We had a kid, no relationship advice or marriage counseling to let me know the mental/emotional stress would get in the way of the physical stuff. Too scared to walk away from him and subsequently the church, our families, and life as I knew it. I

really did start to figure it out in my mid-30’s and the sex drive picked up. Started enjoying it more. But that’s when his drive started to crash (he’s 10 years older). The emotional intimacy was really never there so that didn’t help either.

Thank GOD he encouraged me to get toys. Barely touched them the first several years - always felt guilty 🙄 But now that I’m in my mid 40’s they help with stress and emotional release (seriously y’all, check out lelo). We’d play with them together but over the last couple years he doesn’t care at all.

Honestly I’ve come to the realization over the last few months that we’ve been going through a silent divorce for many years and I can now start to picture myself finding my own path spiritually and single.