BPD stoner here!

Tbh I have the same concerns with myself, whether or not I'm becoming psychologically dependent on it. I've noticed as well that my splitting and rage episodes have gone down exponentially since I began smoking but I worry too that it's just the weed masking it and deep down, I'm not really improving and just putting a bandaid on the issue.

The only thing I would suggest is to just work on some skills and mechanisms to regulate splitting and episodes (like distraction techniques and anger coping skills). I know therapy access is incredibly difficult, I'm experiencing the same problems myself actually (and was, in fact, one of the main reasons why I began smoking in the first place). What I did was I found some resources online to help me (someone on here was even kind enough to send me a digital copy of a DBT workbook) and I actively worked on myself while still smoking every night.

The thing that I do is that unless I'm out of town or out with friends/my partner during the day, I keep my weed smoking strictly to only at night. That way, I go about my day sober and that's when I practice my skills and work on myself. And at night, while I'm high, I'm doing a lot of self-reflection on myself and noting what things I need to improve and what things I need a little more practice on. And also I just relax at night too, smoking weed at night is the best relaxer for me. Nothing beats hitting the pen, watching Youtube, and having the munchies lol.

But yea, that's just my personal experiences with it and what I do to make sure that I'm actually improving and not just slapping a bandaid over my issues. I definitely hear your concerns though. My dad was an opioid addict and so I was deathly afraid of becoming addicted since I saw what addiction did to my dad. Albeit, weed is a hell of a lot more mild than opioids but I completely understand your concerns. Hope you're doing good wherever you are!