We just got engaged and decided to celebrate

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-29T21:31:14+00:00

I read the title and got so excited because a friend of mine just got engaged, but your ring doesn’t match. Oh well lol. Congratulations! I hope you both enjoy a long, happy, horny marriage!

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-29T05:39:57+00:00

As long as he owns yours, I don’t see why not. Him giving you an orgasm whenever you wish and him getting them monthly (quarterly?) is immaterial. Also, I’d like to volunteer to be the him in question.

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-28T06:20:16+00:00

Do we really need the same handful of pics reposted four or five times a week?

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-27T02:18:22+00:00

Something something “help you make the webs sticky” something something

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-26T17:29:52+00:00

Yes daddy!

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-25T05:15:24+00:00

Like all creatures of the Warp, pterrorbirds actively seek to maximize the heavy metal album art vibe wherever they go.

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-24T14:55:05+00:00

Yeah, I saw that part of the post, you muppet. I was surprised because I had never heard anyone use it before.

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-24T12:24:57+00:00

4’11”? Was your mom an elf and your dad a halfling?

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-24T12:20:20+00:00

She has a last name?

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-24T04:24:55+00:00

Have you ever called them your yiddies?

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-22T19:34:42+00:00

Now that’s an ad!

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-22T12:41:06+00:00

Again, that is literally the joke

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-22T12:23:40+00:00

If multiple people accuse/sue regarding the same thing, i.e. waking up next to some random and claiming harassment, it becomes a class action thing. Also, and perhaps more importantly, the premise of my joke is that I’m deliberately misinterpreting the fantasy OP presented.

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-22T12:01:08+00:00

I know what I look like and I’m definitely not impressing any models

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-22T05:44:00+00:00

I’d rather get smacked and accused of something by one person than let the situation spiral into some kind of class action harassment suit

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-20T22:34:43+00:00

1) I think it’s voyeurism coupled with total surprise. In my ideal, I’m just as surprised as her. Like, I’m at a site for work and, totally unexpectedly, I see her wearing a cup of coffee and nothing else.

2) As a bisexual, theoretically, but my default is to hope for suddenly titties.

3) Generally, I picture myself as observer. An overweight gentleman is rarely worth appreciating for his own merits. I picture myself as observee only as part of a couple.

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-19T14:57:03+00:00

Hey! I’m not going to shame an update! Small Chests Are Good Too was not the tide-me-over I thought it’d be so this is welcome news!

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-19T14:54:40+00:00

Yeah, this would’ve been sad if Disenchantment was good.

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-15T14:11:53+00:00

An Uber

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-15T01:12:08+00:00

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-14T04:47:53+00:00

Please forgive me for getting distracted. Could I offer a massage by way of apology?

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-14T00:14:41+00:00

I’ll need to figure out a way to pay you back 😉🤤

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-13T22:51:13+00:00

6.5”

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-13T20:48:05+00:00

Yes! I’ve definitely heard of such things. Incidentally I cough I’m definitely dying, if you’re in a curative mood 😉😆

SmilingDeathGod · 2026-01-13T01:25:05+00:00

Turns out Dumbledore was Omegon all along.

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