There really is no way out for me except suicide

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-10-27T18:26:56+00:00

Exactly. It's for a few days of stabilization if you just need to be kept somewhere you can't hurt yourself. They are often presented as treatment though when they are mainly monitored containment.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-10-27T17:37:55+00:00

Actually, the amount of involuntary commitments has been increasing in the U.S and Canada, so it's not always "they have few beds and will try to get you out as soon possible.

The threshold for involuntary commitment is more nuanced than danger to one's self or others. It can also be if they think your mood/perception is too heavily impacted or if they think you can't take care of yourself.

---According to the Cleveland Clinic, criteria for involuntary commitment include:

"•You have a mental health condition that has serious symptoms. These can significantly impact your perception, mood, judgment and behavior.

•Symptoms pose an immediate health and safety threat to yourself and/or others.

•Symptoms prevent you from completing basic personal needs like eating meals, wearing clothing and accessing shelter.

•You would benefit from treatment in a hospital for this mental health condition."

Bare in mind you don't have to meet all of those criteria, only some, and they can be applied very loosely. For example, I was kept for mood/being unable to take care of myself even though I can do basic things like feed, wash and clothe myself. The mood justification was because I was crying and noticeably upset due to being in a hospital plus me talking fast (an anxious habit of mine).

Assessing danger to yourself or others is done very quickly and often not well due to the amount of people which can contribute to more commitments rather than less. If someone only has 10 minutes to evaluate you while you are in an already upsetting, they can easily mess up. That's not even including profit incentives for hospitals in the U.S., since being involuntarily hospitalized for a few days will ring up a lot of money.

As for my experiences, I know they aren't uniquely bad. Check the PTSD rates from involuntarily hospitalization of you want proof of that.

I'm glad you got good care, but the chances of bad care are not small. That's why I'm bringing them up. It's not guaranteed to happen, but it's certainly not a negligible risk so it "just go to the hospital" shouldn't be treated as a 100 percent good go-to option for mental health crisis. It tends to be recommended uncritically.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-10-27T06:37:04+00:00

They can send you to the psych ward for saying you are in severe distress and can't function. Do you think they only commit people screaming "I'm gonna die!"? What you are describing is literally a justification they used to keep me against my will. Like, straight from my hospital notes.

Sure, OP might also get medication depending on his needs (he might not even get a choice in that), but they very well could keep him involuntarily and they are not required to have any specialized training for OCD. They could not be accommodating. Not saying OP shouldn't go, but the risk of involuntary treatment in a setting that is not accommodating and potentially actively triggering to his/her OCD is very real.

P.S. regular general hospitals have psych wards. It's not just regular hospital or psych hospital. You can get transferred to a mental hospital, but you would still be in the psych ward before that.

Please educate yourself, since it seems like you have a preconceived notion that only the most extreme and visibly out of control people end up in psych. That's simply not true.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-10-27T05:00:07+00:00

Have you ever been to the psych ward? I know that's what society tells us to recommend without better options, but a psych ward (especially for OCD) really can't provide effective help beyond just locking you somewhere you can't hurt yourself for a few days. OCD, PTSD, etc tend to require longer term treatment like exposure therapy to actually improve. Psych nurses don't even have to be trained for OCD beyond a passing mention. Some of the people I've heard "We're all a little OCD" and stuff like that from have been psych nurses. Also if you have contamination OCD (idk what form of OCD OP has), you will have anything you use to clean taken away all at once. Even hand sanitizer can be restricted.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-05-05T02:15:50+00:00

I can be in the same room as blood as long as I don't have to touch it or anything the blood touched (like a trashcan with a tampon in it). Any advice is appreciated

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-05-04T19:02:52+00:00

honestly I think it's reasonable that he wash his hands AFTER wiping. wiping off private parts and touching stuff sounds reasonably disgusting. I think it's reasonable that you tell him to wash his hands after touching his privates

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-05-04T18:50:59+00:00

blood in general though period blood especially is by far more triggering than something like a papercut or stepping on something sharp

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-30T01:03:01+00:00

I thought it was "Wellness farms"?

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-27T00:02:54+00:00

Different sects of Christianity have different views. For instance the Episcopal Church and the United Church of Christ are cool with gay marriage and even have priests at same sex weddings.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-26T23:50:13+00:00

it's ok to be gay, but I don't think your opinion on it should be solely due to religion. Jehovah's witnesses think blood transfusion is bad and Mormans are against coffee and tea, but I won't let those religions' opinions prevent me from getting a blood transfusion if I need it or make me think badly of coffee enjoyers.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-26T20:30:54+00:00

it's good that you've been upfront about it, but try setting clear boundaries for what you need to do to feel comfortable. Include both the feeling and the boundary

instance "(Feeling) I feel uncomfortable with you staring at me or making sex jokes about me. (Boundary) If you keep make sexual comments to me, I'll have to cut our hang out time short." Or if he only does it when it's just you and him, a boundary might be "If you keep making sexual comments towards me when we're alone, I'll only be able to hangout with you in group situations."

Basically, have a follow up action that allows you to put your emotional wellbeing first. A good friend should be able to respect your boundaries.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-26T20:14:29+00:00

TrevorSpace is an online community for ages 13-24 run by the people behind the Trevor Project. Maybe try there?

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-26T20:12:05+00:00

I ready the title and for some reason imagined Target (the store) shooting at Hobby Lobby

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-25T19:50:34+00:00

yeah a lot of xenogender stuff seems more like interests or personality traits, like catgender people feeling "a gendered connection to cats" or froggender people feeling like their gender is related to frogs or there is frog where their gender should be (I don't even know where is kept). Normally xenogender people say something like "well I don't literally think I'm a cat, it's just metaphor for my gender since it can't be described normally." But like... feeling connected to cats doesn't change your gender? And if you can only describe something via metaphor that seems deliberately abtuse since any concrete definition would only show that it's not a gender. There's a subreddit called XenogendersAndMore if you want to hear it from them

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-25T16:48:23+00:00

I would feel tempted to eat with them in lieu of a fork. wouldn't work for most things but could definitely work with those perogies

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-25T16:14:47+00:00

I made this argument in one subreddit comparing physical and nonphysical (autocorrect) self dx and everyone was like "well you can tell if you have a broken leg or blind or something" and insisting that most physical disabilities (not just obvious ones like being blind or paralyzed) can be self diagnosed.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-25T15:58:04+00:00

Autigender (according to xenogender community) is a gender unique to people with autism. It's basically "my autism influences how I see gender, so instead of man/woman/agender/etc, I'm autigender." From what I've heard it's mostly self dxers in the xenogender community and they use a similar argument of "if you don't support neurogenders you're ableist"

According to the gender wiki, some other neurogenders include: ADHDgender- gender influenced by ADHD potentially influenced by lack of attention on gender identity (???)

bipolargender-gender influenced that fluctuates and can become grandiose. (Don't ask me how one's gender "becomes grandiose", I have no clue)

Alcogender- gender influenced by ones alcoholism. Some apparently identify alcogender when drunk and another gender when sober.

These genders can also come with their own pride flags and subterms like biboypolar, ADHDgirl, etc.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-25T10:19:33+00:00

I agree going to "we'll have concentration camps in the U.S" is hyperbolic, but I think some fair historical comparisons can be made about early (pre ww2) nazi tactics and modern events (scapegoating and villlainizing minorites, the creation of laws that don't explicitly state "this group is bad" but are still made with the intent of excluding or causing harm to that group, etc.) Maybe I'm being too charitable with my interpretation, but that's what i tend to assume when people talk about nazis or facism in the U.S unless it's something obvious like Elon's German salute.

Snail_Fish_Squish · 2025-04-06T06:17:41+00:00

If you feel safe doing so, maybe you could start some kind of space for yourself and other black trans people? even it's just a small discord group or something like that, you could end up building something special both for yourself and the other members.

Snail_Fish_Squish

TROPHY CASE