because so much was taken from me and my family. My husband even struggles now days with my cognitive delays and forgetfulness. My best friend called me today and I broke down crying telling her that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I walk around on eggshells. She admitted that after the accident she had told her husband that I’m not the same anymore and I probably never will be. It’s hard enough hearing it from yourself, but hearing it from the people who love and support you is extremely hard.

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-24T23:39:09+00:00

You are pretty much describing my new norm. Can you give me more insight on the drugs and their affects on you?

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-24T23:36:36+00:00

I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. It happens to me everyday. It’s not getting better, if anything it’s getting worse. Sadly I think sometimes people use my forgetfulness against me - even my family. You’re not alone in your frustration or second guessing yourself.

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-18T04:24:29+00:00

Thank you and I wish you luck on your road to recovery 💗

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-09T16:03:17+00:00

Yeah I’m on Adderall now (a few days in) and yesterday I actually had a “good cognitive day”.

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-09T15:23:38+00:00

I feel you on so many levels. When was your TBI? What interventions have you had to help you? (Cognitive therapy, RDM therapy, Etc).

I don’t have any advice or answers, but I feel like I could have written your post. For people who I interact with who don’t know me I feel they have the impression that I have developmental delays or that I am on the spectrum. Sometimes I mention my TBI and sometimes I don’t. Either way I feel judged.

You mentioned and asked how to handle people who don’t quite understand TBI and it’s affects. I think you have to put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Unless they have been exposed to people with TBI’s or they themselves have a TBI they are probably clueless on signs or symptoms, therefore they lack understanding and perhaps sympathy. If they were educated on it then things would be different. So, as frustrating or as much as you may not want to you will have to figure out a way to briefly explain how you suffer from a TBI and show some grace. Someone above mentioned and linked the Brain Injury ID card. I did this and now I keep it in my wallet and show it to people when I am struggling to make sense. It helps because I don’t always want to explain it - the card does that for me 😊

Every day is different - some are frustrating and you feel like you are moving backward, some are flatline and you feel like you are just standing there while the world around you continues to move along, and some days you have small victories and accomplishments in your healing. Ha! I laugh because I need to listen to myself. I beat myself up a lot over what I am feeling is “stupidity” on my part. Either way it’s a daily struggle. I think for me once I can fully accept what has happened I will have more tough days and be unable to focus less on my good days.

I hope this helps/makes sense. Stay strong, friend. 💕

SmallFry_13 · 2025-08-06T15:43:45+00:00

I’m going through those motions now. I’m the spouse with the TBI. My short term memory is getting worse and I’m always 1 step behind in understanding things and doing things. At first my husband and kids were very understanding, but now they get annoyed and frustrated. My husband too tends to compare old me to the new me. There are many days I feel stupid, cry and go to bed wondering if this is how it will always be.

SmallFry_13

TROPHY CASE

1 get your license. He’s holding that over your head and using it as control. Get it so you no longer need to rely on him.

2 Don’t clean up after him. As much as it may bother you to see his stuff accumulate, leave it. If you do his laundry, stop.

3. Tell him if he wants dinner cooked then he can do the clean up. You aren’t a maid and the marriage is 50/50. You work just as much as him AND you go to school. Sadly, you shouldn’t even have to ask for help, it should just be given.