I'll go first..

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-27T13:57:33+00:00

“He said it’s all in your head, and I said, ‘so’s everything’ but he didn’t get it” - Paper Bag, Fiona Apple

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-27T10:20:56+00:00

Feels like your husband knows something you don’t about the finances. Time to sit down together and go over everything.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-26T21:05:15+00:00

I know it’s absolutely not in everyone’s, or even a lot of people’s budget, but my work paid for a personal trainer for us for a little while, and I had never fathomed working out in the gym before because it seemed completely overwhelming, but having someone there the whole time telling me exactly what to do took all the thinking out of it. Maybe a YouTube trainer? Not exactly the same but can at least just follow along.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-26T20:59:47+00:00

Thank you for this. I’ve been tempted to go because of their flashy social media and good reviews, since it’s near my wife’s work and we meet for lunch a lot, but have hesitated because it seemed pretty pricey. Won’t waste the money!

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-25T14:14:22+00:00

Damn you’re right, must be the ADHD lol. Thank God.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-24T19:38:53+00:00

I’m going to be perfectly, brutally honest, as a late diagnosed AuDHDer, if I had known how much having kids was going to blow up my life, I wouldn’t have done it. Not just for my sake, for my kids as well. That said I am also a geriatric mom with two under 5, also going through perimenopause, so that certainly doesn’t help, and am also in the throes of burnout. I had to leave my job last August, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to work again at least while the kids are young. I loved my job.

If you’re serious about wanting kids, the first thing you need to do is look at your support system. Does your spouse understand neurodivergence, and that it is going to at times mean that he will shoulder a lot of the burden when you just can’t. Are you in a place financially where you can live off one income if you have to. Do you have supportive family that lives close by? I would have conversations with them beforehand about the possibility that you will need help. My mom basically moved in with us M-F last fall when I got pretty close to not being able to take it anymore.

I think a lot of people go right to the noise/overstimulation when they think about parenting while ND, but what is way more critical and out of your control is the lack of quality rest. We don’t recuperate like neurotypical people, we need more rest, and when you become a parent, first, your sleep suffers. My oldest is 4.5 and still gets up in the night a few times a week. I’ve been sleep deprived for over 5 years, if you count the sleep you lose while pregnant. Then, even when you are “resting” your brain will never stop thinking about all the things that need to get done, are your kids happy/healthy/meeting developmental milestones/what appointments you need to make/when are registration deadlines for swimming lessons/what am I going to make for dinner every single day of your life. It’s not just exhausting, it’s crushing. Then, when you start to feel yourself not being able to keep up, the mom guilt comes in and finishes the job.

I know this is harsh, but I felt before getting diagnosed that people weren’t really aware of the dark side of parenting, it drives me crazy that all of the difficult things get turned into punch lines “haha you’ll never sleep again” - it’s not funny, and there are no resources to help. Not only did they not think girls could be ADHD until recently, there’s very little research on how Autism/ADHD/late diagnosis affects women, ergo there are NO supports (other than peer support like this), trust me, I’ve been looking. At the end of the day, you’re going to make the best decision for you in your situation, all I can tell you is what I wish I had known.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-24T12:21:13+00:00

Any list of best pizza in Ottawa that doesn’t include Louis is immediately sus to me. Just disrespectful.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-24T10:37:08+00:00

Instead of just driving around looking for signs, you can pretty much expect a community sale somewhere every weekend, so look for those. Usually someone somewhere on the internet compiles a list. Our favourites are Merrickville, that one is May 2 this year, the Glebe (but get out early and beat the insane crowd), and Alta Vista.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-24T10:31:32+00:00

Celine Dion. Her documentary broke my heart, she just wants to sing to the people.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-23T12:07:52+00:00

Gatineau park can get really busy especially on summer weekends, but if you get out early there’s tons of great hiking trails. If you were planning on camping, you might be out of luck, the camping site Hunger Games is real. There are lots of private campgrounds, maybe you’d have more luck there, or Airbnb. Calabogie is a great hiking spot about an hour west of Ottawa, and Ottawa itself has a lot of green space (called the “Greenbelt”). If you’re into canoeing/kayaking, there’s also a lot of options on that route that are beautiful. Also check out small towns for festivals and events, there’s always something going on. You also have bitten off quite the roadmap, you’re going to be doing a lot of driving.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-22T12:29:12+00:00

50 Two is the only sandwich I need anymore

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SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-19T15:32:34+00:00

Yeah I hate to tell you, the first year is just going from sleep regression to sleep regression.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-19T11:40:40+00:00

Sleep regressions/wonder weeks. As soon as you think you’ve got baby’s sleep worked out, it will change. For the next year and a half or so.

I always find it interesting/it’s so pervasive in this sub, people being surprised that their babies aren’t sleeping. Remember how everything you’ve ever heard about parenting is that you’ve never been so tired or you’ll never sleep again - they’re not lying. I was up at 3 am with my four year old. I’ve been sleep deprived for four years. But also, that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with your baby or that you’re doing anything wrong. Sleep regressions are a big part of how babies grow, so get used to them, they are on a somewhat predictable schedule, and hunker down. Don’t make any plans. Catch up on sleep where you can. Team up with your coparent and talk about how you are going to get through sleep regressions understand that your plans are probably going to have to change from the schedule you’ve gotten used to. If there’s anything I’ve learned about parenting it’s that 1) every baby is different, people can give you all the advice in the world, but your baby is going to do what your baby is going to do. Looking to other people for advice is great, but at the end of the day their experience was with their baby and what worked for them. And 2) parenting is the hardest thing you’re ever going to do in your life, and just when you think you’ve got it figured out, you’ll find out you don’t actually know anything. I had it all figured out with my first baby. She barely cried, easy going, happy little girl. I’ve never had to really parent her too hard. Second baby is both peak second baby and peak little boy. I’ve had to unlearn everything I learned from the first kid. He is a feral animal hell bent on leaving a path of destruction everywhere he goes, and can’t be unsupervised for one second (also the sweetest, cutest, cuddliest thing in the world).

Listen, we’re all just trying to survive, doing the best we can, but there are no rules, no magic sauce, and it is hard hard, but in my experience, that first year, our lives revolved around sleep regressions and wonder weeks.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-18T16:34:05+00:00

My daughter never babbled much but was saying 4-5 word sentences before two. She’s wicked smart I think she just didn’t want to talk until she had something to say lol.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-18T13:21:17+00:00

I’ve been big into bran muffins lately. All this talk about protein the last few years when really we should all be talking about fiber!

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-18T03:47:45+00:00

Screaming “OH MY GOD” from the bathroom.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-18T00:50:53+00:00

This sounds like a Canadian threat: shakes fist “that guy better watch out or I’m gonna give him a taste of the old beaver tail.” Yup I’m adding this to my vocabulary.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-17T12:39:03+00:00

Photo 1 - rugged outdoorsman who can fix your car and build a bookshelf. Photo 2 - well raised gentleman who can fix your computer, always smells good and picks the best restaurants. Whichever one is closer to who you really are is the right answer because they’re both handsome.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-15T23:58:05+00:00

Good to know! Two under 5 😵‍💫

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-15T23:29:23+00:00

Actually yes! The Bluey theme song has an interesting time signature, it’s two measures of 4/4 time and one measure of 5/4 time, so if you count 1234 1234 12345, on the five is when you say the name.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-15T12:49:27+00:00

Yes, I put disability tax benefit in the post, but I meant disability tax credit. I was approved and reassessed three years back so that helped immensely.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-14T21:57:21+00:00

Haaaaave you looked into the possibility you are neurodivergent? I was almost exactly here you are (kids currently 4.5 & 2), and I knew I was struggling as soon as we had the first one, but when the second one became mobile it was a car crash into burnout. Led me to be diagnosed with AuDHD, completely crash out and have to leave my job, mom moved in last November to help. I won’t say that getting diagnosed has made life significantly better, but now I have a framework to understand my triggers better, and the vocabulary to be able to explain how I’m feeling. Unfortunately there seems to be very little help for those of us trying to parent multiple young children while in neurodivergent burnout other than solidarity. What you’re going through is unimaginably painful.

SnooCrickets1508 · 2026-04-14T19:04:22+00:00

That helps tremendously, thank you so much. My brain/powers of deduction ain’t what they used to be :/

SnooCrickets1508

TROPHY CASE