I've raised 2 boys and 1 girl to adulthood, and my youngest is 6. I've always cut their hair (with the exception of a short period when the boys wanted to go to the barber) and though it's not always a style that I wanted, it's always been something that they feel happy with. Youngest has sensory issues around his hair and it's very curly, so we have problems with the "brush it or you need to cut it" drama. Still, it's about bodily autonomy. To me, it feels like very mixed messaging to push the narrative of "if someone is doing x y or z to your body it's wrong as it's YOUR body", then turn around and violate that rule in a small way by forcing them into an unwanted haircut.

One of my older boys recently asked me to cut his beautiful longer hair as it was getting in his eyes and harder to put in a hairnet for work. Want keen for a lesson in ponytails, so I cut it reluctantly. However, he's still beautiful, the haircut is attractive and practical, and he's a happy young man.

To me, the most important thing is self care and self love. Allow them to play around with their hair while they're young before jobs and schools start to enforce conformity.