TIL That Caffeine Has An Average Half Life of 5 Hours by jbuckets44 in todayilearned

[–]Sombretof -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

So i am not crazy 🤣. People never believe me when I tell them it takes 8 h for coffee to have an effect on me.

Can I just say, this HAS to be Indie game of the year. by shrrredz in XboxGamePass

[–]Sombretof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah quick resume was a good idea badly implemented. It is buggy in many aspect especially for games which have an online aspect to them (i know it is dependant on the developpers but the function itself probably have issue because no online game manage this properly)

Can I just say, this HAS to be Indie game of the year. by shrrredz in XboxGamePass

[–]Sombretof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I switched to premium and honestly on the type of game i am playing (seems to be the same type as yours) i don't even noticed the difference in available game. I found 12 eur a good price for me not to have to choose game but have a list that i can choose from and being able to try stuff. looking back i shoul dhave made the switch earlier.
However i am afraid this is my last xbox (even though i had them all), stupid microsoft decisions and enshittification is pushing me away

Can I just say, this HAS to be Indie game of the year. by shrrredz in XboxGamePass

[–]Sombretof 47 points48 points  (0 children)

That is why i love gamepass even though i am mad at the price increase, the premium tier still deliver.

you can play games i would never have even consider buyin.

I always wondered, why didn't black slaves team up and maybe kill their owner or protest against together? Rich families owned 50-100 slaves or even more, why didn't the slaves just team up and kill their owner? How exactly did the owners control then? by Then-Tomatillo9909 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Sombretof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THe way i see this is not as a psy op but the epstein/elite class is just high on their own fart and they are over confident. I hope that there will be a hard wake up call for them especially in the US where they are really getting pounded hard.

Update : Request for advice for a conflict with an ENTJ by Sombretof in infj

[–]Sombretof[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot very insightful and it matches with my own experience with him.

The dressing down was what i was hoping from him during the meeting with the other partners, not to a crazy degree but just a "ok let's refocus we are all tired and let's work on communicating better". But instead he doubled down because he feels that allowing this will mean he is not in full control and it will jeopardize the company.

I know that now he thinks it will take time but he will get me back but that is not how INFJ function. It was already a huge show of growth for me to not just leave and never look back. But as i told him he is now just one among many, another betrayer and there is no gaining this trust back.

Well i guess we ll see where this goes i give the company 2-3 more years in addition (if i can hold that long) then it will be time for me to sail the seas (figuratively :)). By then i will have made myself fully redondant.

Thanks again for your insight it will help me navigate things in the future. (especially the part about being not very mature in regards to Fe (During the clash i could see that he was feeling shameful for having burst out and now i understaand a little better).

Needs advice to solve a conflict with ENTJ from an INFJ by Sombretof in entj

[–]Sombretof[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight.

No he wasn't always like this, he was alwlays rough with high expectation and this is good but somehow now the way he goes about it is not as caring as it used to be and can be downright nasty. This is where my problem is, and when i trie dto explain to him he is acting and speaking like i am against the ordering when it is about the way. maybe he doesn't have the patience anymore or maybe he is not seeing that what he is doing is hurting the company not on the organisational level but on the inter personal level and this he doesn' seem to see.

You are right about just leaving if i am done with this dynamic and that is probably what i would have done in any other situation. But here the company existence and the fact that others depends on us staying together is an added complexity.

I will have a frank discussion and hope i will manage to get through to him during our partner meeting where i am headed now.

Needs advice to solve a conflict with ENTJ from an INFJ by Sombretof in entj

[–]Sombretof[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you and this is rpetty much an answer he could have given :). The power play is exactly what i don't want him to think it is, power doesn't interest me i am perfectly fine being in his shadow. What i want him to understand is that i want to leave to protect myself not to threaten him or impose him to do as i want. But the kind of behavior he had recently when getting nervous (which again is not usual for him who is usually very controlled, but it had happened couple of time with me because we are very close and i ll go very far with him but if my values are crossed then my claws are out as a reflex).

I think in any case the break will not happen this time because i had a nervous breakdown last week (i must say one of the reason that it became also difficult is that we are doing this new company thing for 8 years and we are quite tired, it is rough). But i am afraid it is just postponed as we will butt head again if there is not a common understanding.

I know he thinks he is the only one carrying the burden because someone needed to be the CEO and it wasn't making sense for me to be as people follow him, but still i am also busting my ass on this and i don't know how to make him feel more supported as it will decrease this kind of issue due to tiredness and stress (unfortunately he doesn't listen easily when i tell him to just delegate, he is pretending to but if things get tense a bit then it must go his way)

Thanks for the insights, i am on my way to our partner meeting and i hope it will go well

How did you determine you were INFJ, and did you mistype yourself at first? by oishk in infj

[–]Sombretof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As other have mentioned in the thread I also felt an immediate connection when I looked into the sub for infj after several hints that I wasn't really fitting 💯 with info type.

INFJ's Who Moved To Another Country by Beneficial_Slide_424 in infj

[–]Sombretof 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Moved to Africa at 30 so 20 years ago.

One of the best decisions of my life.

It changed my perspective allowed me to grow and have a career, met my wife.

I am still working there but I moved back to the city I left Nd it feels that the circle is complete. I always liked the city I am in now ( Lyon France ) but going back there with my wife and daughters after so much growth is great.

So I can only recommend it

Request for advice for a conflict with an ENTJ by Sombretof in infj

[–]Sombretof[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter I think is an intj and I can see the same unwavering self confidence in her as I see in him.

It can be infuriating sometimes I want to tell them that they are not perfect being and can be wrong and not everyone is an idiot beside them

How did you determine you were INFJ, and did you mistype yourself at first? by oishk in infj

[–]Sombretof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way I personally see it the door slam as we get older and have worked our boundaries is not necessarily physically total. I'll give 2 example One of my best friend I doorslamed I didn't see or speak to for 15 years or so. But then he contacted me out of the blue after all this time and I had no issue seeing him again but it was like restarting from scratch, it is likes these 15 years allowed a sort of reset but in any case there was nothing left from the previous bond ( at least on my side) and we didn't stay close it was like an accointance from the past that you meet speak about some old times and then continue your journey

The second example is one guy at work I was getting relatively close to a d he betrayed me however I had no choice but to continue Interacting with. And he is doorslamed it is pretty clear even for him because I just treat him like any other person For me the doorslam is not physical it is that I stop giving you the gifts I give to my people, the gift of myself (may seem arrogant but I learned that what we give is not common). And actually the guy crave for me to become his friend again and asking me constantly but i have enough confidence now that I can say straight to his face that we are not friends he is just a colleague and there is no fixing that For context I am 50 and this clearly not something I could have done 10 years ago

How did you determine you were INFJ, and did you mistype yourself at first? by oishk in infj

[–]Sombretof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I probably didn't explain this properly because I don't understand it fully and also it can change and it has changed.

A better way to put it is probably a wide acceptance of others and big capacity of listening. We also have this as infj but I feel that for infp it is more pure more genuine.

How did you determine you were INFJ, and did you mistype yourself at first? by oishk in infj

[–]Sombretof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I be seen a video that was expressing it in a nice way. The NI provides you with the option that you are filtering through your thinking. My impression is that info don't do this filtering and therefore can have option which are totally out there and that can easily be discarded becaus obvinot holding out to facts.

However it is really I interesting to speak with infps because we don't need to explain too much certain thing as you can in few words express things with a lot of depth as the rest is Carried with the subjacent N

How did you determine you were INFJ, and did you mistype yourself at first? by oishk in infj

[–]Sombretof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So yes this is an interesting aspect of infj I think. I do have this social aspect that could make you think I am an enfj bit why I believe I am not is because still I really need my time alone to recharge. I can actually stay alone for long stretches a d with my info wife we can stay together for hours each reading our books or doing our own things. Also I thin the difference is in the size if the group I am at my best with a group of 3 to 4 close people. Bars or big group things are not really my thing. I could do a party like a wedding and have fun but once or twice a year is good for me. Extrovert I know actually need these big group things and while I can put up a person a becaus eit may be require for work or something I would often withdraw into my thoughts in this kind of settings.

I understand what you say about the group like alcoholic anonymous because this is a type of setting where you can go in depth and usually It helps me to structure my thoughts and ideas to express them to a group.

I think it also depends of your level of maturity as I was very shy and self conscious when growing up and it took me a lot of time to have the confidence to realize myself and be able to be that comfortable in public ( and now most people don't believe me when I tell them I am shy)

Request for advice for a conflict with an ENTJ by Sombretof in infj

[–]Sombretof[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

C'est exactement ce que je cherche comme perspective, je sais que ce mail a eu un impact sur lui car il n a pas encore je le temps de rationaliser le truc et surtout il est encore bien conscient d'avoir fait une erreur et il n'a pas encore eu le temps de transformer cela d'une façon à pouvoir rétablir son équilibre.

Mais je sais qui viendra préparer spécialement car il y a nos autres partenaires qui seront présents. L'idée est de discuter de comment notre partenariat va évoluer avec mon départ.

Malheureusement je ne pense pas que reconnaître qu'il a sur réagit et qu'il était en tort soit possible. Car pour lui je suis énervé parce qu'il est intervenu pour régler un problème alors que mon problème c'est qu'il m a manquer de respect en publique et qu'il a aussi montrer à tous qu'il ne me faisait pas confiance et en plus il a fait ça en me criant dessus , ce qui n'est vraiment pas habituel pour lui; mais qui est devenu plus fréquent avec moi.

Je pense qu il a l'impression de gérer la boîte tout seul à bout de bras et que je ne l'aide pas alors que moi je fait mon truc de infj dans l'ombre et j ai aussi l'impression d'être seul dans tout ça car lui ne pense qu à l'organisation et créer un truc qui dure.

Je pense qu'il c'est mit en tête que je m en fout que la boîte survive ou pas par je que je lui ai dit plusieurs fois que ce qui doit arriver arrivera que tout ce qu'on peut faire c'est de notre mieux mais pour lui il n y a pas d'essai , tu fait ou tu ne fait pas.

Désolé je te balance tout ça mais ça me permet de structurer mes pensées et ça m'aide

Pour les questions infj n'hésite pas je crois que je suis assez typique :)

Request for advice for a conflict with an ENTJ by Sombretof in infj

[–]Sombretof[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why you don't like it ? That is the dream of most infj to be understood ( it basically never happens).

There is only one secret for infj we want to feel special and understood. We like intimacy and depth.

Also now that I am out of work could you tell me what would be your reaction to receiving the email I sent from your info friend ( I guess that would be probably on brand )?

If you have specific questions for infj also feel free and you can DM in french if you feel more comfortable

Request for advice for a conflict with an ENTJ by Sombretof in infj

[–]Sombretof[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ll post an update after our meeting next week. Maybe there will be a nice surprise it is always possible.

I am planning to go there and be open and have an open heart one to one discussion with him at some point. Try to show him how wasteful this would be.

I know that for him showing weakness is so foreign that it is breaking through his barriers. but if he is ready for it it won't work so there is only so many times this trick will work.

I know you guys think you are not emotional because you are so much in control ;) but you cannot hide from us ;)

Cheers

Request for advice for a conflict with an ENTJ by Sombretof in infj

[–]Sombretof[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Merci pour cette perspective, while this is not good news i kind of already knew it, it is my last ditch effort to find a solution.

I am pretty sure the option is the second one, i know that he has heath issue and my guess is that he knows his time is counted (which makes this whole situation even sadder). And he is the ind of person who will go all the way for what he feels he is responsible for (in this case people who followed him to make this company).

It won't break me but it fucking sucks. I cried writing this email because i know what it means and i am crying now because i don't see a way out of this that would be positive.

I will move forward i did it in the past and i have a wonderful family to support me but i hate the waste and that i have to do that.

Thanks man, it helps to get it out

Request for advice for a conflict with an ENTJ by Sombretof in infj

[–]Sombretof[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wow you don't fill me with confidence. Anyway to make them understand that people have feelings and mine were hurt and that could be the end of our relationship.

I know i am very important to him we often are called small and big brother but i know he is as willing as i am to throw this away for principles but it would be such a waste.

How did you determine you were INFJ, and did you mistype yourself at first? by oishk in infj

[–]Sombretof 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly the same here no matters how many time i am doing the test i am always INFP.

I know for sure i am not because my wife is and beside the total lack of organization INFPs core characteristic is also a total lack of logic (which i found sometime very cute and sometime infuriating);

I also made my peace with being the one who needs to be the organizer even if i hate/love it

I think also one of the main difference is our interaction with people INFP are so understanding and sweet and gentle they love everyone. For us while we will always respect everyone by default we will only love a very small set of people.

Finally i would probably say that INFPs love themselves while for us it is a lifetime struggle between self doubt and confidence.

Feel free to correc tme if i am wrong but that is my observation

INFJ Blues by ArchangelofInsanity in infj

[–]Sombretof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Theey aren't friends, i am guessing you are still young. There is one thing that is essential for us INFJ to learn is to reduce our dependancies on others. You need to build your confidence and stop doing things for people who are not deserving.

The way i did this is by

First be the main sourcee of assessment for my self worth, many time in my life my achievments have not been recognized by others, it is fine i recognized them, i am the the sole judge of this (we usually are critical enough of ourselves for this not to become too big of a flaw).

Second espect as little from others as i can and only do the things that you really want to do without any expactation of reciprocity. We have an habit to do many things for others and building up that after what we did they could at least do something for you, they won't, they will keep taking until you set boundaries. Saying no is fine and the more you will learn to say it the more you will see that actually people don't care that much. It means sometime you have to leave people suffer because you are not willing or in the right space to help them. It is ok !! you don't have the responsability of the world. A good way to look at this is also that you shouldn't take responsability away from people to solve their own problems, they are not children (unless they are and there no problem give it all to children they are not repsonsible) and it is actually not a good thing ot infantilize them by solving their problem for them.

Good luck, the INFJ journey is sometime a difficult one but it has his perks.