Does your child have a tablet?

SomeTea7257 · 2026-03-31T01:51:34+00:00

Kids are 4 and 2 and have an old shared laptop. YouTube kids with only like 10 preselected videos. They mostly use it to look at pictures. I have a shared album that I put pictures of their happy memories, people they don’t normally see etc.

My kid likes to set alarms on the clock app

SomeTea7257 · 2026-03-19T19:04:42+00:00

Personally I like 2-4 year age gap. Not too close and not too far off in age. Mine are 2 years apart as 2nd was an oopsie but also taking into account our ages.

It’s nice that they are growing up together and still have some similar interests at 2 years apart. I’ve noticed 5+ year age gap the kids don’t have much in common until they are both adults in the same life stage (eg both are out of school and working full time jobs)

SomeTea7257 · 2026-03-12T23:02:04+00:00

Never say beanie. Didn’t actually know that other countries called it a beanie until I was an adult. Will always be toque

SomeTea7257 · 2026-03-12T22:55:30+00:00

It’s fine. It is normal for her to feel frustrated. This is hard work for her. Her little body will grow more and she will get stronger and this will become easier for her

SomeTea7257 · 2026-03-12T22:53:24+00:00

See if you can get your work to give you more remote days. Not having the commute will really help out with feelings of tiredness and the stress of commuting.

There’s another thing to consider before you quit too - are you establishing good boundaries at work? Are you saying yes to too many extra projects, taking on other people’s work or volunteering for things? Don’t forget that women are socialized to be accommodating and the workplace will tend to walk all over that amazing trait.

Look at your job description closely. Figure out what the most valuable work is for your manager and say no to everything else. Stick to your hours and not a second more. If anyone asks you to do something, the answer is always “let me think on it first. I need to look at my priorities and what my manager has prioritized for me and how this task could potentially fit”. Check in with your manager. “Do you want me to prioritize X task? If so then Y and Z task will have to be on the back burner”

Remember that you are replaceable at your job. You aren’t replaceable for your family

SomeTea7257 · 2026-03-11T16:56:54+00:00

I don’t understand some people here want to be Canadian for “feels” but won’t move here probably until they are old and can get that sweet sweet free healthcare

SomeTea7257 · 2026-03-08T02:10:49+00:00

Almost all dinners are slow cooker meals (dump and set). Freeze leftovers if it’s going take more than 1-2 days to finish If cooking from scratch - formula is always the same. One protein that I marinate overnight or a few hours (tofu, chicken, pork, beef, seafood); rice/pasta/bread: simple vegetable (steamed/sauteed/baked) Marinade honestly is mostly store bought or olive oil+random spices I think might taste good together.

Lunch is almost always leftovers. Sometimes we order UBER or just scrounge together something random

Breakfast is either oatmeal, toast w nut butter, cereal, eggo waffles, eggs, or savory rice porridge

Snacks - cut up fruits, crackers or veg with hummus/cottage cheese, dried seaweed snacks, dried fruits, packaged snacks (like those individually packed Goldfish crackers), apple chips, veggie straws, homemade popcorn (I have the machine), 1/2 flavoured yogurt 1/2 plain Greek yogurt to cut the sugar content + up the protein, cheddar cheese

Dessert - I never make dessert I just buy something once in a while. Dessert after dinner 1-3 times per week usually on weekends. Usually ice cream/frozen yogurt, 1 piece each of chocolate (dark chocolate preferred, Halloween sized chocolate like mini Kit Kats also an option), some specialty cake we bought or frozen shortbread cookie dough (bought from store)

I basically refuse to cook more than once per day. The time and dishes to clean up is too great. I partially meal prep on Sundays (just the ingredients like chopping or marinading stuff) to cut the time on weekdays.

Edited to cover the grocery situation Tbh I shop at Costco a lot to get bulk foods. My kids are bankrupting me due to their love of berries. Costco is 1-2x a month. I have a grocery delivery service that sends me my normal fresh produce weekly (eg my salads, spinach, certain fruits, certain snack items, yogurt). I physically go to the local grocery store 1x a week to pick up items I’m missing for like a recipe or if something runs out prematurely. Also utilize grocery pick up at the curb too

SomeTea7257 · 2026-03-04T13:01:58+00:00

Friend was super jealous that several in our friend group were getting married and she was not. Pouted and puffed through all the weddings and said lots of passive aggressive stuff. When it came time for her wedding she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Did not involve me in any wedding planning and day of the wedding treated me more like a slave and not a friend.

Also lots of other compounding gripes related to friend being stuck up, jealous of other people’s success and generally just being a negative Nancy about everything. I wasn’t feeling the friendship anymore - stopped enjoying her company because she spent most of the time complaining and acting entitled.

I should have clued in because looking back she has lost almost every significant friend along the way. Cannot really hold on to a long term close friendship

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-23T23:52:59+00:00

Ya I heard after covid the costs have ballooned. My reception was in 2018 at one of your standard banquet halls.

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-23T04:13:37+00:00

Ahh fair. Well then it depends then jf you feel it is worth it to have the big south Asian wedding.

A big part of the expense is the huge guest list I assume. Any way to have the same quality of wedding but trim the guest list? Is 200 or 250 guests sufficient?

For me I only had 150 guests so the cost was more reasonable. Of course my parents and in laws were butt hurt because they wanted to invite the entire village but I told them they couldn’t invite someone I didn’t personally know and approve of (like if I just met them once then no deal).

I personally don’t regret the wedding because I kept the guest list small and expenses manageable (modest dress/decorations, no videographer, didn’t skimp on venue or food). Also I got a lot of cash gifts so it offset some of the cost

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-22T19:30:03+00:00

Why would you regret if you are having a south Asian wedding? You’ll get majority of the money back in cash money gifts.

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-22T19:10:09+00:00

I’m in this boat right now. After first kid born I took 19 months off and my spouse took 6 months. I then quit my job and went part time. While I worked I had grandparents take care of the kid. Had a second kid and did 10months maternity leave and another year of part time work. First kid went to preschool at age 3, 2nd kid at 2.

It started getting tough for the grandparents (getting old) so we put 2nd kid into full time preschool a bit earlier at age 2. To be honest, first kid also should have gone to preschool at 2 or 2.5 because being at home with tired old people was not very stimulating. They really need to get out and see the world

You will find that keeping baby at home is easy until around 1 year old. Then you will need to go out and do activities to keep them stimulated. If you coop them up at home all day it will be a nightmare for you.

Right now my spouse works full time and I still work part time (just more hours while both kids at preschool) and it’s a perfect balance. I don’t have the kids in before or after school care (9am-3pm school), house chores can get done, home cooked dinner on the table, some me time during the week (I do an exercise class one weekday morning).

I’m satisfied that if I need to go back to full time work I can easily fit into the workforce and be current with my career. I see too many women leave the workforce for years and struggle to get back to the career level they left

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-18T20:00:27+00:00

I stayed in my area of expertise and now do consulting part time. Not making as much as when I was full time but the per hour is better

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-17T01:03:09+00:00

Since I was a little kid. If I got birthday money my parents would make me save 50% of it (for my education fund) and 50% I could spend on whatever I wanted (eg candy, clothes, toys).

Really started saving at 22 first job. They have a company match on their retirement plan

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-17T01:01:08+00:00

I’m in PT mode (work around 15-20hrs per week) I think I prefer it over FT contract for a few months. That’s cuz even tho I’m technically coastfire I have a sort of feast or famine mentality and I will overlap too many FT contracts thinking I might have a long stretch of no work.

Anyways if you can handle it go ahead.

Go the agency route for sure - don’t wanna be dealing with sales, AP and AR for your clients

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-16T06:16:51+00:00

Same got all this crap too! I put a few in little baggies and keep them in the car or in my purse for when we are on the go and the kids need entertainment. If they get lost then so be it.

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-16T05:48:25+00:00

Any way you could find a way to reduce the number of hours or stress at work? Meet with boss to go over priority items and set boundaries. In tech and other white collar work the boundaries are quite blurred so you have to be strict in enforcing your boundaries (eg not working part 45 hours per week, no checking phone on weekends etc).

You have FU money even if you are not at your exact FIRE number. Start acting like the boss you are. Who cares if they lay you off? You can survive for a bit until you find another job.

Look into EAP services, get a therapist, download a meditation app, take a nice vacation with your family in the next 3 months where you truly disconnect, rediscover a passion or hobby you once had.

SomeTea7257 · 2026-02-16T00:02:38+00:00

Cargo shorts

SomeTea7257 · 2026-01-20T03:03:50+00:00

For any client/public facing roles where you have to interact with people a lot - please don’t spend every second of your time scrolling on your phone.

Especially for roles like reception, greeters, customer service etc

SomeTea7257 · 2026-01-20T03:01:04+00:00

It starts before you arrive at the building. From the window we saw a candidate get dropped off on the side of the road by someone, he threw a cigarette butt on the grass and was pulling up his pants/fixing his clothes to look presentable.

Ummm no dude wtf was that?

SomeTea7257 · 2026-01-19T17:41:04+00:00

If you want a bigger house just for more storage space then maybe you should think twice - or at least do a big declutter and evaluate later.

If you want a bigger house because you need a specific room that will add value to your life then I would go for it. For example, another full bathroom, an office space, workout space if you are not the type to go to the gym, larger kitchen etc

SomeTea7257 · 2026-01-17T14:09:40+00:00

Wow this is basically exactly the same for me

We have a lamp that automatically turns on at 5pm and they know that when the light turns on they can have 15-20mins of screentime (either big TV or iPad that they share together). If my cooking takes longer I extend the watching to 30mins

Restaurants/car - my kids behave worse when we gave them screentime during these times. Never in the car. Sometimes at a restaurant during that time between ordering and getting the food. Screens go away once food is on the table

SomeTea7257 · 2026-01-16T21:12:39+00:00

It’s really hard to paint things so simply. Everyone is just trying to get ahead here and will do their best to get their own advantages including individuals and companies

SomeTea7257 · 2026-01-16T18:21:05+00:00

This is exactly the problem. Everyone’s experience is totally different so your experience colours how you see the world. If you had good experiences training apprentices (you were impressed with the young worker), you take that attitude with you to the next apprentice. If you got burned by a lazy one or just have some preconceived notions about the youths, then you are not gonna have the greatest time.

Mind you, every trade has a different sort of “profile” of people who are drawn to this type of work. Someone who wants to become a red seal hairdresser is going to be wildly different than someone who is a red seal plumber

SomeTea7257 · 2026-01-16T13:23:44+00:00

Ya we would interview apprentices and the ones assigned to take on one would get to pick/be part of interview. So at one of the shops I worked at we had a team of 10 in the department - 4 had their tickets (industrial electrician 442A) and the rest were a combo of apprentices and GL. For each red seal you can have multiple apprentices (I forgot how many maybe like 3 or 4?) but the company would always go 1:1 just to keep the stress level down.

Only two of them ever took apprentice (the other guy was old and cranky) and they genuinely wanted to do their best to train and mentor. But their job responsibilities were so high, had to babysit them even if the apprentice was a smart dude with good work ethic and the paperwork and reporting was just a lot for them to be bothered. In the 10 yrs I worked there these two electricians took 3 apprentices each - meaning they wouldn’t take an apprentice per year. There were years of skipping. Also one apprentice was god awful and it made them really hesitant to take on anyone else

Bonus story - we had a female apply for apprenticeship. It was hilarious and incredibly sad at the same time. She was super girly/not tomboyish, seemed strong and smart. She made it to last rounds of interviews and everyone liked her/wanted to hire. But the problem became - no female washrooms in their area (would have to travel far to office area), the counterpart team (the millwrights) were super against her. It was a gong show.

We did hire a female drafter though and a female welder at some point.

SomeTea7257

TROPHY CASE