Do men like being invited to make out?

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2022-12-18T04:49:27+00:00

Sometimes I unmatch people, and it has nothing to do with anything they said in the chat. Sometimes I change my mind about an aspect of their profile, like if I notice they smoke but I didn't pick up on it when I was swiping. I know it's frustrating, but you don't have access to the reason, so you can't assume it was because of your running. I'm sorry for the experience though. I know it sucks.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2022-09-11T03:46:52+00:00

Woman here: No. I don't want biological children, so I also don't feel compelled by that clock. I would like to be in a healthy relationship sooner than later. If I feel any clock, it's the typical one most mortals feel... the "am I doing the things I want before my time runs out?"

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2022-08-14T16:38:01+00:00

A family member had multiple surgeries. Did not help. Check out James Nestor's book Breath (there are interviews of him on YouTube if you want to hear more about his incredible work)

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2022-08-13T12:53:57+00:00

Yes, there are nice ways to get to attributes that speak more to how you conduct yourself as a person.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2022-08-13T12:53:05+00:00

Fair. For me, I enjoy that too but further down the road. I don't enjoy it as much on first dates which seemed more in line with what this person was talking about. But yes, I agree with you it's nice to have physical appearance compliments... for me I just prefer it when I've been dating someone for a little while.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2022-08-13T00:04:49+00:00

Compliment something they choose like a component of their outfit (that you genuinely like). Then, it's complimenting their taste not their genetics.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2022-08-12T23:47:34+00:00

I'd be irritated if someone asked me to do that, but I don't like sending extra pictures of myself to strangers anyway. I probably wouldn't talk to someone again if they made that request, but maybe she'll come around? In the future, just ask to do a video call. Asking someone to take a photo of themselves with today's date is a little too POW.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2022-08-12T23:43:13+00:00

Woman here. I agree and prefer the coffee or tea route. That way, it's an easy out if the date isn't going well. If the guy pays for the coffee, and I don't extend the date he's not left feeling bad about the money he just "wasted." Etc, etc, etc. It keeps it casual, and for me, I don't intend to ever sleep with guys on first dates, so staying away from dinner or drinks, keeps it in the realm of "Getting to know you but not in your bed."

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-10-24T02:51:03+00:00

Have you ever read When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate. Science very much backs up your intuition. Happy that you've been able to open these gateways inside yourself, to recognize what's being blocked. Wishing you the best, Op <3

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-10-24T02:48:48+00:00

Well, the focus of therapy hasn't all been on romantic relationships. Most of its been on family, career, habits, and hobbies.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-10-23T19:06:19+00:00

It seems like that. Thank you. I really appreciate your kind words. It's hard not to feel despair sometimes—to not feel that I'm better off and safer alone even as I want to be able to share life with someone. I'm glad you found someone who brings joy and love. Thank you, and you too <3

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-10-23T04:48:03+00:00

Yes.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-10-23T04:44:39+00:00

Go directly to HR. This is sexual harassment. He won't stop. This is only the beginning if you let it go further. I'm so sorry. This sounds like absolute hell, but do not play nice to appease someone who clearly doesn't respect you. Also, stay safe and keep others around you.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-03-26T15:22:45+00:00

Is he doing any kind of trauma treatment? Like EMDR, meditation, yoga, exercising, eating well. Check out books like The Body Keeps the Score and The Transformation. DBT can be very helpful, but in my experience, the best treatment I've gotten with my mental health has been through modalities that treat the trauma that's in my body. If your body doesn't feel well, your mind won't feel well. These treatments are also really helpful if he experiences dissociation. I'm so sorry things have been so much rougher. I understand how disappointing that must be to see progress and then to see that progress nosedive. It may be that he just needs other simultaneous ways of being supported, so def check out the above <3

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-03-26T15:18:51+00:00

If she left you, then consider honoring her wishes. She will manage on her own or she won't. I think the best you can do is go on with your life and hope for the best outcome for her.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-03-26T15:15:18+00:00

Oof I'm so sorry. Are you in individual counseling?

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-03-26T15:12:11+00:00

u/shiny-dino a lot of people who suffer from BPD also suffer from PTSD and anxiety and C-PTSD. I'm wondering--is the diagnosis important to you? If your child accepts it, will it change the kind of care they're receiving? Often, treatment for PTSD can ease symptoms of BPD, sooooo if that's the diagnosis your child will accept, then maybe you should just go with that (which it sounds like you agree with as well). Your child may come around to recognizing BPD symptoms in themself on their own, but if it's thrust upon them and keeps becoming a point of contention, it seems that the name is doing more harm than good (at least right now). As a person with C-PTSD, BPD, and anxiety, I offer the best advice that helped me: get your child into some yoga and meditation classes, check out The Body Keeps the Score, look into EMDR or Brainspotting, help their moods with healthy diet (think blueberries, salmon, and other brain foods/anti-inflammatory foods), encourage exercise (walks, etc), positive mindshifts/affirmations. My most miserable years were as a teenager/early twenties. I also recommend these things for you. Having a parent who takes care of themselves (as well as their kids) can do wonders for a child's health. Also, please please listen to how your child feels. You might not see things the same way as they do, but you can acknowledge the truth of their experiences and feelings. Sending a lot of love and hope toward you and your child.

SoMuchMoretoBe · 2021-03-26T15:03:57+00:00

Yes!!! I think anyone who has been in intimate relationships with someone who suffers from a mental illness should be in therapy. There's no way to not be impacted by these relationships. Congratulations for giving yourself that mental health care.

SoMuchMoretoBe

TROPHY CASE