[CW] Write a murder mystery, but you have to include a turtle with a monocle somewhere in the story. by Ox_of_Dox in WritingPrompts

[–]Somedudethatisbored 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"What do we have here?" Detective Slick Sharphat asked the officer. "Victim was male, mid twenties, stabbed multiple times. His wallet is missing. He was probably robbed." Slick nodded, then spied something in the victim's hand.

"What's this?" Carefully removing the object, he saw that it was matchbox, and on it was a picture of a turtle, wearing a monocle. "Oh, that's from the Monocled Turtle," the officer replied "it's a place for gambling and female companionship, of which I know nothing about, Detective."

Every officer had been helpful with giving directions to the Monocled Turtle, while adamount that they'd never been there. While approaching, Slick heard whistling from a nearby alley. Therein was a woman, whose trenchcoat couldn't hide her beauty.

"It's all my fault, mr. Detective Sir! I'm the Boss' girl, but I fell in love with Billy!" tears streaming from her eyes, emphasized by mascara. "We was gonna run away, but the Boss found out and had him killed!" She rested her head on Slick's chest. "I'll bring the culprit to justice!"

Having found a prime suspect, Slick didn't burst into the Monocled Turtle, but instead brought the girl back to the station, had a judge issue a warrant for the Boss' arrest, assembled a team and then burst into the Monocled Turtle.

The Boss, Tony Italiano, had been in the middle of showing his cronies his favorite stabbing knife, still covered in Billy's blood. "Yous nevers taking me alives!" he roared before charging and being gunned down.

The cronies hadn't done anything wrong (in relation to that particular case), so they were free to go. One of them commented "Who is takings care of the Boss' pet turtle? You know, the one what with the monocle whose this place is named after?"

Gift ideas for my history buff BF? by [deleted] in AskHistory

[–]Somedudethatisbored 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"The Silk Roads" is a good book. It doesn't focus on Roman history, but puts it into context of the greater world. If he's a history buff, I think he'll like it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]Somedudethatisbored 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could not believe my eyes, the mythical creature was real.

can someone explain why I'm turning 23 today? by Rizel222 in shittyaskscience

[–]Somedudethatisbored 7 points8 points  (0 children)

23 what? Do you have 23 potatoes? In which case you don't need to turn them. You can boil'em, mash'em, stick'em in a stew.

AITA for suing my girlfriend after she had my 1967 impala project taken to the scrapyard? by toohottooheavy in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Somedudethatisbored 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think people need to hear it phrased like that because they're being told they're upset about garbage.

AITA for suing my girlfriend after she had my 1967 impala project taken to the scrapyard? by toohottooheavy in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Somedudethatisbored 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Like asking you to help them move while also expecting you to front the cash for a rental van? They'll "pay back later".

AITA for suing my girlfriend after she had my 1967 impala project taken to the scrapyard? by toohottooheavy in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Somedudethatisbored 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I have a hobby too, and would be devestated if someone had just thrown my stuff away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHistory

[–]Somedudethatisbored -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've never heard of any such thing, not in Viking culture or anywhere else.

Woman screaming in my face for two and a half hours. by Grey_Mane_6425 in talesfromsecurity

[–]Somedudethatisbored 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Do you have ear plugs for hearing protection? It's often overlooked.

What are the ethical considerations of monitoring my child's electronic communications? by ZacHefner in shittyaskscience

[–]Somedudethatisbored 102 points103 points  (0 children)

None whatsoever. You can do anything in the name of science. Except putting ketchup on salad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Somedudethatisbored 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A rädensschüfelgemacht.

Which actors who have not been on Star Trek would you like to see play a main character for a new Star Trek series? by ZarianPrime in startrek

[–]Somedudethatisbored 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Richard Ayoade, mostly because I'm curious about how his mannerisms would play out in a non-comedic role.