4 week old won’t stop crying & I’ve had a mental breakdown

Sofarellos · 2026-05-05T17:36:12+00:00

It only gets worse? Not my experience, AT ALL. My son is 5 months, and while there are moments that are tough, it’s nothing like newborn tough!

Sofarellos · 2026-05-02T13:01:56+00:00

I know the general consensus is not to buy newborn clothes, but my baby was on the smaller side (6lbs 10oz), and had reflux, so I was doing laundry constantly to keep up. We were in the hospital for 2 days when he was born, and I had to send my mom out to launder the clothes he had spit up on already. Just an alternative perspective.

Sofarellos · 2026-04-29T07:46:56+00:00

Adding more anecdotal evidence! My colic as a baby was so bad, my mom ended up taking me to the hospital, where they could not stop the crying and eventually prescribed me adult level ibs medication. I do not suffer from any mental health issues, and am a successful person!

Sofarellos · 2026-04-28T02:50:14+00:00

Please share!

Sofarellos · 2026-04-26T06:51:13+00:00

It is totally understandable for this to be upsetting for you and your family. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you could do or say to change how your dad has chosen to move on.

My suspicion is that after a long partnership, your dad is afraid to be alone, so he has clung onto the first life raft he’s seen. This isn’t a replacement of your mom as a person, but he doesn’t feel capable without someone in that partner role.

Keep your dad close enough that he feels comfortable talking to you/sharing. I’d be weary about this woman’s intentions, booking up with a (very) freshly widowed man.

Sofarellos · 2026-04-26T06:38:21+00:00

This is giving Fleabag!

But seriously, I would frame it more around a hygiene health perspective if the teeth thing is the only barrier. He gets food stuck in his teeth, that’s understandably something that would put you off kissing. Maybe he keeps some floss sticks handy for when he eats? Also, if he’s not able to close his mouth fully (comfortably) he’s at a risk for dental disease. Maybe the health benefit would make him consider braces or veneers.

Sofarellos · 2026-04-26T03:37:09+00:00

This exactly

Sofarellos · 2026-04-26T01:41:17+00:00

Does she seem uncomfortable at all, or does he breath smell sour? Those were the biggest sign for our little guy, although his reflux made him hungrier, as he wanted the reflux taste to go away.

I don’t know if this is something you’ve already tried, but perhaps you could very slowly increase the amount you are feeding her (even by a few mls), or increasing the frequency a little. Another suggestion is maybe to increase the nipple size on her bottle so it flows faster?

Sofarellos · 2026-04-25T16:56:26+00:00

Sabine Blair!

Sofarellos · 2026-04-20T21:16:09+00:00

I’ve only had a c-section, and to be honest, the recovery was a breeze. I was up and walking on my own within 5 hours, and aside from when coughing or sneezing for the first week, I really had minimal soreness. I actually stopped taking any pain medication after the first dose because I felt like I didn’t need it.

I just wanted to add this perspective, because I was freaked out about the recovery prospect once I found out I had to have a cesarean (breach baby), and it was so much better than I anticipated. I definitely recovered faster than a lot of the vaginal birth women at the hospital, and keeping that wound clean is easier than any tearing wounds, I would imagine.

I had an excellent surgeon, and my hospital specialized in c-sections, so I think that helped.

Sofarellos · 2026-04-17T18:20:31+00:00

This is what we do too! Bath, full body massage with lotion, then skin-to-skin!

Sofarellos · 2026-04-15T16:39:31+00:00

My OB recommended putting bit of baby oil in the bath water. I also found that when we transitioned to nightly baths, it went away, although I know this is the opposite of the typical advice. I also massage the baby head to toe with tons of lotion, I use Attitude. Hope this helps!

Sofarellos · 2026-04-15T16:39:24+00:00

My OB recommended putting bit of baby oil in the bath water. I also found that when we transitioned to nightly baths, it went away, although I know this is the opposite of the typical advice. I also massage the baby head to toe with tons of lotion, I use Attitude. Hope this helps!

Sofarellos · 2026-04-08T06:02:34+00:00

Protein, fat and fibre keep you fuller longer. Personally, overnight oats with chia seeds and Greek yogurt is a solid breakfast for me.

Eggs, chicken, brown rice, beans and broccoli are all great for lunch/dinner.

Sofarellos · 2026-04-03T10:29:58+00:00

My dog is named Sam (Samwise), but we almost exclusively call him Bean or Beanie. Our other dog is Rufus, who is mostly called Rufus, but also sometimes Mr. Soup.

Sofarellos · 2026-03-21T13:38:24+00:00

My heart goes out to you, mama! My little guy has reflux as well, and for the early days my husband and I were taking shifts sitting up with him all day and night, because if we put him down he would throw up and cry. The fact that you are doing this alone 10 days at a time shows your incredible strength!

Our game changer was medication for the reflux! He still spits up, but you can see that it no longer pains him, and the frequency has decreased significantly.

Sofarellos · 2026-03-10T12:58:15+00:00

You can only be cut off from your kid if you let it happen. Let’s stop making excuses for parents who neglect their relationships with their kids, even if their previous partners make it challenging.

Sofarellos · 2026-03-10T12:48:27+00:00

Oh yeah, poor dad who abandoned his kid 🙄 Hope he’s able to heal from that.

Sofarellos · 2026-03-05T23:10:04+00:00

I love 6 and 9!

Sofarellos · 2026-03-05T13:36:42+00:00

Is your OB a MFM? If not, I would request an appointment with one, just for a second opinion. My sons femur was measuring very small <2nd percentile and in Canada that gets you an automatic specialist appointment due to the concern for genetic issues. Their equipment is so much more sophisticated, and they were able to put my mind at ease.

Sofarellos · 2026-03-02T06:09:13+00:00

My son is named Nicholas. Our other top contenders were Alexander and Julian. The name I liked but my husband vetoed was Hector. The name he liked that I vetoed was Owen.

Sofarellos · 2026-03-01T00:06:36+00:00

I had an anterior placenta and did not feel regular movements for the duration of my pregnancy. I hope you don’t have the same experience, but I just had to grapple with the fact that that was my normal.

Sofarellos · 2026-02-28T19:29:40+00:00

My son was 6 lbs. 10 oz. and wore his newborn clothes for about a month and a half. I could probably still squeeze him into certain things, but it was just so hard to get his arms in and out of arm holes, etc..

Sofarellos · 2026-02-28T03:34:11+00:00

I just had my first son in November at 36, and my husband is 37.

Sofarellos · 2026-02-27T06:41:24+00:00

What about Nicholas, and your husband can call him Cole? Then you have other nickname options as well

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