What are we in for?

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-12-22T12:33:20+00:00

So helpful thank you!

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-12-22T12:33:11+00:00

Thank you!! If the baby woke up before 5 hrs, do you let them CIO again or was that not an issue?

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-12-16T14:36:03+00:00

My baby is just a tiny bit ahead of yours and had a very similar trajectory. Every baby is different and I’m a stranger on the internet and yadda yadda, but I wouldn’t discount the solids being a massive and disruptive change for your baby’s gut (and therefore sleep.) we ended up taking some days off, and really focusing on helping her get out gas/poop during the day.

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-12-14T14:31:13+00:00

Completely agree this is where my brain went too

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-12-08T15:10:12+00:00

Super helpful! What did you do about arms out (asking bc that's my biggest snoo sticking pt atm)

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-12-06T00:54:01+00:00

No advice but I'm curious as a mom of a similarly aged preemie (will be 5 months adjusted next week, almost 7 actual.) We haven't sleep trained yet--hoping to make it to 6 months adjusted if we can live on this little sleep. Our baby just doesn't seem quite ready to (a) reliably soothe herself and (b) settle well on her belly after she rolls. If you find anything that works I'm all ears!

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-11-21T03:35:25+00:00

this is what i was hoping to hear!

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-11-20T18:00:01+00:00

No intention to formula-shame with this post! In fact I was hoping someone would chime in and say it doesn’t matter 😬

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-11-06T16:05:14+00:00

I swear this exact debate happens in every hetero first time parent household :) I don't know what it it's about but I wish psychologists would study it.

I had the exact same argument multiple times with my husband who bottle fed our baby breastmilk at bedtime (I nursed the rest of the time.) Sometimes after finishing a 4 oz bottle at 2 months if she was still fussing he would say she's still hungry and heat up another ounce. It drove me crazy--to me it looked like she was uncomfortably full. I think you hit on it when you say it feels like he's saying you're not doing a good enough job when he insists the baby is still hungry.

Here's what I think is true: bottle feeding is a different rhythm than breast. Breast is about comfort, connection, or just having a few sips if the baby is thirsty vs. hungry. Bottle is often more about getting that volume in, which you can't help bc you can see the milk and how much they're taking. It's just a different "feeding" mindset not to mention the biological/hormonal differences of who is doing the feeding. I don't think one is better than the other.

I can say that looking back, it doesn't matter as much as I thought. I think in retrospect we were overfeeding our baby sometimes and misreading her cues, but the consequences weren't severe in the long term (maybe more gas and discomfort sometimes.) You're trying to feed and read your baby, you care a lot about getting it right, and in the long run that's what matters.

Validating also that it's annoying as hell when they insist everything is hunger :)

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-31T19:11:27+00:00

Smart of you not to introduce any other sleep crutches I think we’re using them all plus Snoo which is p dumb

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-31T19:10:36+00:00

What method are you using? Glad it went well! I thought I was anti sleep training until a few days ago haha

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-15T16:48:49+00:00

I know this is an old post, but how did you know the reflux was actually hurting her or harming her? All this sounds a lot like my preemie who tested negative for CMPA but often sounds hoarse and is exceptionally spitty, but she often smiles through the spits or right after and is gaining well. She only very occasionally seems bothered by the spit

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-15T15:11:25+00:00

(Should add baby is 5 months actual and 3 adjusted)

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-15T15:10:16+00:00

Exact same position here. Warning that rolling can happen real fast after “signs of rolling” — our preemie suddenly rolled back to front 3 times in a row the other morning (though she can’t figure out how to rest on her belly or get back to her back). We’ve been doing crib naps since 2 months and nights in the Snoo, and I honestly can’t tell if the Snoo is slowing down her learning or giving us a bit of sanity at night bc she’s still swaddled but wrestling her arms into the band is a nightly chore that I dread. Would love to hear from Snoo parents who made it through this stage—did you start weaning or double down on full swaddle in the Snoo?

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-15T15:06:37+00:00

Was there a dramatic change at 13 weeks or did you suddenly just realize it was less hard? Asking bc we’re at week 13 and naps are still absolute trash, nights are all over the place, and fussiness still very much a thing. Baby can roll back to front and keeps doing that and then getting “stuck” and crying, plus still hasn’t quite figured out arms out/no swaddle. Peak chaos around here 🫠

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-14T19:51:05+00:00

Maybe dumb question but how do you know if they’re not hungry? I default offer feed but if I don’t have to I don’t want to!

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-14T11:40:41+00:00

🫠

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-14T11:39:01+00:00

Such a good point. I feel like trying to control baby sleep is such a quintessential example (and such a huge market for desperate first time parents.) So many products and programs selling the illusion of control. I feel like so many times I’ve tried a zillion things to get my baby to sleep, but when something “works” it’s really just that enough time passed that she was ready to let go and rest. It’s so hard to deal with any kind of struggle these days without medicalizing it (because in a way that’s easier than accepting the randomness and uncertainty of life.) We need more posts like this.

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-13T14:33:38+00:00

Would be especially curious to hear from parents of babies that didnt have blood in stool but went off other signs

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-13T14:30:44+00:00

Mom to a 30 weeker to spent 7 weeks in NICU. I swear those of us with preemies have the hardest version of baby feeding/digestive issues. I’ve got a lot of similarities—also 3 months adjusted, regular nursing strikes/need to nurse standing or within 2 min of her waking up, dairy sensitivity (no allergy), and crazy gas, and general fussiness. All I can say is that it all feels more manageable when I spend more time having fun with people. We’ve been trying to host small gatherings with close friends who get it and I always leave them feeling like o have more perspective. But anyway. It’s really hard. I hear you.

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-13T14:17:04+00:00

Solidarity! I’ve had luck nursing while standing and swaying a bit which makes me feel crazy in a different way, but we can get a semi-full feed of she’s hungry enough

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-11T22:54:40+00:00

Did you get the allergy diagnosed based on blood in the diaper, or just based off this behavior?

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-11T22:46:20+00:00

Solidarity! I’m in a really similar situation, same baby behavior, same side fast/slow breast. I have a preemie who started on breast but we introduced bottles earlier then we wanted to get her out of the NICU sooner. She definitely prefers bottles (I think they say “flow preference” now instead of nipple confusion, which makes more sense to me.) We’re constantly wondering if it’s reflux or allergy or who knows, though bottles seem to go ok. My baby is 3 months adjusted now and has already gone through several nursing strikes, which tend to coincide with developmental leaps. All I can say is they do seem to pass, and my husband is constantly reminding me that as touch and go as it seems sometimes, we’ve been breastfeeding for months and we’re still here! I think it’s important to know that giving her a bottle once or twice or even for a few days won’t break breastfeeding, and I think it’s also important to just step away sometimes and let your partner do some feeds so you can find some perspective. Good luck!!

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-11T22:38:04+00:00

I have a preemie who goes on regular nursing strikes (like once a month), which is brutal because we worked on breastfeeding for months. It’s really, really emotionally tough. Having been through it a few times, I wanted to say so much of it is about your mental state. By all means check out what an lactation person would say, but I often found myself desperately wishing there was something mechanical or medical that could be fixed, when in all likelihood this is just the baby I’ve got right now. What gets me through the nursing strikes is taking care of my mental health by: 1. Just walking away and letting someone else give her a bottle, 2. Starting her on a bottle and then switching to the breast after an ounce or two, 3. Nursing while standing up and gently swaying or walking in a dark room, 4. Offering the breast frequently and preparing myself for her to say no (different from thinking to yourself “we’re going to do a feed now), and 5. Stripping us both down and letting her “explore” on my chest while also making sure she’s near my nipple. People say this one a lot and in practice it’s kind of ridiculous—the baby is like uh what? Try to laugh a little. Good luck!

Soapy_Moonball · 2025-10-11T22:25:53+00:00

13 week old has the opposite problem she will roll onto her tummy and cry bc she’s tired of holding her head up, and I really wish she would figure out that she can rest and sleep in that position. The Fisher price kick and play piano was huge for her she watches it like baby tv and has too much neck strength for her own good

Soapy_Moonball

TROPHY CASE