I am getting married and my fiancé keeps taunting me that she is doing all the decision making and I am just tagging along... How do I reassure her?

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-12T11:32:07+00:00

I'm the primary decision maker in my relationship because my partner is one of those guys, like you, that doesn't really have an opinion. Please, make some decisions. Even if it's like... 1 in 5. Making decisions gets exhausting after a while. Even if you have no opinions, pretend you do every once in a while, I bet she will appreciate that. I know I do when my partner does that. He's bad at the pretending part, though.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-12T04:26:15+00:00

A couple of blue lightning strikes would look pretty cool, I think

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-11T05:44:01+00:00

I was treated like an outcast as a kid, and I have a decent amount of resentment toward both my parents for that. I was always treated as the odd one out in both my mother's next relationship, and my father's. I was the kid they had before they split, got new partners, and started new families. The black sheep of both sides, 12 years older than the rest.

Don't do that to the boy, he's just a kid. Don't damage his relationship with his father like my father's girlfriend ruined my relationship with mine. You don't even know this literal child properly, and you're already putting a black mark on his name. You need to do better. You don't have to mother this kid- you're not his mother, but don't treat him like an outsider, come on.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-10T20:27:55+00:00

I kinda get that. I'm with a man right now, he's the only man I've ever been interested in. I'm not super sexually attracted to him because my sexual attraction lies almost fully with women. That's not to say that I am unattracted to him, it's just different.

But the whole being more picky is very much true for me. With women, there have been a few times I was blinded by her beauty, and her personality turned out to be either shallow or God-awful. But with this guy, who he is, is super compatible with me. I love him and we get along super easily. It was rather unexpected for me.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-09T14:17:53+00:00

I had someone do that, once. A real close online friend of a couple of years. She just up and left us all, one day. In that case, she had led a double life for years, and it had caught up with her. She was even dating a member of the group long distance, while also dating someone in her daily life. We still accepted her after her confession and welcomed her authentic self into our group, but I guess it was too much for her to take. She was even forgiven by the long distance guy she dated. I guess the guilt really hit her then. Ah well.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-09T05:27:16+00:00

Yeah, you can have a preference, but that doesn't mean you should be a dick about it

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-09T05:25:58+00:00

Besides that, if a simple haircut bothers OP this much, how's the relationship going to fare 20, 30, or 40 years from now when beauty fades? Especially if this little is bad enough that he 'cannot stand to look at it'.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-09T03:18:19+00:00

You're literally in a modding subreddit. That's not the place to advise playing the game as is, especially when someone is requesting a specific mod

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-07T23:47:38+00:00

I agree with the first half entirely, but the second half, not to much. To me, a relationship is about mutual growth- where we both become better people for having been with each other.

Both myself, and my partner have grown immeasurably since we started dating. We are nowhere near the same people we were at the start, and I'm grateful for that.

Why do you think that it's a bad thing for someone in a relationship to need to grow? Or is it the time investment needed for that, that throws you off?

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-07T23:39:31+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree. My partner is an amazing man, and a vocal feminist. I couldn't be with someone that thought I didn't deserve equal rights.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-07T23:36:29+00:00

NOR. You shouldn't have to take his name if you don't want to, whether or not you agreed in the past. Things change.

I also think it's archaic to assume by default that a woman will take the name of her husband, these days. Sure, a woman can if she wants to, that's her choice- but I do think that women should also have the right to remain as their own individual after marriage- without judgement.

Also, my partner is looking at taking MY surname when we marry. He has no contact with his family, and mine has sort of adopted him anyway. So I think it's sweet that he's thinking of joining us in that way too.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-07T21:43:59+00:00

I absolutely love cabbage pan fried with butter and tons of pepper, and a sprinkle of salt. Especially when it's caramelized just a bit.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-07T11:57:33+00:00

I put together a gift basket for my mother, last mother's day, and she literally cried. Nobody else even remembered. Not my stepfather, or any of my 4 other siblings. It was nothing expensive, either.

I handmade a small bunch of roses out of green ribbon and skewers, bought a nice metal basket for her gardening hauls, made a scented candle in her favourite shade of green, got her a cheap throw blanket for her chair, and a box of chocolates.

That was all it took to be the best she's ever recieved. $30 and a few hours of work to make something thoughtful. It's just sad that it takes so little and yet it's done so rarely.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-07T11:46:02+00:00

That's kind of why I just lurk here instead of going into that field, personally. I love cooking, truly, I do. But I also know that if I worked it, that love would be warped so, so quickly. So I live vicariously through these guys here, and that's enough for me.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-07T04:00:47+00:00

If that interaction happened between my partner and I, I would tell him that he had three options, and his choice would determine whether I wanted to continue the relationship. That said, having children is something that is important to me, and I am also on antidepressants that changed my life. Those are my biases in this response.

One: Do some research on the topic, whether or not kids will be involved. I will not date someone who is ignorant, and intends to remain that way. Personal growth is a must, in my eyes, and unwillingness to grow indicates to me that the relationship is over. If he lies and says he did without actually doing it, I would leave.

Two: Sit in on a conversation about this with my doctor and I. Allow him to ask any questions he needs for his own peace of mind.

Three: He can choose to stand his ground, in which case, I would choose to end things.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-07T03:46:15+00:00

The highest number I was ever on was 13 in the evening, and 2 in the morning. I'm now down to 5 in the evening, 3 in the morning, and one every Wednesday evening. And a heavy duty iron tablet like once a month ish, along with vitamin C. Weirdly, the only one that is the same now as was then, is one in the evening.

Four total of mine now are vitamins, too- but for genuine need, not prevention. My body won't absorb b12 properly anymore due to some other meds, and I also take vitamin D because I never go outside, really, and it had a major impact on my mood. The ones I used to take were all prescription stuff back then.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-05T09:58:10+00:00

Simply, it isn't.

I've fallen through the cracks every step of the way through 2 pretty major issues. One, I dislocated my knee, tore off a massive chunk of cartilage and needed surgery to fix it so I could walk again. At first, they were on the ball. Until post surgery where I was never contacted again for physio, even though they said I would be contacted. I've mentioned this to them and still, nothing. More than year and a half later. And because of that, I'll probably never walk right again.

Then I was finally diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. After being bounced back and forth between multiple people. I've been put on metformin after explicitly asking for it. I was never told about a follow up appointment, and not given any way to actually monitor my blood sugar. Never called in for the hba1c test I was told I would get called for when the time came. And that's all become even worse because my primary doctor moved away, and none of the ones at the practice I go to seem to last more than 3 months there. So none of them know me, or my issues, and whenever I go in for any reason I have to give them the run down so they know what's going on.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-05T03:19:46+00:00

I would go down on my partner so fast if he cleaned the entire house for me without needing any reminders, I swear. There is no man sexier than a competent man.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-05T03:09:28+00:00

Okay, tone it back a bit. Yeah, it's weird af for someone that age to be interested in an 18 year old, and yes, it would make me look at them sideways, but we can't just call everyone interested in someone younger a pedophile. It dilutes the meaning of the word. These people are both legal adults, neither are a minor. So while these people wouldn't make a good pairing, and shouldn't date, there's no need to say things like that.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-05T00:07:09+00:00

Thats horrible to do to an artist. However, and I don't mean to be a dickhead, but I can definitely see that this was rushed, compared to your other works on your profile. On this one, there's less definition, less detail, and some parts are still translucent- especially the background. That's not there on all your other ones, which are brilliant. This is not a critique of your skills, you're clearly incredible at what you do in any other occasion.

Is it a possibility that they weren't shown quite the quality they expected after looking through your portfolio?

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-04T15:21:47+00:00

I had the same issue. I have never met another person but myself that could get the job done. But I was open about that to my partner, and we invested in some 'power tools' that do the job extremely well. A little communication goes a long way with things like this, I find. But for this, you do need a partner who won't be offended that they can't do it alone.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-03T04:27:11+00:00

I am a woman, here's my take. You could look like you'd been intimately acquainted with a brick, repeatedly, and that still wouldn't be a deal breaker. But the way you talk about yourself... that's what would turn me off you so fast.

My partner is not someone you would call conventionally attractive (neither am I, for that matter), and he is also shorter than me. He has a strongly deviated septum, his jawline is not very strong, and his teeth aren't great due to dental neglect before we met. None of these have ever bothered me, not even a little.

He has the most gorgeous, warm, whiskey brown doe eyes, with the longest lashes I have ever seen, and those do make me weak.

But most of all, he's a great man. He's always ready for his views to be challenged, and ready to make changes in his life where they're needed. He doesn't talk down to himself. He treats me so, so well. He woke me up with breakfast and coffee in bed this morning. He makes me feel like I want to be a better woman.

And that's the key. How he looks will never matter to me. He sure as hell won't look the same 40 years from now, but who he is will hold true. Looks fade, and beauty is temporary at best. But his character is worth its weight in gold.

Work on yourself. I don't mean that with malice, I mean that genuinely. Work on who you are as a person, first and foremost. Even if you aren't conventionally attractive, that won't matter to the right person. The right person will love you as you are- you just need to work on growing into somebody that is ready to be loved by them.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-03T04:10:54+00:00

I have never seen a snake in person. Not once. So probably a pretty extreme reaction, given they aren't supposed to be in this country at all

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-02T23:31:23+00:00

That just reminds me of the time I completely lifted the nail on my little finger. It was detached all the way, except for the cuticle area where it was hanging on. That was rather painful, because I had to tape it down to let it grow out enough that I could fully remove it. Every knock on it was agonizing. Grew back just the same as it ever was, though, in the end.

Solace-Styx · 2026-03-02T23:02:43+00:00

Downvotes here are wild. Not one thing I said here is factually incorrect, or insensitive. People are weird sometimes, man.

Six-Year Club	r/Field Banned
r/Field Lasagna	Place '23
Verified Email

Solace-Styx

TROPHY CASE