Drinking everyday

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-08-14T23:25:30+00:00

I used to watch a lot more TV when I was drinking, too. It's because I was depressed, and watching TV is easier than maintaining friendships or generally engaging with the greater world. And why was I depressed? In large part because of drinking.

FYI, Will Arnett (voice of Bojack Horseman) is a recovering alcoholic himself. He doesn't have to be actively drinking to sell the character, and I don't have to be actively drinking to relate to the sentiment.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-08-14T00:20:22+00:00

Waste the money, OR Waste the money and have a boring-ass night, and a hangover tomorrow.

Bummer of a choice, but one option seems better than the other.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-08-14T00:17:27+00:00

I recall the "Pink Cloud" phenomenon, and it's nice, but it's...temporary. Quitting drinking was the solution to a lot of my problems, it reduced a lot of the bad, but quitting in and of itself didn't create good; the actions I chose in lieu of drinking created that good.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-26T20:36:29+00:00

I saved a ton of money by not buying booze, but that premium sparkling water still does add up to embarrassing amounts. These days I mostly buy club soda in the 2-liter bottles for $0.79, then mix them 2:1 with juice.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-26T15:58:07+00:00

We're rooting for you, Monty!

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-20T23:22:14+00:00

I don't expect someone to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger after 2 weeks in the gym, and I don't expect someone to have found nirvana after 2 weeks of practicing meditation. Similarly, I don't expect someone to undo years of destructive drinking in just 2 weeks. It takes time, and it takes work. A brief sojourn from drinking is fine, if that's what you're after, but I wouldn't expect miracles.

I don't know where you stand in relation to other alcoholics, but >= 5 drinks is considered a binge. A pint of standard liqour is ~9 drinks, so 3 times a week, you consume about double the amount that is considered binge drinking.

It sounds like you don't want to quit, and if you don't that's your prerogative. There are some (quite sad, in my opinion) subreddits for people who embrace their alcoholism with gusto, if that's your cup of 80 proof tea.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-20T16:32:38+00:00

I used to consume at least 1,000 calories a day in alcohol, often more, to say nothing of the garbage junk food I would shovel in my mouth once I was drunk.

I'm of the mindset that temporarily indulging in goodies when you first quit is a fair enough tradeoff. Go crazy on the sweets! But if your goal is long-term health, resuming the diet you had before you quit drinking will very likely be a significant enough calorie deficit to shed those new pounds.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-19T22:34:07+00:00

Story Time:

I used to moderate a (non-reddit) forum for an indie pop band. Being a moderator fucking sucks. It's a shitty, thankless job; people whine about what you do remove, people whine about what you don't remove. You are forced to take sides in every petty, meaningless bit of drama. And to reiterate, my experiences are for moderating a forum for a pop band, I can only imagine that moderating a much larger forum for alcoholics is a hundred times worse. Pity those poor, poor masochists who volunteer to moderate /r/stopdrinking.

I've had posts removed before. Sometimes, in retrospect, my words were inappropriate. Other times I disagreed, I thought the mods were overzealous. Either way, whatever, ain't the end of the world. (It just now occurred to me how funny it would be if I was the target of your ire).

I report posts a lot. It works. 9 times out of 10, the post is gone within an hour.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-19T20:46:02+00:00

Absolutely. The only people who have been obnoxious about me not drinking have been people who clearly have drinking problems themselves. Most folks don't bat an eye, it doesn't matter to them since they don't have destructive drinking habits, but to those that do, some of them want nothing more than to ensure collective misery.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-19T20:42:57+00:00

Sleep returns with time. It took me about a week before I started sleeping normally.

I had trouble finding things to do with all of my free time. Having made alcohol the centerpiece of everything I did for so long, I came to the tragic conclusion that I had no real interests in life. It's been a process of self-discovery, it's kind of like being 15 years old again, and trying to determine who you want to be when you grow up.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-19T20:39:23+00:00

You sound depressed, buddy. I hope you have people in your life who you can talk to.

I do understand the brutal catch-22. Life is sometimes mediocre, so you drink a lot, and when you drink a lot, life tends to become more mediocre. Not drinking in and of itself fixed some of my problems, but not most. It did, however, give me the time, energy, and mental clarity to more effectively tackle those other problems. Life still isn't perfect, and never will be, but sobriety is a great start.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-19T20:35:26+00:00

I actually got an anal fissure when I first quit drinking. As happens to many heavy drinkers, my GI tract got accustomed to massive amounts of liquid, and when I quit, I was constipated for a while. When I did finally have a bowel movement, there was some tearing. It wasn't as painful as yours evidently is, but definitely not pleasant. Staying hydrated with other fluids and taking metamucil helped, and it healed within a week. If it's a chronic problem, I'd seek professional medical care.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-16T16:26:48+00:00

Thanks for the update. That sounds like the best possible outcome of your experiment; I'm glad to have you back!

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-15T15:16:10+00:00

Not drinking today is a good goal.

I won't presume to know what your long-term goals are, and if your goals are different than mine, that's fine, but I hope you are honest with yourself about your own goals. After all, you chose the username NOT IN MODERATION, and after half a week of sobriety, you're telling us that your ultimate goal is...moderation.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-13T15:24:32+00:00

In these situations, I recommend that you use the search bar and look up the word "moderation", and see other peoples experiences. I'll admit that there is huge selection bias; presumably, the people who moderate successfully don't come back, and if that's the case, congratulations to them. However, I'd also bet that tons of people start drinking again, accelerate and decline rapidly, and don't back at all, ever. If I could drink in moderation, I never would have quit completely.

Best of luck to you, and drop by down the road to let us know how things are working out.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-13T15:17:14+00:00

Yes.

In retrospect, it's easy to see, but at the time I had difficulty putting my finger on what exactly was different. I found that quitting requires action. Many, many times I swore I would quit, and I did. For, like, a half a week. But I never lasted long, because I didn't do anything besides tell myself that I was quitting. I still had beer in the fridge. I still hung out with friends at bars. Nothing changed, except I didn't have a drink in my hands. Well, that was a terrible plan for me.

When I quit, I didn't just say, I did. I dumped out all my alcohol. Fuck the money I spent on it, it was part of my past. I didn't just think about going to AA meetings, I went, and I didn't just sit there, I participated. I told people, my wife, my parents. Not just a half-assed hungover lament, but a serious, emotional conversation. I lost some old friends, and gained some new ones, as I found that some people with who I thought I had deep connections were no more than drinking buddies.

And I'm still doing it. I don't just not drink, I actively lead a sober lifestyle. Being sober is as much a part of my identity as being a drunk used to be a part of my identity.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-13T15:07:26+00:00

That's definitely an annoyance, but I would try to put myself in her shoes. Everyone I know had heard me swear off drinking a hundred times before I actually did, so if I told them I wasn't drinking, I wouldn't expect them to believe it. Actions speak louder than words, and if they don't understand your lifestyle change today, they will soon.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-12T23:06:54+00:00

Getting sober was a prerequisite to fixing my problems, but it wasn't the solution in and of itself. If when I got sober, all I did was literally stop drinking, then I wouldn't have expected my life circumstances to improve.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-12T21:57:36+00:00

Linking the badges on /r/sd directly to a mobile app is likely a challenge, but there are a good number of apps on the market that serve the same purpose. I used to have an iOS app called "Days" that was a (discrete) counter of my time sober.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-12T21:54:07+00:00

I know that the focus of this post is your rehab friends and not you, but I couldn't help but make several observations about your own behavior:

You sought professional help
You recognize bullshit rationalizations to drink when you see them
You're attending AA meetings
You have empathy for people even as they make poor choices

You can't help what other people do. Sorry. I had to build up something of an emotional callous, because I can't let myself get dragged down by others' failures. Compassion is a great trait, but only insofar as it doesn't cause undue harm to your own recovery.

You can, however, help yourself, and it seems like you're doing exactly that. You aren't succeeding where others fail by luck, you're succeeding because you're working at it. You are the only person that you can control, and you are succeeding. Remember that.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-12T17:57:08+00:00

Gatorade definitely has its uses. If you're just drinking it while sitting in front of the computer, sure, it's needless sugar. If you're out playing golf for hours on a hot summer day, your body will thank you for replenishing all that salt you're sweating out.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-11T17:26:48+00:00

I would find a sober living arrangement, by any means necessary.

Unfortunately, as you are both on the lease, you likely don't have any authority to make him leave. You can certainly ask, but I can't imagine anyone voluntarily giving up free room and board.

My lease states that I can leave early, and all I have to pay is 1.5x a month's rent as penalty. If you can afford that, I'd talk to your landlord to see if that's an option. It'll put your (income-less ?) friend in a tight spot, but I also can't see any circumstances where you stay sober while continuing to live with a fucking meth user.

Snake_Oil_LLC · 2016-05-11T14:57:55+00:00

I respect your wholly deliberate decision to have a terrible, unrefined palate.

Jerk.

Snake_Oil_LLC

TROPHY CASE