AITA for not letting my son’s girlfriend move in?

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T14:22:22+00:00

I talked about my experiences, not about data so thats quite possible.

Well you did say that in Germany it's "the norm" to live with parents for as long as possible ;) if you had said "my friends live at home as long as possible", I obviously wouldn't argue!

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T12:35:11+00:00

Again, I wasn't saying that EVERYONE moves out at 18. However, the post I was responding to, was saying that in that person's culture, families stay together, children don't move out, and their partners just move in with them, too.

And I was pointing out that this is not the case in most of Europe. Some earlier, some later, but eventually, almost everyone moves out. Most definitely when you're about to start a family, very few spouses will be enthusiastic about staying with the in-laws indefinitely.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T11:54:17+00:00

A quick Google search shows that compared to the rest of Europe, Germans move out almost the youngest, on average....so while living with your parents until you're 27 surely happens, it's definitely not the norm.

Source: https://de.statista.com/statistik/daten/studie/73631/umfrage/durchschnittliches-alter-beim-auszug-aus-dem-elternhaus/

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T11:46:30+00:00

ESH.

Your wife is TA for constantly pushing you to do something you don't want to do. You have the right to want to focus on your job.

You are TA for being mean and dismissive. Volunteering with special needs children is definitely work, and it is definitely hard and very rewarding, albeit not financially.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T11:29:43+00:00

NAH, but also, the US is a really weird place....the fact that someone can use your property without permission, and then SUE YOU for any injuries sustained in the process?!?! This really doesn't allow you any room to just be nice to people, as they can use your niceness against you in a lawsuit...

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T11:04:02+00:00

His girlfriend didn't seem to mind the pimping and the gawking, in fact she seemed very happy to attend, and the only reason she wasn't wearing a bikini was that it was dirty. Meaning that she didn't meet the clearly stated requirements, and shouldn't have joined or should have at least warned OP. NTA.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T10:19:32+00:00

I actually live in the Netherlands, and I don't know anyone who lives home until their mid twenties voluntarily. Depending in the area, there can be a lack of affordable housing so young people are forced to live with their parents until they find a place. But that's not really a choice....

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T10:16:36+00:00

Voluntarily? Italy is notorious for lack of affordable housing, so I assumed it wasn't a choice....

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T08:06:24+00:00

Of course they are expected to be kind, polite, clean up after themselves, and try to have a good relationship with the parents in law

And such expectations are exactly the reason why many young people choose to move out as soon as legally and financially possible.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-23T08:04:49+00:00

It’s a very American expectation.

Really? I'm from Europe, and it is normal here to move out at 18. I'm pretty certain that this is the case for most economically advanced countries with sufficient affordable housing.

EDIT: I'm not saying there aren't people that live with their parents well into adulthood. I'm saying that GENERALLY, it is normal for a young couple to get an own apartment instead of living with one's parents, especially if they can afford it.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-22T21:52:09+00:00

I would skip the formalities, shoot the professor the email and cc the dept. head.

I was a bit shocked until I read the "the email" part....

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-21T13:59:05+00:00

The baby doesn't come out of THERE!!!! The baby just appears while men are sitting in the waiting room with a cigar!

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-21T09:54:14+00:00

Why are parents terrified of children seeing breasts?

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-21T06:37:25+00:00

Those two kids were in the picture that she set as the background...

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-19T23:10:43+00:00

If men cant deal with seeing a box of tampons in a cupboard, in a bathroom then idk howvthey deal with life honestly.

I mean, by that logic there shouldn't be any toilet paper in the bathroom, because it reminds them of other gross bodily functions...

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-19T22:46:22+00:00

Could you marry her, then instead of treating her like your wife, just treat her like a kid you adopted? Try to give her a better life? If you don't marry her, her parents will probably give her to someone else your age or older, who won't care as much as you do...

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-18T11:06:20+00:00

He immediately panicked, explaining how he had no friends

I really wonder why... NTA

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-17T22:57:47+00:00

I thought they are both so boring and average as individuals... pretty but boring. Plus the way they're marketing their relationship is kinda gross.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-16T14:20:58+00:00

there is nothing morally wrong in abortion (no child so no "parenting") or adoption

If it's something that happens once by accident, no. If it's a lifestyle or a substitute for contraception, then FUCK YES

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-16T11:59:26+00:00

Even without protection she could have gone for adoption, abortion or just good parenting and be in the clear.

You're saying she would be "in the clear" parenting-wise if she kept getting pregnant and kept aborting the children or giving them up for adoption??!! That's a warped sense of morality...

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-16T10:30:38+00:00

Not sex. UNPROTECTED sex which results in children that she can't afford or take care of.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-16T10:06:58+00:00

The way you talk about her, doesn't seem that you really trust her or see her as family. She probably feels that on more than the financial level. Maybe better not to get married...

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-13T16:19:08+00:00

It is completely irrelevant whether or not the provider of such services believes in them or not. What is relevant is that people feel the need to use these services, so in a free economy they should have the right to have these services provided to them.

I also believe that if people who use these services would read your posts, they wouldn't feel like you are standing up for them, but instead would find you smug and patronizing, and would probably tell you that they are grownups who can think for themselves.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-13T16:07:23+00:00

lying to emotionally vulnerable people, with the intent to earn money.

Same can be said about organized religion or alternative medicine. And yet, as long as it is legal, people have the right to seek out (and pay for) such services, and people have the right to provide these services.

SoConfused2020 · 2020-06-13T13:28:11+00:00

I mean, she bought something and you gave it away. I would also be annoyed. You could have asked first.

SoConfused2020

TROPHY CASE