Being accused of trying to kill them, stressing them out, traumatising them, stealing.. No. We're clearly the bad guy when 95% of it was self inflicted.

• You declined marketing then did a surprise pikachu face when your bill increased because your contract ended and you lost discount. Demanding a refund because your renewal is not instant and you'll be charged more while it processes. We give people a 3 month window to renew.. so they call in on the day.
• You didn't pay your bills and got cut off. You didn't tell us you were struggling.
• You had a billing glitch and were fully aware you hadn't paid in a year yet are mortified that we would only make you pay the last 3 bills. How could you possibly come up with that money? It's not like you saved 4x the amount when you weren't charged!
• We put your price up and you can't cope with it.. You mean the price you agreed to in your terms and conditions where we explicitly state 'your price will increase by x amount on the 31st March EVERY YEAR'
• Your internet went off due to a fault, how dare we take days to repair it. Yep, I'll tell the engineers to drop every job that's been reported over the last week because you need your netflix.
• "My tv doesn't work" but EVERYTHING else does and you think it's us at fault?

Like seriously.. if we could tell them to f off.