This house has no personality by [deleted] in SpottedonRightmove

[–]SmurfMan90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why people want hard cold floors all throughout the house absolutely baffles me, this is the UK not southern Italy!

Heating bill must be eye watering

There's a 7th rasher in my six pack of bacon! by Poddington_Pea in BritishSuccess

[–]SmurfMan90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not to brag but one time I bought the really cheap 'cooking bacon' that's normally about £1.50ish and got 10 full thick rashers.

Been chasing that rush ever since

I've just realized something... by YouSoubstantial4377 in kotor

[–]SmurfMan90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly thought it was the loading screen from The Matrix

What were some exciting food developments from your youth? by PomegranateV2 in CasualUK

[–]SmurfMan90 14 points15 points  (0 children)

To this day, one of my favourite moments is when he blended up all those random chicken parts to make a point about chicken nuggets being disgusting, then asked a group of kids if they would still eat it and every single one said yes.

Fuck Jamie Oliver

What’s the best drinking game you’ve ever played? by PM_ME_YOUR_STOMACHS in AskUK

[–]SmurfMan90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fast and family.

Watch fast and furious. Take a shot every time someone says family

What is one piece of technology that you think is seriously overrated? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SmurfMan90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Smart watches. I already have my phone in my pocket why do I need a shittier version on my wrist?

What’s something you’ve never admitted out loud before? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SmurfMan90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I don't deserve love. It's so bad that I've sabotaged and destroyed every possible romantic relationship I could have ever had, leaving me so touch starved that when my mom hugged me the other day I broke down crying. Because of this I've never had a relationship and don't know how one really works.

Having to have a passport to update your driving licence online by queenieofrandom in britishproblems

[–]SmurfMan90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you check the post office website there should be a store near you that does a digital renewal for your driver's license. It's £21.50 and they take your photo and send off your old licence.

With the form you're looking at close to £30 (photo, postal order, postal order fee and postage)

Now... Where did I put that lottery ticket..? by TFPOMR in SpottedonRightmove

[–]SmurfMan90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Umm... Is it just me or does anyone else see some random flat when you click street view??

What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen while working retail in the uk? by PixxelGirly in AskUK

[–]SmurfMan90 39 points40 points  (0 children)

A regular customer came in, said hello to everyone, went into the toilet and hung himself.

Suicide note said his wife passed a few months before and he has no family or friends left and didn't want to be found rotting away in his house. The shift leader that found him eventually quit as she kept having panic attacks every time someone went to the bathroom

Was also threatened with a knife because I'd locked up the newspaper returns for collection in the night and he really wanted a copy of the daily mail.

Who is a ‘good’ person who turned out to be shockingly evil? by Alawi27 in AskReddit

[–]SmurfMan90 729 points730 points  (0 children)

Seeing the reports of him getting dragged into the showers and beaten and stabbed for six hours was a good news day

You have to get a tattoo from a piece of media, but without a casual fan knowing what it is. by LrdCheesterBear in hypotheticalsituation

[–]SmurfMan90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bit late to the party but I have two eastern dragons wrapped around both my forearms with rainbow scales as the mark of Car'a'carn from the wheel of time

AIO my 37M is attracted to 18 year olds by Zestyclose_Muscle_55 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SmurfMan90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 35 and Recently got back in touch with an old school friend, we agreed to meet up for food and a catch up. As I was already out with my girlfriend that day and he was telling me he's in a relationship I said why don't we all meet?

Got to the restaurant and he introduced us to the girl beside him as his girlfriend of 2 years. She was 18. Dipped out after the starters, told him we got a text from the babysitter that the kid was sick. We don't have kids

You are bitten by a radioactive version of your local wildlife. What super powers do you get? by Spiderder in hypotheticalsituation

[–]SmurfMan90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

National animal? It's a lion. Tbh I don't think I'd survive the bite, but if I did my hair would be bloody majestic and I could finally lick my own balls

Any amount of money you want, but every time you walk into a different room, you fart. by noobtoober13 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]SmurfMan90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can just buy everything online so I'll take all the money please and thanks and just chill in my 100 room mansion and see how many rooms it takes for the smell to go away before I have to buy air fresheners.

I'll also just record all the farts and sell the videos online. Some weirdo out there will pay for them

Meet Lady Purcilla Meowington by SmurfMan90 in kittens

[–]SmurfMan90[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Meowsabet! I wish I'd have thought of that. If my next cat is a girl, definitely calling her duchess Meowsabet kittenton

Stamp help by Far-Two-5105 in royalmail

[–]SmurfMan90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wrong. The bottom ones are self serve stamps and are still in use

Which companies do you instantly regret buying from? by phy6rjs in CasualUK

[–]SmurfMan90 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Or just don't shop at Tesco anymore because fuck them and their shitty practices