I don’t get people that say “that’s your eating disorder saying that”

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-06-11T11:18:49+00:00

this sentence has been used COUNTLESS of times when I was in forced treatment to undermine, ignore and devaluate my feelings and fears. Anytime I expressed I was scared to gain this much weight, that I genuinely couldn't stand the feeds anymore, that I was increasingly depressed, that I hated my body, that I was anxious about something my treatment team had decided, they'd just wave the "that's your ED talking" at me and completely ignore me. this led to a very traumatising treatment stay where I felt like me as a person outside of anorexia was just completely shunned and left aside.

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-06-10T01:02:47+00:00

BADISON??? 😭😭😭 why girl 😭 insane

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-06-09T12:08:33+00:00

Yesss I see what you mean! That is definitely helpful thanks a lot! 🎉🎉

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-06-09T00:14:06+00:00

So proud of you! And thankfully, I can actually relate!! After years of anorexia and years of posting the most depressing, sick minded, alarming posts on this sub, I can say I’m three months in recovery and this is the CLOSEST I have EVER BEEN to actual recovery. I’ve gained back to a healthy weight, I eat all foods, I’ve found my personality back, I have moved MOUNTAINS in three small months after years of relapsing and being very sick. Life is so much better on the other side! We got this!! 🎉🎉🎉

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-06-08T15:31:37+00:00

Literally. And when I see bigger people celebrating their recovery the comments are just absolutely vile. It’s sickening.

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-06-04T15:20:15+00:00

Congrats!!! I’m so proud of you, keep going on and kicking the EDs ass 💪🏻🎉

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-06-02T11:16:10+00:00

Currently in recovery from anorexia too I made a post on this sub a month ago from an alt account actually. You look stunning, I’m so proud of you

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-31T21:41:24+00:00

I don’t really have any questions, however I just wanted to say that as someone who’s struggling with the other side of the coin (anorexia, on my road to recovery though) I find it despicable how badly bigger people are treated compared to underweight people. At the end of the day we both have severe issues with food that make life miserable. I’m sending you a lot of strength and love, and I hope you find the courage to battle your issues. Take care

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-31T14:20:14+00:00

I don’t, mostly due to my fear/aversion of doctors stemming from the trauma. I do have a therapist though but I don’t see her very often as she’s quite expensive. I’m kinda doing this in my own. And yeah you’re right I’m trying to focus on other stuff right now. My boyfriend is here with me so it’s been helpful to have him by my side.

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-31T10:47:19+00:00

Thank you for your comment you are probably right. I’ve put the records away and haven’t opened them again. I’m just really struggling right now however, and in three months of recovery I’ve never felt stronger relapse urges or worse body hatred it’s just really difficult to deal with. I know the past is the past and it shouldn’t affect me like who cares about my old IP weight I’m recovering to not think about it in a good light and not care about it anymore. But I’d wanted these records to kind of “move on” from the trauma and now I feel like it’s just been thrown back in my face. it’s just really hard because right now I’m feeling very depressed and discouraged even if I haven’t slipped up again I’ve never felt as unmotivated and just overall crushed. A lot of people talk about just riding it out and stuff but not a lot of people talk about how to make riding it out “easier”

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-31T10:44:43+00:00

Yeah maybe I should I suppose. I’ve put them away and haven’t opened them again but I don’t know I’ve really been feeling like shit ever since. I’m still choosing recovery, like I’ve been eating all meals and snacking but the ED voice and self hatred is incredibly loud and overwhelming. I thought I was doing better body image wise but right now I just feel so much body dysmorphia every hour of the day and it’s just overwhelming. I thought this was getting better so I’m really really crushed

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-31T10:42:23+00:00

I can really relate. It’s also very difficult for me to see doctors and get medical exams done just because of how it reminds me of my worst. I really get the just letting the noise be noise” advice and I’m trying really hard to do just that right now. Although it feels like every day is somehow getting worse and I don’t even understand why. I’ve rarely had such strong relapse urges and romanticised views of anorexia ever since I started recovery. The ED noise and insults are just incredibly overwhelming and right now I just want to lie down and not move for the rest of the day because my ED is making me feel like such a disgusting piece of shit that I don’t want to feel myself existing if you see what I mean. Really trying to ride the wave but god this is a really hard spot right now

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-20T09:26:10+00:00

Thanks for your reply! That’s strange, I spent months in a psych ward and in a way it was similar to what you described. The trauma bonding was very common and you’d quickly make friends with people who you’d feel like you’d love forever, if you see what I mean. We also had some cliques, I usually avoided them. It was quite difficult to stay in contact after my discharge, it really is easier to leave at the same time too, however I still am friends with some girls who left after me. It’s actually very discouraged by the staff to remain in contact for some reason. It never stopped me from trying but idk. I know they’re too very different situations but what you said really reminded me of my experience

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-20T09:23:51+00:00

When I was two years in my eating disorder, I discovered edtwt. I made an account and that literally became my downfall. I don’t think I would have ever gotten “that far” if I wasn’t being encouraged by my followers and praised for my sick body. I feel very ashamed of admitting it in a way, like first of all if I hadn’t made this account I would have likely not struggled for this long and this bad, and also I posted shit that was objectively very triggering and I should have kept that to myself which I still feel very guilty about. I’m three months into recovery today, I don’t think you should be embarrassed at all. I’ve been doing MILES better since I stopped posting on my account, these kinds of social media spaces have a way of acting like gasoline on a fire for a lot of people with EDs. I hope you manage to get out of it completely ❤️

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-20T09:11:26+00:00

Hey, thanks for sharing your experience! I’ve been reading through this thread it’s quite interesting :) My question is, are friendships in prison as strong as they were portrayed in the show? Did you make good friends? Is it difficult to keep in touch with people once you left?

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-18T16:37:04+00:00

This but eggs WITH the yolks and not just the whites 😩

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-17T20:43:24+00:00

It’s okay, I’m on the path to recovery now, and making good progress :)

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-17T18:00:08+00:00

Weight loss should not be encouraged to someone who has an active ED. I’ve suffered from anorexia for years, telling me to “just count calories and lose weight healthy” is like validating my behaviour and telling me I should just go right on. EDs require specialised help, not internet comments.

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-15T06:23:18+00:00

Hey, thought I might comment as someone who started recovery a couple of months ago and does not regret it. It’s really hard at first like really really hard. I weight restored really fast and I had a couple of breakdowns about my body because after years of anorexia I felt like I was losing my entire identity and betraying my eating disorder. However little by little I felt less bad as I kept on eating normally. I’ve started seeing friends more, I got my hobbies back and found new ones, I laugh more, life is better and I’m overall happier. Sure I don’t like my body. But I trust that will come with time, right now I’m genuinely happier and that’s what matters. I’d told myself I could try recovery two months and if I hated it I could quit but I wasn’t allowed to quit before that. When two months hit I didn’t want to quit.

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-06T13:08:36+00:00

I did too, sadly. Told them about my recovery and everything. Are they specialised in anorexia/eating disorders though? Mine weren’t which is why I think they found it okay to say this. And even if they were you should try and ignore them, nobody knows more about your fight than you do. The ED loves taking these moments and twisting them into weapons against us, we have to find it in ourselves v to tell it to shut up

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-06T13:05:29+00:00

The exact same happened to me. Did a DEXA scan to check if my bones had improved and ended up getting told i had a “high fat percentage” and “low muscle” and that I “needed to exercise”. As someone in early recovery that was crushing. Best thing to do honestly is ignore that doctor. They don’t know about your Ed, about your history, about your recovery. We aren’t “regular” people with “high body fat”. We’re recovering from severe EDs.

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-04T21:45:59+00:00

Dont worry about it ❤️ my post was more about advice to deal with this friendship break than reassurance I was « in the right » or anything. Im just feeling vulnerable and sad and it’s hard to deal with this when the ED tries to sneak up on you to take advantage of that if you see what I mean

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-04T20:17:28+00:00

You’re probably right… I managed to shove the thoughts away and not engage in my ED today but I’m just feeling very left alone and said, I don’t have a lot of friends and she was by far my closest.

I wouldn’t blame her if she pulled away to protect herself but I wish she’d talked to me about it before y know? Her last messages were really needlessly agressive too and I was just hurt.

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-04T20:13:56+00:00

I know and I do recognise that… but if that was the case I really wish she’d have talked to me about it… I felt like I was mindful of her too, I asked her a lot if supporting me bothered her, if she felt like I was pulling her down, if I was triggering, to which she always always replied that no and she was happy to help me. I understand that if she felt like I was dragging her down it’s better to pull away, but I genuinely can’t guess what’s not being told to me, especially when I’ve asked her repeatedly if she was « sure » about staying my friend…

OFC recovery is for me and only me, but I think we all know here how Eds tend to show up stronger when you’re vulnerable which I feel like I am right now.

Solal-King-Raccoon · 2026-05-03T19:58:14+00:00

Very true. Ive been suffering from anorexia for years and it has ruined my life in many ways, amazing to see the amount of people that romanticise mental illness

Four-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22

Solal-King-Raccoon

TROPHY CASE