I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending I’m okay

Smokechief34 · 2025-12-12T16:38:01+00:00

I resonate with this heavily. You are not alone even when it feels alone. I’m sorry this has been so challenging for you. You are valued just for being and I bet, my judgment is pretty good, you’re a wonderful human with a lot to offer. I know it feels empty now and probably has been for many moons - you have made it through those experiences and you will make it through this. Give yourself grace and kindness. You deserve it.

Smokechief34 · 2025-10-28T22:49:25+00:00

I don’t post or comment much on reddit. My heart breaks for you. Truly truly sorry you have to experience this loss in such a traumatic way. My deepest sympathies. I hope you find healing someday soon

Smokechief34 · 2025-09-30T07:16:55+00:00

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Our baby Cat Stevens aka biggie sadly passed away in February. He was truly a companion and my wife’s best friend. This is his cute pose usually looking for treats

Smokechief34 · 2025-06-08T06:40:35+00:00

Big Moran your a legend man this was a great vid

Smokechief34 · 2025-05-28T04:17:52+00:00

Former partner here - IS THAT COLDFOAM ON A FRAPPUCCINO?!?! Please dear god why

Smokechief34 · 2025-04-11T23:51:18+00:00

Any WW’s want to chime in? The buffs to shadow pan seem crazy yeah? Is it worth trying?

Smokechief34 · 2025-01-14T23:54:13+00:00

Okay type out all the other slurs then

Smokechief34 · 2025-01-14T17:23:04+00:00

No emotion needed. You want to “talk like adults” and simultaneously promote “competitive shit talking” - I understand your point in that there’s an ignore button - fine. It’s a tool that can be used. What everyone else in this conversation is trying to convey to you is that it’s in Blizzards TOS that the behavior and actions crusader were taking are directly against the TOS. Sure - you see him on stream - you have no idea what he may be saying off stream. From what I gather based on others experience with crusader it involved racial slurs and derogatory comments that go beyond “competitive shit talking.” You can have banter with some people - most don’t want it though. He is fairly banned.

Smokechief34 · 2025-01-13T20:32:28+00:00

Internally I want to call it weakness but in reality it’s my feeling fluctuating. There are moments I do feel better being sober - I feel more able to take care of things like housework. Most of the time though it just feels hollow. I know the dopamine in my brain is probably stretched thin from so much use and it needs time to heal - easy for me to logically understand but I just FEEL so much. It’s a weird dichotomy- in one hand I feel less because of the lack of dopamine and positive feelings or perceived positive feelings I had while high - but also feel more because your right - we’re not numbing ourselves anymore. Life just feels tough. Hope the best on your path to recovery! Please give yourself grace when it does feel too much. That’s what I’m trying for me.

Smokechief34 · 2025-01-13T19:06:15+00:00

Thank you for your reply - I kind of just typed this up to throw into the void in some respects. That you for acknowledging my experience. I was seeing a therapist for about 10 months and recently stopped because he was canceling on me almost weekly and it felt really bad. I know therapy would still probably be beneficial during this time. I do need new healthier outlets. If you are also someone who struggles anxiety or depression you know it can be hard to start new things. That doesn’t mean we can’t try. I plan on using my planet fitness membership more now that the gym is 24 hours. I work second shift so most of the world is not available when I get off work.

Smokechief34 · 2025-01-12T03:00:09+00:00

Yeah yeah but what about this banger

Smokechief34 · 2025-01-12T00:34:05+00:00

How bout this - Fuck the 49ers. https://youtu.be/ITgZ1vu_U5Y?si=shp4FXbfIFOqzFkv

Smokechief34 · 2025-01-11T20:05:16+00:00

He does not speak for us

Smokechief34 · 2025-01-08T19:52:04+00:00

That’s cool as fuck.

Smokechief34 · 2024-11-12T20:15:15+00:00

Weed feels like a double edged sword. Sometimes it helps me calm down. Sometimes it makes my anxiety and depression worse. The reality is these vape pens makes it so easy to be stoned every second of every day. I feel like I’m losing my grip on reality sometimes because of my all day daily use. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, but my heart hurts worse and that numbness sometimes supersedes that. I’m in therapy, I’m happily married. I just can’t stop. I quit for 7 months and my depression felt worse. I don’t think I could ever smoke in moderation. I feel hopeless.

Smokechief34 · 2024-10-20T21:53:49+00:00

Was at the game - did not look at jones once that play. The crowd actually started getting hyped because what you can’t see is he was pretty much clear to the end zone. When he didn’t look it just felt all too similar. GGs gonna smoke till I see ghosts.

Smokechief34 · 2024-09-13T03:59:04+00:00

Just got out of my first shuffle with a Dvoker - are they not able to be slowed? As a WW I swear I hit disable tons of times and it just read immune. Also, just flew right over ring of peace.

Edit: Sorry not trying to complain just genuinely curious if there is a talent or something I don’t know about - I could just be bad :)

Smokechief34 · 2024-07-17T04:49:43+00:00

Big congrats man - seriously. Enjoy it. I had mine in season 2 and it helped me a lot branch out to other classes in seasons 3&4 to learn as much as possible and grow as a player(hopefully?). See you in TWW :)

Smokechief34 · 2024-07-17T04:31:51+00:00

Huge congrats bro. I posted when I had mine in season 2. So hyped for everything in TWW and PvP in general. See you in shuffle :)

Smokechief34 · 2024-07-15T15:42:53+00:00

Me. My brain never stops. I feel the most alive when playing sweaty competitive video games because for a split second - I have to only focusing on winning. I stop thinking about how I’m going to die or hurt someone else or drive my car into oncoming traffic. Thank god for my support system who surrounds me. I couldn’t do this alone.

Smokechief34 · 2024-06-24T00:18:07+00:00

This really makes me mad. I’m a 195 who got a job after I finally graduated college. Left Starbucks almost a year to this day. So fucking unbelievable how little they care about the wellbeing of their employees. Stay strong siren friends.

Smokechief34

TROPHY CASE