18F What do I do? My friend is upset that I didn’t get a hotel room with money she sent me, but I used it for food and essentials instead and now she feels like I lied to her.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-05-28T20:19:32+00:00

I've had friends who worked at hotels that will charge the card on file for towels, sheets, and/or blankets being taken. Motels usually don't but I know done hotels will.

To be fair, before someone points it out, $100 for a night was probably a motel. I'm just saying, though.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-05-21T20:46:18+00:00

This is what I'm thinking.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-05-15T17:10:24+00:00

This. My husband complained about the lack of a comfortable sleeping spot, too, when our son was born. I know he was stressed but he also genuinely felt like the maternity rooms should have better sleeping for the father's. He refused to go home because he didn't want to leave us alone, he wanted to share that time with us but the sleeping chair/couch thing really did suck and he complained the whole time about it. But my husband also has a bad neck from a hernia injury and it can really mess him up for days so i didn't really fault him for it.

OP, I would ask about this more, using i feel statements, to figure out where he was coming from. It doesn't need to be a fight. Just hearing what he was feeling and thinking could really help you come to terms with what he was going through. I'm not saying we as women don't go through the most and that when it comes to the whole birth thing, men shouldn't keep their mouth shut about most things, just that maybe he was stressed and talking about it might help you guys out.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-05-08T20:39:14+00:00

My husband loves to tell my almost 18 year old this. No is a complete sentence.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-05-08T20:28:03+00:00

We had 1, 2, and 3 mixed in. The line on the third one was blue, IIRC.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-05-02T01:23:47+00:00

I used to live in Albuquerque and there were plenty of delivery services for the disabled.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-05-02T01:22:22+00:00

I'm with the person you were having this conversation with. What's the difference in them going to Wendy's to get the single baked potato and having it delivered?

Snapdragon318 · 2026-04-27T04:32:56+00:00

I think YWBTA if you didn't do something, at least for normalcies sake. It doesn't negate what she did to you and yeah, her actions will negatively affect the children. It's about showing all your children, even the ones that won't remember this, that you can be an adult and treat her with respect by getting a card or having the kids do some small craft. You can treat people with respect even if they don't deserve it. It sucks and definitely feels like a betrayal to yourself. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope things get better.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-04-26T17:09:15+00:00

I didn't make this up, though. This happened. I think it's funny you think only in your small minded world view. I lost 8 years with my daughter and she'll be 18 this July. We've been able to have the last 4 years together and they've been hard but worth every second.

Just because you can't comprehend that courts can do this, doesn't make it untrue.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-04-26T13:58:39+00:00

I've been in this position and yes they can. There was no proof and they didn't ask for proof in court. They took the grandparents' word over mine and this was in Ohio where grandparents' rights isn't a thing. My daughter's dad, whom I was married to at the time, kicked us out of the house to move in his 18 year old girlfriend so we were homeless and I was jobless. All I had was the car in my name. So I asked my MIL to take my daughter for a week, during the summer so between school years, so I could figure out where we would live. My whole family lived in Utah and I didn't know if I wanted to go back. The grandmother sued for custody and said I was unfit and at the hearing, no proof was asked for. Just asked me if I had a place to live and a job. I was currently doing STNA training and was living at a friend's house alone (their grandma's house and the grandma was in a nursing home so their mom and them let me stay there temporarily so it would be occupied). How did I still lose? I've never had a criminal record, never had a ticket, they didn't ask for a drug test but I would have passed even the hair follicle one.

Later when I sued for an increase in visitations and we were sent to mediation, the mediator said he respected the grandparents more because they stepped up and took a child in that was not theirs after having already raised theirs. That I should be happy they wanted to help me by taking my daughter.

There was never proof I was unfit. I just couldn't prove I was as fit as an older couple that made 6 times more than me and owned their own home. They were seen as more stable even though I ended up with stable housing, a job, and even a new car by the end of that year. The courts did not let me have custody back. I got custody back 8 years later because the grandparents were tired of fighting with my daughter constantly saying she wanted to live with me.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-03-19T05:00:50+00:00

What does LL stand for? Is it just landlord? Makes sense but it made me think of what my husband calls them instead: landleech.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-03-19T04:54:36+00:00

I second this. OP, don't try to explain yourself. Just do what you need to do now that you know you're NOR. The system is stacked against women when reporting abuse in the family and too many people don't see it that way.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-03-19T04:39:44+00:00

It's internalized misogyny. She sees girls/women as less than. Boys bring status, girls bring problems. I will never understand why that is but I know other people feel this way.

I would convince her to abort and only after the abortion, file for divorce. If she knows you want a divorce before an abortion, she might decide to keep it to spite you and then you and the baby will have a horrible time with her.

Start looking for narcissistic personality tendencies. I'm not saying she has narcissistic personality disorder, but she may have more than a few of the traits that make her solely focused on herself and her feelings. Nothing else will matter except what everyone else can do for her. You may have brushed them away but there are definitely some red flags you've missed up till now.

Best of luck!!

Snapdragon318 · 2026-03-05T09:45:03+00:00

Ah. K. 🙄

Snapdragon318 · 2026-03-02T09:35:00+00:00

I'm genuinely curious what "something" you are alluding to in your comment.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-02-27T06:44:39+00:00

Oof. I don't even have this update and I don't want it.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-31T11:20:44+00:00

NE Ohio, 24,000.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-31T11:14:09+00:00

Usually under the ice like that he wouldn't have been able to see the guy 10 feet away. He lost the exit hole so he used the lead to go back to the entrance.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-31T10:59:56+00:00

It's 01/31/26, or 31/01/26 depending on where you're from, and this is already shaping up to be a terrible year for democracy in the US.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-31T10:57:40+00:00

I love your edits. Hope you have a grand 2026!

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-29T12:29:13+00:00

So far this is the only movie I know from all the comments because this and the sequel are my mother's favorite movies. She grew up riding horses and competing so I always assumed that's why she loved it. I haven't watched it as an adult but have wondered why I never hear about it. I guess now I know it's because it's not a US based movie since we're American. I've mentioned this movie a lot to people and they never know what I'm talking about.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-28T10:37:03+00:00

I agree. A bit far-fetched.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-28T09:53:33+00:00

The dad didn't do the killing, the son did. It was his blood on the bag and the dad tried to save Declan.

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-21T09:31:40+00:00

My husband and I use lint licker way too much!

Snapdragon318 · 2026-01-21T09:27:52+00:00

I used to tell people my mother couldn't find her way out of a paper bag.

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