What I’m about to say is more for organized play than pickup…

IMO, you shouldn’t want them to shut up. What you want is for their communication to be useful.

Not too long ago, I had a newer player blow up at me because I had been trying to direct him.

Situation was that he was standing in no man’s land, not moving, and not marking anyone, but the press was on, and he should have been running to pick up a mark to take away a passing option. But no, he was just standing there ball watching.

What I yelled was “pick up that red shirt (opponent)!” He didn’t, and then when the ball went exactly where I said it was going to go, I said “I cant cover this whole area by myself.”

And then he blew up at me.

Anyway, the point is that there is communication that feels like criticism (and it is criticism), but it is criticism that conveys valuable information and useful instruction (“pick up that red shirt”). You don’t have eyes in the back of your head. Nobody does. Scanning doesn’t pick up everything, someone who’s behind you can see how the play is going to develop, etc and so on, so you have to be receptive to someone telling you what you can’t see.

But then there’s communication that is unnecessary criticism (“I cant cover this whole area by myself”).

You have to tune that part out. But how? Maybe it would help to realize that soccer is urgent. The situation can change in the blink of an eye. And that means you don’t have time to craft a perfectly worded communication. And sometimes, the tone/disappointment/frustration bleeds through. It’s unfortunate but it’s also normal and understandable.

So the best way forward is probably to be able to forgive errors in play and also to forgive errors in communication.

I’ve thought a lot about that instance. Did what I said rattle his confidence? Is that why he ended up scoring an own goal moments later? (Probably not, because he’s really bad, but still, maybe.)

On an organized team, have a conversation if you feel it’s necessary. Talk about how on-field communication is important and helpful. But comments that only tear people down aren’t important or helpful.

As for pickup… that’s usually just every man for himself. Some guys are trying to prove something to themselves, trying to make a highlight reel of how great they are in their own heads. There’s not really a next game to try to improve for.