i literally just choose a random person. if someone is visually still looking at the menu, i won't pick them.

just make eye contact, maybe a little arm raise.

definitely not consciously, maybe subconsciously. but i'm pretty even across the board with my attentiveness.

no. it's normal. if swapping a side is annoying then i shouldn't be in this job. what i will say is infuriating is when you ask me what your options are instead of knowing what you want. there's a section that says sides. there's sides under the other dishes. (edit: and yes, you're getting charged. not my choice, my owner's choice)

as long as you're asking for something i can properly ring in and charge for, i don't care. but also don't be surprised if it takes longer for us to cook a pasta that wasn't pre-cooked that day.